what would you do if this happened to you?

[j1990]

if your ex cheated on you, and you had decided to mutually break up, what would possess you to want to get back together with that ex? if all your friends and those who care about you are telling you this ex is toxic and unhealthy, why would you still want to be with them? additionally, if there is a potential for you to be in a healthy relationship with someone new, who you know will give you everything you deserve, what is holding you back from pursuing that?

I've unexpectedly fallen for a really close guyfriend of mine but things havent progressed like I want them to, because hes still not over his exgf. they broke up about 6 months ago because she had cheated on him. when they broke up, i was the one he came to when he needed someone to talk to. me and this guyfriend have been through alot together and when i started falling for him...I knew it was going to be trouble. hes clearly not over his ex because hes always mentioning her in every conversation we have, even if its not something positive he says about her. im tired of him constantly complaining about her and bringing her up. the way i see it, he isnt even making a concious effort to permanently move on. i dont understand what hes holding onto either. all his friends and coworkers have told him multiple times thats shes unhealthy and that he needs to get away from her, but he refuses to listen to anyone.
i really thought i had a shot with him because things went well the first time he took me out to spend time together. then after that night we hung out, he disappeared. i didnt hear a word from him. it was completely out of character. my instinct was telling me something was up so i braced myself if the worst were to ever come. and it did. i had bumped into him today, and i saw him walking with his exgf, he didnt even acknowledge my presence, didnt even bother saying hi. i dont know what to think of any of this. he acts like he genuinely likes me, and then he does something unexpected like this. i'd like to have a talk with him about all of this, but im scared of the aftermath. he doesnt even know the way i feel about him. i refuse to just sit back and not put up a fight, but im unsure if this is even worth fighting for.

[kitkitkitty]

she cheated on him right? he's still in love with her cos he didn't do anything wrong and wanted to be with her. i also don't agree with a mutual break-up if one of them was cheating..
if you're in love with someone you see them through rose-tinted glasses and won't listen to anyone else who sees the 'relationship' for what i really is. you're gona have to let him get on with it and get his fingers burnt. unless his mindset on this changes, you telling him this girl's no good won't help.. he'll just resent you for it. stand by if you want to help him pick up the pieces when she cheats on him again.

[liziepot]

those EXes really ruin everything. if he's still stuck on his ex. i'll just let him feel my presence. let him feel that
i'm just here for him and i can help him to get over her.

a guy that's in love with me right now keeps talking about his ex.
and it annoys me. if he's in love with me he shouldnt talk anythingabout
that woman anymore.

[j1990]

I know right!! exes really do ruin everything! im in the same exact position as you liziepot. hes always talkng about her. i tolerated it at first only when they had just broken up and he needed someone to talk to. now its just ridiculously annoying. i feel like hes just playing mindgames with me. i'd hate to lose him as a friend but the way hes acting is driving me insane and its really testing my patience.

thanks for your input/advice guys its very much appreciated.