Can't stop thinking about an older man

[Kk33]

Let me introduce myself. I'm a 28 year old married woman. Married for 2 years, to a sweet 32 year old man. He travels a lot and is mostly away. I lost both my parents a year ago.
A few months ago I met a man who came across as extremely interesting and entertaining. I teach piano lessons. He was my student. He is a 45 year old man, recently separated from his wife, and has a 2 year old daughter.
He kept telling me from the first day I met him that he is a stone. Women keep falling in love with him, but he is not interested in women. I laughed initially. The age gap and the overconfidence were enough reasons for me to think that I would never fall for him.
But it did happen. I started developing feelings for him. We began hanging out a lot. I enjoyed his company immensely. I feel so comfortable with him that i ended up cuddling and sleeping with him in the same bed a couple of nights. Just talking and cuddling, nothing sexual.
I do not question his feelings for me. They are irrelevant to me from where I stand. For my part, I know I saw in him a comfortable friend, a good listener and yes, it felt good to be needed and respected. The fact we shared common interests and had recently suffered the loss of dear ones in our lives also sparked a connection. I know this for sure because I have no sexual feelings for him. In fact I've moved away every time he has tried to kiss my lips. Not just because of any moral obligations, but because I really didn't want to be physical with him in that way.
For some reason he suddenly moved to a different town recently. I tried to stay in touch. But he has been giving me the cold shoulder.
My problem is this, I can't seem to get him out of my head. I'm scared this is effecting my relationship with my husband. What started as private piano lessons had turned into an emotional affair and now it's eating at my sanity.
Should I call him up and ask him what's happening. And get a proper closure? Should I tell my husband about it?

[S0NofHAM]

30 year old, graduate student, been in love 5 times, and I understand obsession.

Here are my thoughts:

1. No, don't tell your husband *unless* what you think you did was cheating. I sort of think what you did was cheating by sleeping in the same bed with him and being emotionally connected/intimate with him, even if there was no physical contact whatsoever. The secret would be eating me away inside and I'm an open book so I would probably admit it to my partner. What would then happen? Probably the demise of your relationship with your husband. If you really think you're in the clear and don't consider it cheating, then simply don't tell your husband. Truly, you made sure he didn't touch you, so you can rationalize/justify your actions.

2. Proper closure? That never happens... trust me. The closest thing to true closure is time itself. There's no closure for losing someone that you love or is important to you.

3. Should you call him up? That's on you. If you want to leave your husband and try to be with this man, then give it a shot. If you want to stay with your husband, then *do not call the man and sever all communication whatsoever!* Consider yourself lucky that he is doing you a favor by giving you the cold shoulder.

Other comments:
You may not have sexual feelings for him yet, but in due time, they will come, and it will be real cheating.
Also, think of it this way: this man knew you were married (right? You play piano with your *fingers* so obviously he's seen your wedding ring, if you haven't outright told him you're married), and he tried to kiss you. So basically he's a shithead for making a pass on a married woman. Furthermore, he said he's this stone where he attracts all the women. If you left your husband to be with this man, he'd probably lose interest in you and go out flirting with other married women. He's a lost cause, no matter how handsome or alluring he may be. He will ruin your relationship with your husband the longer you stay in contact with him. The best thing you can possibly do is quit now, cut it off completely, go back to your husband, and don't tell your husband (because you can definitely rationalize this one and be in the clear), and live a happy life with your husband. If you don't want to be with your husband anymore, then divorce him, but don't even consider going back to this piano student. He is bad news and he will cheat on you if you enter a serious relationship with him. Even if you have an affair, that will definitely ruin your marriage, because I'm assuming you are the honest type of person who would tell your husband if you actually cheated on him.

CUT AND RUN

[Fuzzyfeeling]

Well.......i think you should really question that guy's exact role in your life before taking any further steps.

Because to me , or atleast the way you described him to be ,he sounds like a teddy bear.