What is on her mind?

[Fender]

I got to know this girl ard last yr..Been dating her for almost 2 mths ard which time I realised that she'll be gg away early tis yr to further her studies. But we continued dating cause i hope, things may work out somehow. We enjoyed ourselves during those times. I surely did. So now, she's away...And im missing her terribly and she doesnt know. I've onli contacted her on msn n occasioanlly on the phone. She seems a changed person now. She's having her own problems so I dun want to burden her wif my problems. I want to be 'strong' in case she needs somebody to lean against. But she's been more reclusive since going over. We'll occasionally quarrel over little issues like im not listening kinda thing when I'm offering her my ears all the time. Found out from her fren who is also my fren that her 'past' is catching up to her(before she met me). When we were together, I didnt probe much abt her past cause I just wanted her to be happy and having a good time when she's wif me.

How can I understand her better? Anyone been in similar situation as her or me?

[Gigabitch]

Communication is based on trust. It's a give and take thing. You need to share things with her so she will feel she can share things with you. Your attempt to be strong for her is actually not very welcoming, I think.

[Fender]

thanx... i remember her saying something like dat before. abt i have to share more things wif her.
what can i share wif her?.. i talk abt mundane things wif her almost all the time. Matters of the heart, i cant share much, cause it involves... her? what are some things that i can share wif her that can build up this trust further?

[Gigabitch]

thanx... i remember her saying something like dat before. abt i have to share more things wif her.
what can i share wif her?.. i talk abt mundane things wif her almost all the time. Matters of the heart, i cant share much, cause it involves... her? what are some things that i can share wif her that can build up this trust further?

This may be news to you, but there is no one on the planet a girl would rather hear about than herself. You could talk about her, your feelings for her, your concerns about your feelings for her, your reactions to your concerns about your feelings for her, ad nauseum (I'm pretty close already) and she'd be thrilled.

[Fender]

ic...thanx for the insight again...I'll give it another try. Just that I thot she's not that interested to hear such things cause after one such 'quarrel' with her.. I ever said something like, "I hope you dun get me the wrong way. It's just my way of showing that I care." She was quite fast to reply and avoid the subject abt me caring for her. yah..so i thot, she doesnt want to hear abt it. SHe likes to be consoled, to hear soothing words. But occasionally, I'd say something true, n she'll be agitated by it. Its getting harder to understand her...
Thanx for the advice again... u've been spot on so far