Can't resist tracking him

[Suburban Myth]

My ex-boyfriend was pretty much the cause of our breakup about 6 months ago, leaving me absolutely heartbroken. And although I'm not a resentful person, I still feel a strong dislike for him and now I can't imagine ever being able to trust someone again.


I know I'm not in love with him anymore, but I still can't seem to stop myself reading his blogs and myspace pages.

The breakup ended on bad enough terms and we don't really talk anymore...maybe that's why I'm curious as to what he's doing? I don't read it very often now, only every few weeks. But I hate that I even do it!


Anyone have any tips on how to just say NO to myself? I keep trying to tell myself that I'll regret reading it before I do, but I just do it anyway!

Thanks! =]

[Gigabitch]

Yes, I do. You need to replace him with better habits. Do something else. Do someONE else.

[Lite]

Typically there usually is someone heartbroken when a relationship ends. Many just don't end amicably. So, he's an asshole for hurting you, or he's an asshole for letting you go to deal with the pain so that you can find someone better suited for you to date? Which is better?

Pretty much you're stalking him, and that's kind of pathetic. You should value your time and energy a lot more than that.

[Illusional]

one word sums it up.. stalker.

raverboy

[Cbrider]

Its natural in a way to want to keep tabs, you still have some feelings for him romantic or not I would imagine. The difference between right and wrong here is whether you can draw the line and say to yourself that he isn't worth your time and that you deserve better.

No one can help you, you have to help yourself and decide that you don't care. Like so many other things, its in your hands...

[swargolet]

Like Cbrider said it is natural. I dont really know what draws someone to do this but I know that I did this waaaay too much with my break-up and as you know all it does is make you feel worse and worse. You'll hear things you dont want to hear or see things you dont want to see.

Acutally.... people probably do this because they are hoping to hear/see something good such as their ex saying "O I miss them, etc..." The truth is, that probably isnt going to happen.

I was "stalkerish" with my ex for about 2.5 weeks and slowly it just started clicking in my head that I was being an idiot and that it just made things worse. So how did I stop it? Any connection I had with her I tried to remove (which is VERY hard) I deleted my myspace account, I even cleared my internet history so when I typed in a site with an m myspace wouldnt pop and and tempt me. I took all her pictures in my room.wallet and put them deeeeep inside a drawer, I removed her speed contact from my phone, and more I cant think of.

It is hard but you are the one that has to make the decision to not track him. I still have the urge to go onto her myspace and look around even though it doesnt pop up, but then I pound the simple fact into my head, that it will just make things worse.

I wish you the best of luck as I know how hard it is. Just keep coming back here for help and the people on the forum will be more than willing to help.

[Gigabitch]

It takes 21 days to form a new habit. If you can go NC for 21 days, you're probably in the clear. MAKE yourself do this.

[Suburban Myth]

Like Cbrider said it is natural. I dont really know what draws someone to do this but I know that I did this waaaay too much with my break-up and as you know all it does is make you feel worse and worse. You'll hear things you dont want to hear or see things you dont want to see.

Acutally.... people probably do this because they are hoping to hear/see something good such as their ex saying "O I miss them, etc..." The truth is, that probably isnt going to happen.

I was "stalkerish" with my ex for about 2.5 weeks and slowly it just started clicking in my head that I was being an idiot and that it just made things worse. So how did I stop it? Any connection I had with her I tried to remove (which is VERY hard) I deleted my myspace account, I even cleared my internet history so when I typed in a site with an m myspace wouldnt pop and and tempt me. I took all her pictures in my room.wallet and put them deeeeep inside a drawer, I removed her speed contact from my phone, and more I cant think of.

It is hard but you are the one that has to make the decision to not track him. I still have the urge to go onto her myspace and look around even though it doesnt pop up, but then I pound the simple fact into my head, that it will just make things worse.

I wish you the best of luck as I know how hard it is. Just keep coming back here for help and the people on the forum will be more than willing to help.

That's really helpful, thanks.
Everyone's comments are helpful.


I know it's in my hands, I'm the one doing it. I guess I always considered myself to be a mature person..... not anymore.

You'd swear we're about 12 or something, the way we carry on. He even reads my blogs too. But I haven't gone near his since the other day when I posted this topic....

it's a start

[swargolet]

Well that is good to hear. It really does take time and every day that passes is one step closer to pure FREEDOM!!! Probably not the right word choice but you know what I mean.
Just make sure to resist all urge of seeing something of him. Whenever I hear something about my ex or see her pic or something like that it feels like I just lost 3 days of progress towards getting over the break-up and really that is kinda how it is. You help yourself out by not contacting then one contact can ruin all the progress.
Some things you cant avoid such as someone talking about your ex, but the moment they do take it into your own hands to walk away or ask them kindly to stop. My brother mentioned that he talked with my ex's new bf yesterday and the moment I he said that I just told him to stop right there and change the topic which he kindly did.

I know you can take it upon yourself to stop. Dont call yourself immature, break-ups are a learning experience and just because you did somethings that werent the best doesnt mean you are immature.

[bluesummer]

I deleted my ex off of facebook and told him not to call me unless he wanted to talk about the money he owes me. It was hard to cut off contact completely (only due to familiarity - not missing him), and I'd been facebook stalking him too......hoping to find out his life was falling apart and the like.

Once I did that, it was easy. I hardly even think about him anymore.