Whats wrong with me?

[-suo]

Ok im about to turn 20 and Im a complete virgin. I dont know why but I dont want to lose my virginity. So Im talkin to this girl that I knew from highschool on the internet, so I send her a picture of me and she thinks im hot. She then takes a pic for herself and sends it to me and she was lookin hot as well. She then said that she was coming down and wanted to meet up for lunch. I took her to this little Japansse place quiet and nice, good food, she seemed to be haveing a great time and we didnt eat much because we were talkin alot. I havent seen this girl in 2 years. So we part and she give me a real "firendly" hug. Then she calls me today, at first I didnt answer her 3 calls and I felt guilty so I called her back. So I call and she came over, my firends and I were workin on our RC cars. About and hour later or so my firends figure they better leave because they know Im a virgin and want me to "hook up" with this girl or any girl for that matter. They leave and me and this girl sit an watch TV for about and hour and she obviously liked me because she sat almost right next to me. In my mind I think "I think shes hot.. but I know I cant make a move.. I guess Ill wait to see if she make a move then Ill just let go."

Well and hour later she desides to make her move she gets my attention and looks into my eyes smiles I smile back she lays on me and I freeze. I think "Umm...........................WTF DO I DO......" she sits there for about a min before she relizes I wont move or try to get more comfortable with her. She gets up gets her bag and walk back to me and goes to sit and before she sits down I say "You leavin?" and she replys "I have to otherwise Ill stay way to long." So I walk her to her car thinking "WTF why cant I do this, why whats wrong with me". We get to her car she give me this long deephug that I try to pull out of but she trys to pull me back but I broke lose. I said "Have fun at college" she replys "Have fun with your car".

This isnt the first time this has happend. I liked this other girl but she didnt care for me, what if she did like me I would of done the same BS. Ill never lose it my virginty, im 20 and i never even kissed or cuttled with a girl. This girl was perfect she is 19, pretty face nice curves a nice body not a super hot babe but I know because Im so ****ed up I put her picture on hotornot so I could find out what 332 people thought she looked like. Everything pointed to good, she only has had one partner her X and how she just wants to fool around with someone.

I just blew off the perfect way to lose my virginity, so I now sit alone in my room with my parents gone. Just trying to figure out what in the world is wrong with me. I can dream about it but when reality is right in front of me I cant face it.

Whats wrong with me?

[Only-virgins]

I dont know. You sound like you WANT to lose it you just DON'T for some odd reason. I chose not to lose it and am fine with it. Do you get nervous or something?

Anyways...I wouldnt have sex with a ***** that says "I just want to fool around with someone"..she can go fawk herself if you ask me. Were is the dignity in "fooling around". Your either serious or not.

[-suo]

She never said that, she just said she doesnt want a boyfirend. Shes a realy nice person.

I feel like I want to hold her and what but when it come to actualy doing it.. Im lost, I freeze up. I can only wonder what sex is going to be like, probley a complete disaster that would scare me forever.

[Only-virgins]

She never said that, she just said she doesnt want a boyfirend. Shes a realy nice person.

I feel like I want to hold her and what but when it come to actualy doing it.. Im lost, I freeze up. I can only wonder what sex is going to be like, probley a complete disaster that would scare me forever.

Well, if you emotionally feel something for her then all you have to do is let it out around her no?. If you just want to bang her to lose your virginity then confidence is your problem and if you really like her then fear/nervousness is your problem most likely. She doesnt want a boyfriend?...isnt that saying the same thing pretty much..I mean correct me if Im wrong but it seems like its just the action part instead of the wording part of what I said previously.

[-suo]

I havent seen this girl in two years(So no feelins). She was open for anything at all, I dont know what I want and I threw it all away. It was the perfect setup all I had to do was go with it and I froze up. When she was leavin I had another chance but instead of just leftin her hug me deeply and say something like Im going to miss u alot she probley would of wanted to stay, I knew she did. She gave me the opening and I threw it down. Why the whole time I wanted it but when she came on to me like I wanted I froze up, when she came back to sit down I remind her she was leaving and during the hug I.. well I distroyed that in fact I may have distroyed any chance in the future as well as a firendship.

My last words to her were "enjoy college". WTF deep down I wanted her (I wanted her in highschool) but I pushed her out the door and as soon as she left I felt a like a weight was lifted off my shoulders like I advoided death. I feel that geting laid is expected of me and I do want it but at the same time I dont.

I will never get a chance like I had tonight tomarrow she goes back to college. Now I gp back to playin this my lame ass RC car.

[Only-virgins]

Don't worry to much. If you got laid you would have just been back to playing with your RC car anyways...its just one event and not some special life changing experience. I had chances and I am happy I turned them down but thats just me. I am angry about not taking a chance with one girl while I am happy about avoiding all the other ones. I guess everyone is different. To me it still sounds like you wanted to get laid and just got really nervous or scared when the chance came...oh well..there is always next time they say right?

[-suo]

The same thing will happen. The last time a girl made a move on me was 2 years ago. I got along wait.