My girlfriend says i raped her

[KirbyFaraone]

last night me and my girlfriend went to a party and we both drank, we we're both pretty ****ed up. so after the party we went back to her place and we started talking . we get in and we start kissing each other. next thing i know we are having sex, things are going good at first, she is moaning and wet. after a while i have a hard time cumming and in my drunken state i tell her i can cum but she is telling me to stop. i keep telling her i can finish but she tells me to stop like 3 times cause it's starting to hurt. eventually i do cum. we are getting dressed and she says to me "why did you rape me?" and i keep telling her "i'm sorry, i don't know why i didn't stop" (i usually do stop when i am sober cause i want to make sure she isn't hurt). so we go back and forth i'm apologizing but in the end she tells me to go and so i go back home.

me and my girlfriend had just officially got back together like a day before and she told me that she loved me and she missed being my girlfriend. i'm a good guy and i love this girl with all my heart. i do treat her with respect and kindness. i feel so bad about what had happened i'm so scared of losing her again. what should i do?

[QueenofCorona]

I think its sort of a black and white issue on the rape thing and thats a pretty harsh accusation given she was into it at first but I don't know all the circumtances. The main and most important point is you should have stopped the first time she asked you, it was selfish and 100% wrong of you not to. I wish guys would walk in a girls vagina for a day and realize how painful sex can be for us at times.

I think you need to apologize up the wazoo and assure her your intentions were selfish but not with intent to harm her. PROVE it by not getting drunk and acting that way. Be considerate of her body from now on. You also need to realize that if you really care about this girl, sex isn't just about you getting yours.

[uniqueuser]

well put, I couldn't have said it better myself.

[IncognitoSir]

rape......nah. Asshole......YES!

[KirbyFaraone]

i felt so stupid and so bad. i had promised her to take her out for lunch to make up for something a couple of days ago, so i'm going to use that to my advantage to apologize to her and make her feel better about her self. I want her to know that i was sorry for using her like that and i felt like such an idiot.

i do realize that with sex it's not all about getting mine. there's been many times where if she can't cum, then i won't. she'll tell me she wants me to but i tell her i wanna be fair (the only way she has been able to cum is by riding me). In the end though i leave my finishing up to her, if she wants me to i will.

[vashti]

I think this is a TOTAL gray area with regards to "non-consentual" sex. Unless she was actually trying to push you off or was crying, I wouldn't call this rape at all, and I would be worried about her as a potential source of legal troubles. Are you sure you want this kind of drama?

[hurt_confuzd]

This was definitely rape (aka, surprise sex). Here's a list of possible excuses in a court of law:

-She was asking for it (which is almost always the case anyway)
-She was asleep at the time.
-She was drunk and/or high.
-You have autism (how can you be punished - you're special?)
-You cuddled with her afterwards.
-You didn't orgasm (it's not technically sex if the man doesn't get off)
-She's ugly.
-She didn't fight hard enough on purpose and therefore wanted to be raped.
-You paid for her dinner and drinks.
-You are more attractive than her boyfriend.
-She was dressed provocatively.
-You have amnesia.
-It was for national security.

[KirbyFaraone]

okay what the ****?

me and my girlfriend were drunk, we WANTED to have sex with each other. We were both enjoying having sex with each other, but she got dry. I was still drunk and kept going and i accidentally hurt her.

what the **** is all this legal shit. she IS MY GIRLFRIEND. not a stranger.

[ecojeanne]

i think when you have a situation like this and your girlfriend can easily say you raped her then i would suggest to you that this is not a good sign for your relationship and it's future. you kept going when you should have stopped. she got hurt, sex is not about hurting, fact is you could have stopped and finished yourself off yourself or even asked her to help finish you off but what happened is wrong...it's not rape tho.

[MVPlaya]

Thats not rape, and a girl should know better than to throw an accusation like that. If she utters that words, it can't be taken back, and it will scar a relationship. What you did was inconsiderate, but you were both having sex consensually.

[IndiReloaded]

i felt so stupid and so bad. i had promised her to take her out for lunch to make up for something a couple of days ago, so i'm going to use that to my advantage to apologize to her and make her feel better about her self. I want her to know that i was sorry for using her like that and i felt like such an idiot.

i do realize that with sex it's not all about getting mine. there's been many times where if she can't cum, then i won't. she'll tell me she wants me to but i tell her i wanna be fair (the only way she has been able to cum is by riding me). In the end though i leave my finishing up to her, if she wants me to i will.

Sounds like this isn't the first time you've had sex with her, right? And you've been seeing each other for a while?

If you mean other girls, then you might have a problem. But if you've been with her before and this time was just a bad session, then its what IncognitoSir said. She sounds a bit stupid tho, to use that word if you've had sex before. Trouble.

[hurt_confuzd]

Sounds like this isn't the first time you've had sex with her, right? And you've been seeing each other for a while?

If you mean other girls, then you might have a problem. But if you've been with her before and this time was just a bad session, then its what IncognitoSir said. She sounds a bit stupid tho, to use that word if you've had sex before. Trouble.

Only someone from Bumfuçk Nowhere, British Columbia would say something like that. This was clearly rape, and he needs a lawyer.

[VincenzoG91]

Only someone from Bumfuçk Nowhere, British Columbia would say something like that. This was clearly rape, and he needs a lawyer.

Are you an expert on rape?

[adam95]

considering she is your gf and you guys did have sex before, i dont think its rape. yes that was very wrong of you to keep going when she asked you to stop but i dont think its rape. just apologize, prove to her u wont do this again. make it up to her. dont have sex for a long while, gain her trust again. did u talk to her after the incident?

[IndiReloaded]

Only someone from Bumfuçk Nowhere, British Columbia would say something like that. This was clearly rape, and he needs a lawyer.

Are you an expert on rape?

LOL! Yes, he probably is. He takes them to his mommy's basement to have his way with them.