Feel so Broken inside.

[Angelo_91]

I feel like i'm holding onto nothing. The only thing that made my life, made me complete, kept me from feeling down and depressed and put a smile on my face has been gone from my life since last september and I still can't get over it.

I have moved from love to hate, bitter to emotionless. I hate her and cant stand her now, it seems like she doesnt care or has already forgotten our past, it's like I meant nothing more than a scratch that has healed years ago in her life. I cant seem to get over it and move on with my pathetic life already.

I barely ever see her anymore in real life but everyday I go on facebook and just look at her facebook page and lurk (yes i know creepy) her life, her never ending list of friends, and experiences. I try to stop myself from going on the facebook, but its an addiction and a routine, I just cant get through the day without seeing her face. I want this pain to end already, I am bipolar so I feel the ups and downs a lot. I try to look at other girls and feel an attraction or sense of care or any sort of sentimentality for them, but I can't and see nothing. I am a very introverted guy and she was the only, ONLY person i've ever showed compassion and love for other than my parents(which i rarely do anymore). She has killed me in the inside and left me in the dust to rot and all i ever did was care. Where is the justice.

I can feel it, I'm screaming on the inside, screaming to hear her voice outloud and to feel the comfort of her around me.

Yes and i know after reading my rant, you can see im a pretty ****ed up kid. And yes I have been to mental institutions, hospitals, etc. So please refrain from telling me to get help. I really dont know what to do, im not wise so i came here to seek wisdom. please respond.

[Gigabitch]

If she had actually killed you on the inside, you wouldn't be screaming, now would you?

This is actually a good thing. It's a sign of life. Tortured life, yes, but life just the same, and life wants to be happy. You need to give yourself a chance, man.

Get the **** off Facebook. Tell yourself it's just for a couple of months and you can go be Mr. cyber stalker later. I'll bet you don't feel like it after you break this cycle of misery you're stuck in.

You have to change your life. Change it on purpose and with great determination. You can't get over her because in some small part you don't really want to, and it's ruining your life. She's like a drug, so send yourself to rehab.

[IndiReloaded]

How old are you, Angelo?

I know you said you've been for help, so not to tell you that, so I won't. But I would like to know what they did tell you. Could you give us an idea of the suggestions they made (to compare to)?

Thanks hun. It will be okay.

[Angelo_91]

im only 16...

[miSSleepy]

I feel like i'm holding onto nothing. The only thing that made my life, made me complete, kept me from feeling down and depressed and put a smile on my face

There's your problem. You should NEVER rely on only one thing to keep you happy, complete, etc. Because 90% of the time things change. You invested too much of yourself into this person, You need to give yourself to other people (friends, family etc) and other things (hobbies, study). It doesn't mean that she doesn't get that special part of you, but you need something to bounce back on.

And guess what? You still have that something to bounce back on, you just need to bring it out, or look for it. Is there anything that you're very interested in? Any places you love? Go there, do the things you're interested in, find something in your life to work on. . focus your energy on growing and learning. You're 16 and you went through what everyone goes through, and you'll probably go through it again. It's not a reason to curl up and die.

[Ekips]

You are young and time goes on.

No, I don't care if you're 40 in physical age.

This must be like, the first time you've been left by someone you believed you were in love with.

Tough through the pain, cry, and move on.

No, really, it'll go away.

[Angelo_91]

thanks everyone, i dont see myself coming back to this site for a while, which is good, so thanks again.

[1averagejoe]

Stay off of facebook. It's just like keeping her gifts or her picture in your room. It will only haunt you more and more. Put it away. The only way to really get over her is to get rid of everything that reminds you of her. If you have to delete your facebook so you don't go on their anymore do it. I know it may be a bit tough for you...but you've got to move on. But you will get past this, you're only 16 you've got a long road ahead of you.

Hang out with friends, occupy yourself with hobbies, workout, run, just keep yourself busy. Keep your mind off of her. Things will get better.