trying to understand her

[lilwing89]

hey all!

ive been reading some of your forums, helping you out, trying to help you solve your dating problems, and i haven't came to you for advice for a while, so i guess its my turn?

well here it is...me and this one girl dated for like 6 days..but then we broke up cause she didn't want people to know we were going out(she is new to this dating stuff) she says she doesn't want people to think she is a slut, and/or any of that crap, but that is only 1 reason for her breaking up with me.

she wouldn't tell me the other reason, i kept asking her, and trying to guess what it is and no luck. what could it be?
heres what i guessed
1. she likes another dude (no)
2. she is lesbian/bisexual (no)
3. she just wanted to be friends with benefits (no)
4. she cheated on me (no)
5. she doesnt really like me like that and she feels sorry for me (no)
those were just the categories that everything i guessed was in...she says it doesn't have to do with me or anybody else but herself. AND I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!!!!!!(what else could it be??? she thinks that it would change how i look at her)

and well i want to ask her back out cause we both still like eachother and stuff(and we have been making out and doing other stuff) and i feel like i need to know before it takes place. help!

and well she tells everyone that asks her if we were going out that she is only a good friend of mine and we never went out or anything. and then when i asked her if she really told that to them she was like "who do you really trust? im soo sick of trying to get you to trust me" and never answers the question. and then the other day she was talking to me online and she was like "so you are really going around saying crap about us, still????" and im like what the hell are you talking about, and i had to argue with her just to find out what it was im being accused of...and it was because i am telling people that she broke up with me for no reason... my excuse was because i dont want people in our business..and well now we are getting along just great because she told me to tell people that ask that to "shut the hell up" any ideas?

would she really make out with me and say she liked me if she didn't? would her mom really like me that much and treat me like an angel if the girl didn't like me? she tells her mom all about me, and her friends say all she talks about is me but they dont quite understand why she denies that she likes me like that or anything.(and everyone knows we like eachother)

in conclusion she is really tough to understand(but this is the only thing i dont understand about her)
so what is your say in this?

[Asip4u]

she doesnt really like me like that and she feels sorry for me (no)

yes!

would she really make out with me and say she liked me if she didn't?

yes!

would her mom really like me that much and treat me like an angel if the girl didn't like me?

yes!

1.The girl can be using you just to experiment (you said she's new to dating) with someone first.
2. She would tell you up front if she liked you and if she's denying it to every one, it means she doesn't feel the same way about you.
3. Yes, it's very possible that her mom likes you but that doesn't mean that her daughter does. It's more common that the daughter will bring a guy home that the parents will NOT like, it won't make much difference to her because a lot of parents eventually accept him.

[shh!]

Girls who are crazy about a boy can't wait to blab it to the rest of the world. My guess is she is just practicing with you, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Sorry.

[Junket]

It hurts I know.

Somebody here will offer you their shoulder I'm sure.

[Prodigal]

My advice will be blunt.

Don't try to understand her. In fact, get away from her!

Although she says she doesn't want to be viewed as a slut... there would be a lower chance people would think of her as one if she didn't do things that could be perceived as slutty. Come on, why would your situation make someone think she's a slut? You started going on, that's all... I mean, unless you're not saying something here, that doesn't qualify her in any way as being a slut. By doing stuff with you then denying it... all in less than a week? Definitely sounds more worthy of 'slut' material to me.

My feeling is that you got used, and she got done with you in a short amount of time. It wasn't long enough to where people found out... so she leaves you in the dust, and tells you not to say anything so you stay right there in the past, never to resurface and cause her trouble.

I'd say not to waste your time with a girl like this. You seem to care too much about feelings to deal with a girl like her. I know you can find a girl who's better for you... my advice is to just leave her behind just like she wants to leave you behind.

[ger_ireland]

dont push her away, by being in her face and trying to get her back, she may have issues that need to be sorted in her mind
tell her you are there for her and leave it at that for now, she may eventually come round

give her some breathing space
take care
ger

[lilwing89]

thanks ger, thats actually what im doing right now; giving her space...and well to the other guys(and gals) if she dont change i will get away from her.
well i hope it all turns out good..i know she isnt using me cause her friends know she likes me.