Semi-long distance relationship problems

[Aqualoo]

I have known my girlfriend for almost a year. We met online from an online forum and I randomly started talking to her about lamps(Please, don't ask). After that we talked everyday. I live in Merritt Island, FL and she lives in Miami. We live about 222 miles apart. Last November I finally met her and we fell in love. I have been back down there several times. The time before last I had found out she was still talking to a guy in England online and she was telling him she loved him. Now I don't know what the rest of you consider that, but I feel like I was cheated on. I decided to stay with her but now that is always in the back of my mind, always. It fills with me with such rage because she had told me before we met how one of her boyfriends cheated on her and she told me how horrible it felt.. and then she does it to me. Anyways I came back last saturday from her house and everyday since then we have been fighting. It's always about the same thing. Girls. She does not trust me.. or at least it feels like that. Every time I ask she says she trusts me and I say "Bullshit!". Almost every where I go she asks about 10 questions and it bugs the hell out of me. Even when I'm with her and we are out she thinks I'm looking at other girls. I can honestly say, I never have. This is definitly tearing us apart. I want it to stop. I want it to stop so bad I tried to show her how dedicated I am to her by carving the letter "J" in my foot. J for Jenn, which is her name. That didn't even work. I don't know what else to do. I've tried so many times to tell her I don't and it seems like she believes me but things never change. I am returning to Miami to see her tomorrow. Please help.

[Rosebud]

Ok fisrt off, stop hacking up your body! That right there is an indicator you need some professional help.

Secondly, if you notice there are lots of threads on this forum about LDR's and how it takes special people to be able to handle them and make them work. This is always going to be a problem becasue you two aren't close to each other as often as normal couples are and so the thought of them cheating will always be in your mind or her's. This is the exact reason LDR"s don't work for people who have trust issues.

So since you can't prove anything to her exect to keep telling her the truth you either have to deal with this until you two decided to "be" together or you will ahe to cut your losses now. And another note is she is already doing things behind your back..so your trust with her should be the issue not the other way around. And the reason she is accusing you is because she's doing it herself!

[Pears]

You and she both seem to have trust issues. How can she trust you if you don't trust her? How can you trust her if she can't trust you? It's a vicious cycle.

From experiencing a long distance relationship, I found that it is harder to keep trust when you don't see your significant other often. There is no personal connection. Phone calls and instant messages don't create that.

I do not see pursuing this relationship as a good idea. I think it would be good for you to take a break away from it and think about other things.

[Aqualoo]

I don't have a trust issue with her though. I believed her when she told me she'd never do it again.. and I don't think she will.

Your trust with her should be the issue not the other way around.

I pointed that out in an argument we had the last time I was there. I do not have a problem with cutting. It's just I'm willing to do just about anything to keep this relationship. I already have many scars all over my body from other things. 20+ on my hands alone. I figured one more wouldn't make things worse.

[Rosebud]

I do not have a problem with cutting. It's just I'm willing to do just about anything to keep this relationship. I already have many scars all over my body from other things. 20+ on my hands alone. I figured one more wouldn't make things worse.

I would have assumed you had more already. I had an ex that did the same thing to try and prove to me that he loved me, and after a few months it turned into carving my name all over his body and when he didn't think it worked he tried to commit suicide. And there are other ways to prove to someone you care about them, carving their name or letter in your body doesn't show anything except your deseperate!

Edit: You do have a trust issue with her if you say you feel like you were cheated on and it's always in the back of your mind...which is what you said! So your always going to have that there....that's what I'm saying. Since you guys aren't seeing each other all the time you have no way of knowing for sure what the other is doing, all you can do is trust one another and if you can't do that ( either of you) then there's no relationship what so ever!

[Aqualoo]

I show her I care a lot. Whenever we go out I pay for food, tickets, drinks, candy, little shit we don't need, and more. Also, whenever she wants sex.. she gets it. I help around the house when I'm there too by doing HER laundry and folding them, taking out the garbage, and taking care of her animals while shes at school. I am also going to help her lose over 30lbs by the end of this school year.

In response to your edit.. it's not ALWAYS there 24/7 in the back on my head. Just every once in a while it will pop in. Oh and it really sucks when it does before/during sex because then I'll get kinda blah but I don't want to stop because I do not want her to know it still bothers me. I don't think about it as much as I did.. time helps all problems. Not the best solution but it still works.

[Rosebud]

Ok so if your going to retreat back on everything your saying when I try to point things out, then what are you looking for?

And honestly, it sounds like she's using you....I mean come on you pay for all that stuff, you do her laundry at her house, you clean her house, and you believe her when she's telling some other guy the same thing she tells you? And then you feel the need the still prove to her you care about her and trustworthy becasue she doesn't trust you? I don't know maybe it's just me but it sounds a little suspicious to me.

[Aqualoo]

You do have a point.. I don't know... there has been times where she'll pay for things without complaining. I guess I'll just wait and see.. not much more I can do. I know shes not cheating on me because last time I was there for 3 weeks, if she wasn't at school, she was with me. And I meet her right after school so it's not like she could run off with some guy for a few minutes before she came home.

[Lloyd95]

I have known my girlfriend for almost a year. We met online from an online forum and I randomly started talking to her about lamps(Please, don't ask). After that we talked everyday. I live in Merritt Island, FL and she lives in Miami. We live about 222 miles apart. Last November I finally met her and we fell in love.

You're 17 and this is where I stopped reading.
::rolls eyes::

[blackiesharley]

You're 17 and this is where I stopped reading.
::rolls eyes::

First post I read today and once again I'm agreeing with Lloyd, second day in a row. There must be some good snowball fights going on in Hell today. LOL.

Seriously dude - You're doing HER laundry? Stop it! Even when I was married I didn't do my wife's laundry, she did hers and I did mine. Some things should always remain private.

You've fallen into the 'friend zone' and that's almost impossible to get out of.

[Lloyd95]

Alright blackie, keep reading today...I'm gonna break "3" for ya!