Advice for dating a good friend

[saverome]

If anyone has any experience with this or any other advice, it would be greatly appreciated. I am a male college student, and one of my good friends (a girl) from home (who is also a college student, at a different school) and I have been friends for about 8 years. We aren't best friends, but we are very good friends who hang out with the same group and really enjoy each other's company. Just recently while home for break we began talking, and we both found out that we have been practically in love with each other for a very long time without either of us being aware of the other's feelings. So now we both know how we feel and we have kissed a few times (but we still haven't told the rest of our mutual friends), and for now we are both back at our respective schools but both would like to become more than friends (probably when we get home for the summer and can see each other). Does anyone have any experience with this? Many people say that dating a good friend is a bad idea, but I feel that we are both in love with each other and want to make it work. Does anyone have any advice on how to do this while avoiding the problems that are normally associated with dating a good friend? I think we both want to be something more, we're just not sure what the best way to do it is since we have been friends first. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks everyone.

[Junket]

It always seems like a good idea at the time.

[misombra]

i suppose it could work. it's always a chance, you never know what's going to happen next but that's life. if you like each other than get to know each other more. hang out more. if it doesn't work it doesn't work. at least you took a chance.

[KirstyM]

I prefer dating friends than dating someone you dont know so well. My current gf and my ex were both v good friends before we took it a step further. Ok so yeah you are risking a friendship but on the other hand if you really are good friends then you already know each other pretty well and it's just a matter of adding that extra side to your relationship. IMO friends first is a good thing.

[saverome]

Yeah, I thought that it would be a good thing that we are friends first so that we already have a foundation and would be adding another level to our relationship, and I wanted to know if that has worked for other people or if it's a recipe for disaster. I'm glad that it has worked for you, Kirsty, that gives me hope! Thanks for the advice everyone.

[Viro]

Saverome... It is a good iadea though, but dont be rash about it, you both have known each other for 8 years, take it step by step ad see what will develop before hearts get broken....

[saverome]

Ok, this might be a dumb add-on question, but I've been thinking about it. Valentine's day is only a week away...given my situation, do you think it would be best to not even bring it up or should I maybe subtly ask her if she wants to be my Valentine? I'm not really sure how "serious" being someone's Valentine is, and like Viro said I should take it step by step, so I'm just curious if people think it's a good or bad idea to bring up the topic of Valentine's Day with her (also remember, if we were to be each other's Valentine's it would be a private thing, since none of our other friends know about our feelings yet).

[KirstyM]

Yeah, bring the subject up with her

[Viro]

The valentine idea is a good one, be yourself...