very embarrassing question

[idoubtit]

recently I have been dating a nice guy who is 35 year old.
He has received good education, has great personality.
But I just found that last night that the sex part is horrible.
We have seen each other for 3 times. Though he insists that he is looking for a serious long term relationship, he appears to be eager to get intimate with me physically. At first I was kinda suspicious, but then I decided to give it a shot. Many of my gfs told me that sex is an important part in relationships. If two persons are not a good match on bed, it's a dead-end relationship.
So last night he invited me over to his apartment, and I went.
And surprisingly, I found that his man's thing is not impressive at all and even could not function properly. He explains that he was too nervous facing a beautiful woman. I knew he was nervous because he got sweat over his body. But somehow I just didn't feel that he is normal on the sex part. He liked me so much that he wanted me to sleep over because he "wants to see me wake up in the morning", and he said if I were together eventually, we are spend the whole life together waking up together in the morning.

I said no and went back home.

I felt terrible.

On paper he is a perfect guy. He is smart, funny, kind, warm, has everything that I wanted.

But I can not ignore the sex part.

Shall I give him another chance or I should just stop seeing him?

It's so sad.

[MavViper]

Well, sex is definitately an important part of a relationship but I know of quite a few couples who don't have sex anymore or who have bad sex lives (some of my friends share WAY too many details). It depends on the person, do you feel you could have a relationship with this man even though your sex life isn't that great?

And I wouldn't tell him the sex was bad or even mention that "his thing didn't work". That's a sure way to kill his self esteem. He made up the excuse that he was nervous because he was embarrassed.

I am kinda concerned cause after seeing eachother 3 times, he is already eager to get physical and wanted you to sleep over so he could see you wake up and he's already talkin about spending your lives together? My instinct is to say this guy seems a tad odd, like he has some emotional issues like attachment issues.

[vashti]

I'm not sure what you mean by "his thing wasn't impressive". Do you mean he wasn't huge? Or his performance wasn't great? Sex is a learned skill. He may just need some direction and practice. Also, he probably wouldn't have been so nervous had you two spent a bit more time developing a trusting relationship before hitting the sack.

[ecojeanne]

haha this post made me laugh with some of the expressions you used, anyway, sex is learned and practice makes perfect. the first time is always awkward, thats another reason i would never bother with one night stands, whats the point, it'll be crap. anyway if you like this guy then don't focus on the mistakes of the first attempt.

[Illusional]

why not give it another try and see if it's just a phase. if things turn out poorly, then you'll have lost nothing.

raverboy

[idoubtit]

it's so embarrassing

[DoesntMatter]

Why is it embarassing?

[lesa]

Maybe he wanted you to see his 'defect' before investing too much into the relationship and then go from there. He wanted you to know what you are getting yourself into in this relationship.