My bf was born into a family in which his mom was always moving place to place and drank alot, so he lived and was raised by his grandparents and saw his mom often. She stopped drinking eventually and got married and my bf moved out of his grandparents and in with me.

He is now 22, and has NEVER asked his mom who his real dad is, but he is curious. He doesn't ask because he thinks that she will get emotional and will think he has some sort of hole in his life which is far from the case. His mom works in a jail and is very stubborn, dramatic and preachy, and he has not bonded with her so its sort of difficult to have casual conversations.

He is very close to his grandpa, so one day I made a round-the-bush comment to who this guy might be and his grandpa went nuts saying thats something my bf has to talk to with his mom about and that he NEVER met or knew the guy (which was a total lie of course..)

We thought we'd check out his birth certificate to avoid drama but there was no one listed in the father area.. It seems asking his mom is unavoidable but HOW do you start a conversation like that????