Friends Vs My dream girl. Help!

[Den667]

hey people, so im new here and i got a prob guys.
lemme first introduce myself briefly, im 18 this yr and im from singapore so let me start off yea

well let me first start off with saying that i happen to be in one of those popular cliques in my college- the basketball team. All my buddies are kinda cocky but yea you know, they're always like that and we have been friends for a pretty long time so we're really close. All of them have girlfriends, mostly bimbos and cheerleaders whom they consider to be hot. In singapore we call these chicks "chio bu" for your info. im still single, most probably cos i dont like the feeling of being tied down by a chick. then one day i met her, at this choir session whch i was forced to go for detention. honestly, the first thing about her that attracted me wasnt her looks but the way she was helping her friends in the session. She is one of the choir leaders i guess. There's just sth about her, and she has a great voice and she's very gentle. so damn different from those 'chio bu' s in our school. i guess i was looking lost so she came to me and talked to me and i seriously began to realise that she is beautiful. I think i really like her but there's a lot of problems.

the major prob is my friends. I told them about her and they said that shes not up to our clique's standard or sth like that. that she's not outgoing enough and she doesnt deserve me. i dont know why they hate her so much man. and furhermore, im a chinese and she's a malay- so we're of a diff race and culture. third, i don know is she likes me, but i caught her looking at me a few times though Guys , shuld i go for her?

The most CRAZY thing is that ALL my friends said that she is super ugly. i don't believe it guys, i think she's beautiful. i guess they're racists. out of curiosity, i really wanna know what you guys think of her. I got these two pics from her friendster. (Not that i need reassurance to think that she's pretty but im just curious of what you guys think of her ) she's 18 too by the way. I really like her eyes

[carl1222]

I think she's absolutely beautiful!!! It's kind of hard to tell from the pictures, it looks like she has a few extra pounds/kilograms. Is that why your friends think she's "ugly"?

To hell with what your friends think ... date whomever you are attracted to. They don't have to date her, so it's none of their business and their comments are completely out of line. It sounds like she'd be a much better girlfriend that the chio bu's theyv'e chosen to be with. It's probably not racism as much as they are just snobs. Keep the girl, get better friends.

Carl.

ps ... how does "chio bu" translate into English?

[Aeradalia]

She's positively lovely....

I can't help but to wonder if your friends date these "chio bu" more so for appearances than actually liking or being attracted to them.

You should not have to require 'permission' from friends to go out with someone. If you like her, then by all means, pursue her.

[The_bobb]

F**K what your friends say or think. Date who you want to date. it's your life not theirs. If my friends even thought of telling me who i can and can't see, i'd lay them out...
Have they givin you ANY reasons not to see her? Reasons OTHER than "she just doesn't belong"?

There's a line between being concerned about a friend in an abusive relationship. And being controlling.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~Dr. Seuss

PS: i think she's hot...

[Gigabitch]

While I agree that you shouldn't let your friends tell you who to date, it doesn't change the fact that you won't be able to be around them with this girl because they'll treat her like dirt. Think about whether or not you're willing to go against them for her, and if you're not sure, don't subject her to their crap.

I think she's really cute, but I could easily imagine her being totally cowed by all the cheerleaders.

[Hope]

well i think you should gor for it Den since you really like her

by the way i think she's beautiful too her eyes are amazing

[Den667]

I think she's absolutely beautiful!!! It's kind of hard to tell from the pictures, it looks like she has a few extra pounds/kilograms. Is that why your friends think she's "ugly"?

To hell with what your friends think ... date whomever you are attracted to. They don't have to date her, so it's none of their business and their comments are completely out of line. It sounds like she'd be a much better girlfriend that the chio bu's theyv'e chosen to be with. It's probably not racism as much as they are just snobs. Keep the girl, get better friends.

Carl.

ps ... how does "chio bu" translate into English?

To ans your question carl, yeah i would say she has a few extra pounds/kilograms, so she's a little overweight. Thats one of the many reasons that my buddies gave to not date her. but i dont mind cause i still think she's naturally pretty. she barely has make up on in sch unlike the cheerleaders


'chio bu' is not a formal chinese term, more of a slang used here in spore. basically 'chio bu' = pretty/hot girl

[Den667]

just an update guys. i still havent made an official decision yet cos i know ill risk losing friendship if i pursue her.(furthermore im still nt sure if she likes me too)

Today my buddies actually introduced 3 girls to me, more of those type they would typically go for. they were trying so hard to set me up with one of the girls =named sherry or sth like tt. they said tt she liked me since the start fo this year or sth. so i was caught in this supposed 'group date' with this sherry and my buddies+their gfs. man today i had detention, and today's he 1st day im looking forward to detention cos i can see her when i walked into the choir room, i saw her playing the piano. man, she looks really pretty and she was wearing this white dress(compared to sherry's tube top and mini skirt). for a moment she saw me and smiled at me. but damn it i didnt get to talk to her today cos the stupid teacher wanted me to help him sort out some assignments instead. Now im thinking of how to get myself in detention again and how im going to tell my friends that im going to choose her, but i really dont want to lose them. argh this is frustrating.

[Den667]

by the way thanks guys for your comments. actually im open to all comments, so if you think she is not pretty at all or anything just say it. your comments just proved my buddies wrong cos they said to me " just choose any random person and show him the girls' pic and we bet he'll say she's ugly". but all the comments here so far are positive

[The_bobb]

Well Den, i for one hope you take our advice and tell your "friends" to piss off and get a date with this girl...

If they don't like it, they can lose your number. As far as i can tell, you'll be wanted to spend the extra time with this girl anyway, so it's win win in my book.

[Gigabitch]

She sounds really sweet and wholesome. Maybe your friends would like to know what we think of the tube-top girl. Post her pic too and I'll bet everyone responds with comments about how slutty she looks.

[Den667]

She sounds really sweet and wholesome. Maybe your friends would like to know what we think of the tube-top girl. Post her pic too and I'll bet everyone responds with comments about how slutty she looks.

lol great idea Giga.ill try to find their gfs' pics and post it up here

[carl1222]

just an update guys. i still havent made an official decision yet cos i know ill risk losing friendship if i pursue her.(furthermore im still nt sure if she likes me too)

Today my buddies actually introduced 3 girls to me, more of those type they would typically go for. they were trying so hard to set me up with one of the girls =named sherry or sth like tt. they said tt she liked me since the start fo this year or sth. so i was caught in this supposed 'group date' with this sherry and my buddies+their gfs. man today i had detention, and today's he 1st day im looking forward to detention cos i can see her when i walked into the choir room, i saw her playing the piano. man, she looks really pretty and she was wearing this white dress(compared to sherry's tube top and mini skirt). for a moment she saw me and smiled at me. but damn it i didnt get to talk to her today cos the stupid teacher wanted me to help him sort out some assignments instead. Now im thinking of how to get myself in detention again and how im going to tell my friends that im going to choose her, but i really dont want to lose them. argh this is frustrating.

Your friends are total sacks of s**t!!!

You really like this girl a LOT!!! And you need their PERMISSION????

Some life advice, Den ... If you let other people lead your life for you, you will NEVER be your own man. Being popular and having cool friends is fine, as long as it's really YOU who is popular, not their idea of who you should be. I don't give a rat's ass whether Sherry is chio bu or not ... if the chubby choir girl is the one who melts your heart, go for it. Follow YOUR heart, not theirs!

Carl.

[justanothermic]

if you follow your friend's advice, which contradict your own, who are you really satisfying?


You always come first, my friend. They're not really your friends if they're that interested in the status of your love.

[Den667]

Okay guys ive decided that im going to choose her. and tomorrow in school ill tell my decision to my buddies, whether they accept it or not man. but i realise tt my detention ends tmr meaning that tmr's the only chance for me to talk to her. man, i dont usually get dumb struck like this, but what should i say to her? i mean we just talked a few times and im not sure if she'd be comfortable going out with me, given our diff race. any ideas guys? what drives me crazy is that she's diff from the chicks i dated before so i cant predict her reaction