gf had a fling...

[heartbroke]

i am in a very very complicated situation. i've found out that my gf of almost 3 yrs had a fling with this guy, her colleague. i only found out when they ended this thru checking the chat log. the guy is attached, but my girl lied that she had been cheated by her bf, that's me. she is...or rather was a very obedient, shy girl. this is the first time this thing happened. she told me that at the point of time, she was being "playful" and she still loves me. they started to get closer, holding hands, kissing for abt 3-4 days before they decided that it is very wrong, and ended it.

girls, pls tell me - what shd be my decision? of coz i still love her if not i won't be posting this. i decide that wateva u girls advised me will be my last decision. thanks.

[vashti]

All she did was kiss him? And for those of us who aren't computer literate, please tell us again in non-computer speak how you found out.

[heartbroke]

thanks for the reply...
pls pardon me as it just happened less than 12 hrs ago...and my mood is still foul. i confronted her. we had a talk. she told me that all they did was holding hand, and a french kiss. i did not believe it. was thinking wild so i called up that guy, to "interrogate". he was surprised as he found that my girl is actually attached and is living with me. he confirmed that all she said was true and they hv ended the "mistake".

i am really confuse now.

[Gigabitch]

Sounds like she's not as obedient as you thought.

I see no reason to ditch her, but I see no reason to trust her either. Things have changed between you two. You can't go back to the way you were, but maybe if you figure out what she was looking for in him that she wasn't getting from you, you'll be halfway toward a reconciliation.

[heartbroke]

Sounds like she's not as obedient as you thought.

I see no reason to ditch her, but I see no reason to trust her either. Things have changed between you two. You can't go back to the way you were, but maybe if you figure out what she was looking for in him that she wasn't getting from you, you'll be halfway toward a reconciliation.

u made me realised something with the "You can't go back to the way you were". i feel that relationships are like a glass. once there's crack line, it is impossible to make it flawless again. i don't understand this, wat exectly is a "fling". i admit that i "tie" her up by forbidden late night out with her frens, curfew. but it still happened.
pls enlighten me. wat are females thinking.

[Gigabitch]

Well, I don't know about all females, but I can guarantee that if anyone tried to forbid me from doing anything at all, I would either tell them outright that they were insane or just smile sweetly to their face and go behind their back and do exactly what it was they forbade me to do. Curfews are for children.

A fling could mean anything. It's a very loose term. I think the emotional betrayal here is as bad as anything physical that might have happened anyway. I would be heartbroken if my bf kissed somebody else- everything else after that would just be salt in the wound.

[heartbroke]

Well, I don't know about all females, but I can guarantee that if anyone tried to forbid me from doing anything at all, I would either tell them outright that they were insane or just smile sweetly to their face and go behind their back and do exactly what it was they forbade me to do. Curfews are for children.

A fling could mean anything. It's a very loose term. I think the emotional betrayal here is as bad as anything physical that might have happened anyway. I would be heartbroken if my bf kissed somebody else- everything else after that would just be salt in the wound.

i suppose me and her could save ourselves. and i think i will hv to make a decision to it. you are making me feeling better, Gigabitch, but wat will ur decision be if u r me, based on wat i've said.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, if it were ME, I would ditch her immediately. I would feel completely betrayed by her actions and it would poison the relationship.

[heartbroke]

Oh, if it were ME, I would ditch her immediately. I would feel completely betrayed by her actions and it would poison the relationship.

thanks Gigabitch...

[anachronistic]

if she did all that while you were together, it's not worth it. it's not worth it.

this is the thing i hate about humanity; so dishonest, hoodwinking, and afraid to be who we really are.

[heartbroke]

if she did all that while you were together, it's not worth it. it's not worth it.

this is the thing i hate about humanity; so dishonest, hoodwinking, and afraid to be who we really are.

thanks lilwing..

[vashti]

I am disturbed by the "obedient" statement and her being "forbidden" to do what she wants to do. It sounds like you have some big control issues, and she is rebelling.

[heartbroke]

I am disturbed by the "obedient" statement and her being "forbidden" to do what she wants to do. It sounds like you have some big control issues, and she is rebelling.

so can u tell me wat u gotta do if u were me?

[vashti]

You don't sound like the kind of guy who could forgive and forget. If that is so, then you should break off with her as she doesn't need to be punished for this the rest of her life (assuming she is genuinely sorry). If you think you COULD get over this, then I think you should spend some time exploring in what way you contributed to this scenario. If she is normally an "obedient" girl, then this probably didn't happen for no reason at all, especially after 3 years of good behavior.

[heartbroke]

You don't sound like the kind of guy who could forgive and forget. If that is so, then you should break off with her as she doesn't need to be punished for this the rest of her life (assuming she is genuinely sorry). If you think you COULD get over this, then I think you should spend some time exploring in what way you contributed to this scenario. If she is normally an "obedient" girl, then this probably didn't happen for no reason at all.

i could forgive and forget..and i want it. but i dun want to be called a dumb for that. i mean it takes 2 hands to clap. if she's willing to cherish it, i will work hard for it. but how shd i do it? i'm really dumb...