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Thread: I don't know what to think or feel anymore

  1. #1
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    I don't know what to think or feel anymore

    There was a girl I was interested in, I mean, really, really, interested in. This was last year and she was a good friend of mine. Some months went by, I asked her out, turns out she was going out with my best friend (and still is). Oh yeah, that hurt. So me, being an idiot, wallowed in self pity for quite some time. Eventually I seized hold of my emotions and forced myself out of that depressing pit I'd been in and decided I was just gonna stop looking for a girlfriend for awhile.

    Fast forward to a few months ago. Another friend of mine and I start talking more. Like, 3-4 hours a night online. I really feel comfortable around her and I know I like her more than I did the last one. I asked her to a dance which is in one week and she accepted so everything was going great. Guess what? An hour and a half ago, she told me she has a boyfriend. Oh yeah, that went over well. At first my brain just shut down. After that, I just got depressed and couldn't focus on crock. I was barely able to maintain a conversation with her tonight and that's never happened before. As this was online she doesnt know how much I was hurt. I actually dont know if she is even aware that I was. I have a way of hiding my emotions and as we spoke online it would be even harder for her to tell.

    Right now, I'm not feeling anything at all. I've been trying to keep my mind busy because I know if I don't then the floodgates will open. I just don't know what to do. Not ever telling her how I really feel and just ignoring the pain as best I can is all I can do I guess. Strange, I had been getting a weird vibe lately about her. I mean, I dreamed about her with a boyfriend about a week ago, and have been thinking about it, wondering if she really did have one ever since. Guess I was right. That's really the only warning I ever had as she doesnt talk about her love life with her male friends. She just said someone asked her if she was going out with him and she replied, "I don't know. I guess." That right there kinda makes me wonder if it'll even last. I highly doubt it.

  2. #2
    King Zarathu's Avatar
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    Gotta move on, man.

    I'm sort've in a similar situation at the moment. I like this chick (to an inane degree) and told her how I felt a while back. She didn't feel the same. We remained good friends for a while, and now I get the feeling she likes me now. It's ****ing with my head. I suggest moving on, because neither of them have feelings for you. It sucks, I know. It's good that you've been keeping your mind busy, but I haven't been able to do that now. I hate feeling this way, and I know you do too.

    You know what we need?


    We need a pair of those, and we need to move on.

  3. #3
    vashti's Avatar
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    She said "I guess" when asked if she is going out with someone? Are you sure they aren't just dating casually? If you like her, then ask her. If it isn't serious, you still have a shot. If it IS serious, then why did she accept a date invitation with you? And yeah, you shouldn't take her to a dance if she has a boyfriend.

    I think you should clarify the nature of these so-called relationships, and I think it is appropriate if she knows you are annoyed.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  4. #4
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    Yeah I don't think it's very serious. I highly doubt it with the kind of answer she gave.

    If you like her, then ask her.
    Ask her what? If it's casual? Ask her out?

    And yeah, you shouldn't take her to a dance if she has a boyfriend.
    I asked her about that. She said that she doesn't mind going with me, she just wanted me to know she had a boyfriend now.

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    You are missing the point darling! This isn't about whether or not she minds going with you when she has a boyfriend; this is about you minding that she is already taken. Why would you want to date someone who is already taken? You have a right to date available girls, and frankly, you should insist upon it.

    Again I say, find out about the nature of the relationship between this girl and the other boy.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  6. #6
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    You can't take this too personally. You also have to take fault for never making it obvious that you wanted something more from the relationship. You cannot expect someone to make it easier for you by making the choice themselves. If you feel an immediate connection, then you must make it known to whoever you feel the emotions towards.

    Understand that this is one of the many learning experience that will occur in the course of your life. There's much more disappointment to come, but don't let that dishearten you, because for all the things that disappointments, there will be many encouraging ones.

    Have hope,
    Borealis
    Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.

  7. #7
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    You kinda remind me of myself.

    I like your control over your emotions.

    Doesn't necessarily solve anything, but it gets ya by.

  8. #8
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    Yeah, having control over your emotions is awsome and all but when you cant hold them anymore then shit really hits the fan.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tribulation View Post
    Yeah, having control over your emotions is awsome and all but when you cant hold them anymore then shit really hits the fan.
    I agree with this.

    Cry over it, get pissed, go through everything you can. But while you do it, remember, you can't do it forever. Get it out of your system, and move on.

  10. #10
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    Meh, went to that dance last night. Of course her boyfriend was there so she decided to make it a double date. Sometimes I'm too nice for my own good and allowed it. Well, for the most part, I had fun talking and dancing with her (we only slow danced as that's all I knew how to do) but there was still a twinge of sadness the whole time. I can tell she likes me (as a friend at least) and she wasn't bothered when I told her that I wanted us to be more than friends, but after the dance, and this morning, I feel like shit. Can't hardly eat or I'm afraid I'll throw up.

  11. #11
    King Zarathu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tribulation View Post
    Meh, went to that dance last night. Of course her boyfriend was there so she decided to make it a double date. Sometimes I'm too nice for my own good and allowed it. Well, for the most part, I had fun talking and dancing with her (we only slow danced as that's all I knew how to do) but there was still a twinge of sadness the whole time. I can tell she likes me (as a friend at least) and she wasn't bothered when I told her that I wanted us to be more than friends, but after the dance, and this morning, I feel like shit. Can't hardly eat or I'm afraid I'll throw up.
    Quit being a damn pussy! She has a boyfriend now dude, and it isn't you. Take my advice, grow some balls, and drop the bitch. She's only dragging you along in case she needs a backup, and you're letting her.

  12. #12
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    Look mother****er, do you know her? Do you think you know her better than me? No you ****ing don't. I wasn't being dragged the **** along, I was the one who ****ing asked her before she had a goddamn boyfriend. Now, if all you're gonna do is tell me to grow some ****ing balls then stay the **** out of this topic dickweed. For the things I've done I already know I have them.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tribulation View Post
    Look mother****er, do you know her? Do you think you know her better than me? No you ****ing don't. I wasn't being dragged the **** along, I was the one who ****ing asked her before she had a goddamn boyfriend. Now, if all you're gonna do is tell me to grow some ****ing balls then stay the **** out of this topic dickweed. For the things I've done I already know I have them.
    Zath, while crude, makes a great point.

    That's really what she's doing, guy.

  14. #14
    King Zarathu's Avatar
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    Count: 6

    That's six times (total) that you've sounded intelligent thus far.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tribulation
    Yeah, having control over your emotions is awsome and all
    Get some.

  15. #15
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    Vulger language does not institute ignorance. I don't know where people get that. Those words are just words I choose to say and I say them more when people piss me off.

    Originally Posted by Tribulation
    Yeah, having control over your emotions is awsome and all
    Please, elaborate.

    Zath, while crude, makes a great point.

    That's really what she's doing, guy.
    Again, I know her far more than you. She's the kind of girl who can do without backup.

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