There was a girl I was interested in, I mean, really, really, interested in. This was last year and she was a good friend of mine. Some months went by, I asked her out, turns out she was going out with my best friend (and still is). Oh yeah, that hurt. So me, being an idiot, wallowed in self pity for quite some time. Eventually I seized hold of my emotions and forced myself out of that depressing pit I'd been in and decided I was just gonna stop looking for a girlfriend for awhile.
Fast forward to a few months ago. Another friend of mine and I start talking more. Like, 3-4 hours a night online. I really feel comfortable around her and I know I like her more than I did the last one. I asked her to a dance which is in one week and she accepted so everything was going great. Guess what? An hour and a half ago, she told me she has a boyfriend. Oh yeah, that went over well. At first my brain just shut down. After that, I just got depressed and couldn't focus on crock. I was barely able to maintain a conversation with her tonight and that's never happened before. As this was online she doesnt know how much I was hurt. I actually dont know if she is even aware that I was. I have a way of hiding my emotions and as we spoke online it would be even harder for her to tell.
Right now, I'm not feeling anything at all. I've been trying to keep my mind busy because I know if I don't then the floodgates will open. I just don't know what to do. Not ever telling her how I really feel and just ignoring the pain as best I can is all I can do I guess. Strange, I had been getting a weird vibe lately about her. I mean, I dreamed about her with a boyfriend about a week ago, and have been thinking about it, wondering if she really did have one ever since. Guess I was right. That's really the only warning I ever had as she doesnt talk about her love life with her male friends. She just said someone asked her if she was going out with him and she replied, "I don't know. I guess." That right there kinda makes me wonder if it'll even last. I highly doubt it.