This is my first post, I found this forum and thought I would post my question here.

Here is the scoop-

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married for 3, and have a wonderful 7 year old daughter who we both dearly love.

My wife knew I was a "player" when we got together, and has always assumed I cheated on her, and finally caught me last year, the first time I actually did.

We struggled for 3 weeks, and then she she she loved me, did not want to ever lose me, and we worked it out. I ahve been faithful ever since, and never ever would betray her again.

However during the past year, afraid she would do the same to me, I ahve smothered her, and finally about a month ago, she said that was it, she had lost all feelings towards me, didnt love me anymore, and left for her friends house for a few days. She came back home, and I immediately left for a business trip. While I was gone I did not call her, but she started calling me instead, becoming more frequent each day.

When I got home she acted so thrilled, but still would not touch me, and all seemed to be on the right course, when she dropped the bomb that she wanted to live as roomates , for financial reasons, and for the kids, and for me to get help with my controlling nature.

We agreed to six months- which is unrealistic financially, and moved forward. the next week things got better, we would laugh, joke, lay in bed and look at the web, and even she listed herself as married to me on myspace and facebook, even posting pictures of me, and talking as if we were going to be together forever...still no touching.

Well last sunday for the first time we all went out to eat as a family, and she was in a great mood, but I wasnt I am extremely depressed over this, and she got angry at me and we ahvent talked really much since then.

She said I annoy her, I cant even talk to her without her getting angry, and we are set to go to dinner thursday night with my boss and his wife, and she is looking forward to it.

However last night she told me it was over for now, though we sleep in the same bed, and and said while we are getting along, she has not had "loving" feelings towards me for a long time.

But yet she still calls me 2-3 times a day, but when she gets home she ignores us and goes to her room and hangs out on the web or watches TV.

She tells me she knows I will not be patient enough, and that always before when things like this happend, she would just give in and be miserable, and is fine and happy just the way things are right now.

I am the only man she has ever been with, or even dated, and I have been seeing counselling for my smothering nature and trying my best to leave her alone, though it plauges me every waking minute...I break down and end up calling her and she gets mad....

We don't even talk like we did a week ago, just a few seconds on the phone here and there, she always finds a reason to get off the hone.

I asked her to come with me to counselling on friday, and she said she might have to pick up another shift or something, and I have not asked again...she did say last night she would go to counselling with me before calling it quits, but also said it would do no good, and she does not want to give me chance....she does not wear her wedding band while I still do.

Financially we cannot split without going bankrupt, we are up to our ears in debt, and she knows what it will do to our daughter and my son, who we fought to get custody over and won last year...she was a major pusher for that.

I do not know whether to back off, and give her time, that she might come around, or if I should give up, move out with a friend, but still support her financially.

I feel like a prisoner in my own home, and miserable every waking minute- I told her this, and she said, well you made me miserable for 10 years.

I think she was beginning to open up last sunday, and then I shut her down by acting morose- if I had only been cheerful then things would be much better- she will call and chat, she did 3 times today, but I think she is just holding on for the kids and security.

I need a womens point of view here...help!

Lost Chris