Am I wasting my time or asking for too much? Really need male perspective...

[jsb23]

My bf and I have been dating for two years. I am two years older than him (26) and coming into this relationship, I was upfront and honest about what I was looking for. I told him that I was looking for someone to possibly settle down with and he said he felt the same way. I graduated from college recently, and he's still attending with 1.5 yrs to go. We both live at home, due to the fact that campus is incredibly close to our houses it was pointless to move away, and we thought it would be a smart move so that we could save money for our future. I work and intern, and he works and goes to school part-time. I see him once a week, for about five to six hours.

He says that he does not have much free time, yet lately he's been hanging out more and more with his friends ( and does not invite me). I'm not worried about what he's doing, but I'm bothered that he's able to somehow make free time for them but not for me. And when he is around me, he falls asleep or gets sick. I understand that every relationship has their ups and downs, but it always seem like I get the down part. I expressed my desire to move forward with our relationship and try to move in together at least, that way we could see each other more often. But he says he can't afford it. If I ask him, "how about we go to a nice restaurant and movie?" again, he says he can't afford it.

When I do see him, we don't go out. He wants to stay in and watch movies. But majority of the time, I'm watching the movie by myself because he's sleeping. The once I week that we do see each other, there is little to no intimacy. I feel like I'm not being treated fairly. He won't settle down, but yet we aren't doing the things that a young, childless couple with no responsibilities are doing. I would just like for him to put more of an effort to see me more often while I wait for him to finish school. I would be happy waiting if we were at least having fun. At this point, I'm not sure what to do.

[Highline]

It doesn't sound to me like you are getting what you need at all. Is he depressed? Maybe see if he is willing to talk about this and maybe get some help. You never know. Otherwise he may be taking the comfort of being with you for granted. Are you getting anything positive out of these once a week hang outs? What's keeping you around? Maybe try not being available for this visit, I know it's all you've got at the moment but it might be time to stir things up. You might just see that he does value your time together and wake up. Two years is a long time.. I'd try everything I could to see what's wrong with the situation first.... unless what you said is true... If your wanting to settle down and get married start a family I don't think he sounds like he is ready for that. It might be a hard thing to face but the sooner you do.. the sooner you will meet someone who is ready to do those things you mentioned.

[surfhb]

Hes still in school so hes no where near ready for marriage or family. What are you in a hurry for? I say date other men. If you want a guy to settle down with, you need to be looking in the 30 - 35 range. Besides....us guys in our 30s are better at sex and make more $$

[James Banes]

Dating a woman who lives so close can be tough. If you ever want out of the relationship or space, you practically have nowhere to go.

Perhaps yer man just wants space.

[bulrush]

Maybe he needs a change of pace and will eventually drift back to you. Some guys like variety. Maybe his buddies do something more interesting (jello wrestling?) than you and he watching movies.

(Please do not jello wrestle on a hard tile floor.)