Is it time to quit?

[StrawberryHeart]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years now, but I am getting frustrated lately and don't know if it's for valid reasons...

I've been feeling like he has lost interest in me and just has higher priorities in life other than me. We are both in college right now and he is very motivated in school and advancing his career opportunities which I completely support and am very proud of him for. But we only hang out one night a week and he doesn't show me that he is thinking about me during the day or does sweet things for me anymore like sending random text messages just telling me that he loves me.

Does it ever cross the line in a relationship when he has pushed me aside too much for his own goals? He even flat out tells me that his school and goals will always come before I do. Is this selfish of him, or admirable?

I've told him many times how I feel-that I feel like I'm not as important to him anymore. His response is that he will not change because he is who he is, and if I don't like it that I should break up with him.

Just last night, we talked more about this over the phone. I reminded him that he used to always talk about getting married and how perfect it would be. (yes, we are young and never planned on doing it soon, so don't worry!) But now all he ever does is tell me his fears about our future together-that I will always be controlling him and that he wants to take vacations by himself!

I just don't know what to do...after the phone call last night, I kind of feel like breaking up, but I don't want to. I still love him and want it to work out. On our one year anniversary, he even gave me a promise ring. We've been together for two years and I can't imagine my life without him.

Please help, I know I have quite a few questions throughout the message, any and all suggestions are appreciated.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, boy. You've got some problems that need immediate attention.

The good news is it sounds like you've got a pretty sweet guy who is very honest with you.

The bad news is, you're strangling him.

You're expecting, nay, demanding too much from a college relationship. I think it is admirable that he's putting his career first at this point in his life. That's how it's supposed to be, and you should be doing the same. Why aren't you? That's the real issue, here.

Breaking up with him isn't going to solve any of this. It will just happen again with the next guy, or what's worse, you may actually find someone who thinks the sun shines out your ass and you'll find out why that's not everything it's cracked up to be either (pun totally intended).

You need to focus on you. You should be able to walk side-by-side with the man you love into your future together, and it sounds more like you don't want to go anywhere, just stand in the middle of the road with him staring at you.

[Illusional]

hrmm.... well he's at a very important point at his life which would explain why he is so distant. maye he just needs a break and needs some time for himself and his school work.

more so though, i would think that anyone can balance their life. if he's not able to balance school and a girl, how will he balance work and a family later??

love will only take you so far, effort makes up for the rest.

raverboy

[Only-virgins]

Oh, boy. You've got some problems that need immediate attention.

The good news is it sounds like you've got a pretty sweet guy who is very honest with you.

The bad news is, you're strangling him.

You're expecting, nay, demanding too much from a college relationship. I think it is admirable that he's putting his career first at this point in his life. That's how it's supposed to be, and you should be doing the same. Why aren't you? That's the real issue, here.

Breaking up with him isn't going to solve any of this. It will just happen again with the next guy, or what's worse, you may actually find someone who thinks the sun shines out your ass and you'll find out why that's not everything it's cracked up to be either (pun totally intended).

You need to focus on you. You should be able to walk side-by-side with the man you love into your future together, and it sounds more like you don't want to go anywhere, just stand in the middle of the road with him staring at you.

Meh, nothing else but this should be posted.

[wxyz00]

Your both growing... He's reaching for the future while your clinging to the past... he wants to explore and experiment.. while you want comfort and cuddles...

As Giga said... you need to focus on YOU! Both of you have to grow as individuals and willingly walk together even if the paths are different (temporarily).

[vashti]

Why would anyone want a guy who WASN'T focused on his future? How far in life do you imagine he will get if he devotes all his time to worshipping you? You need to get busy with your own goals, which should be separate from him.