How to Get Over A Difficult Breakup

[invisiblelegend]

Step 1
Let It All Out.
Bottling up your feelings is not a good idea. Yell, scream, cry, or even break a few dishes. Do whatever it takes to get those emotions out. Believe it or not, one day soon you will wake up and realize that you just don’t feel like crying over this anymore and each day thereafter you will start to feel a little better.

Step 2
Write it all in a Journal.

Write down all of your feelings in a journal. This is another great way to get all of those negative emotions out of your system. Be sure to write down all the things about the relationship that you didn’t like. Arguments you may have had, times the other person wasn’t there for you. This is important because sometimes people tend to remember only the good times during a break-up and forget to remember the relationship as it really was.

Step 3
Exercise.

Exercise can not only help you get in better shape and improve your self esteem, but it is also a great stress reliever. Go for a walk or a run each evening after work. Or think about joining a local gym if you find the need to get out of the house.

Step 4

Get rid of all things that visually remind you of that person.

It is time to pack a box. Pack up everything that reminds you of that person. If you have their clothes in your house, their cds, books, personal hygiene items or even gifts they gave you (unless it is a picture frame or something you can alter so that you do not think of them when you see it).

Even if you are not ready to give these items back to the person yet, it is time to get it out of your range of sight. It will be a lot harder keeping your mind off of them if every time you open your medicine cabinet you see their perfume, cologne or personal items there.

Put the box in the basement, the attic, a closet; anywhere you will not see it.

Do your best not to throw it out because, firstly, the person either might want some of those items back, or secondly, one day you might want to see those items again after you have moved on and it’s no longer painful to look at them.
5.
Step 5

Redecorate.

If where you live reminds you of that person, it is time to redecorate. Change wall colors, pillows, comforters, or move some furniture around. Buy yourself some live plants, scented candles, maybe a small tabletop water fountain. Make your environment feel new and peaceful at the same time. Someplace you look forward to coming home to again. Redecorating is also a great way to keep you distracted and focused on your new future.
6.
Step 6

Call Your Friends

Get together with your friends for some distraction. Go for away to a casino for the weekend, or a spa, a ski weekend, or even a quick tropical getaway weekend.

If you can not afford anything that extravagant, then at least go to a movie, shopping or stay at a friends for the weekend simply hanging out and relaxing.

Do not, however, spend hours at the bar going over the relationship detail for detail. You are allowed to have one or two crying/drinking jags with your friends after the initial shock, but then it is time to refocus on your friends’ lives and focusing on where you want to be going to from here. Your friends will appreciate it as well.

If you have lost touch with a lot of your friends while you were in the relationship, now is the time to start getting back in touch with them. Start by sending a few quick emails, text messages or join a social network like Facebook to start checking in with even older friends again on a daily basis. It is a great way to reconnect and a great way to spend nights at home talking over old, fun times instead of focusing on being upset about the breakup.
7.
Step 7

Make New Friends.

There are online forums that cover just about any subject under the sun. Go find a couple where people talk about things that interest you and develop some new relationships. This is another great way to keep yourself busy by interacting with others so you do not have time to wallow.
8.
Step 8

Volunteer.

There is no better way to distract yourself than to put your focus on helping someone else. Not only can you meet some great people, but you can also feel better about yourself knowing you are helping someone in need.
9.
Step 9

Start a New Hobby

Think about things you have always wanted to try but never had the chance to before. Learn to paint or sculpt, take a photography or cooking class. This is another great way to meet new people, keep yourself distracted and improve yourself all at the same time. Plus, who knows where it can lead? You might even be able to make a new career out of it.
10.
Step 10

Get a Pet.

If you live alone, half of what you might be suffering is just plain loneliness. This is especially true if you and your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend lived together. Getting a new pet is an excellent way to keep you happy and distracted. It is also great having someone to keep you company and who can’t wait to see you every night. The best pets would be a dog or a cat; however if you live in an apartment, a bird you can teach how to talk or even a hamster will make the place seem less empty.

[utopianhercules]

Great tips. I didn't understand why I need to break things here, but all that you say is bang-on.

Instead of starting just a hobby which doesn't require you to flex yourself much, I 'd highly recommend starting a part-time business. This way, you will be so busy and involved that you will have absolutely no time to do anything else.

I would also recommend you to travel. Go some place far away for a while. Go to South East Asia, Europe, wherever. Not only will you get to travel, you will also get to meet new people, learn, live life tough and change completely.

[clacarica101]

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[clacarica101]

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[rabuford]

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[therunningman86]

Good post. Some good advice here.

I can't stress enough how important it is to "cut ties" with your ex. She dumped me and everytime I saw anything connected to her, photos etc it set me back alot. Cutting ties allowed me to move on with my life. I'm so glad I figured that out

[Dr.LoveDoctor]

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[tyler_james]

Great advice.

One of the things I did with the protagonist in my graphic novel "Over" was to make sure he did all the wrong things at first. Definitely made for more comedy.

But in reality, break ups are a time when you get stretched a bit as a human being. Though tough, it's also a time to grow as a person.

The tips above are all good ways to turn what seems like a great negative into a positive.