hurting

[jack68]

what do i ay , long story, right i was friends with a girl just friends, then i met J, J was everything i was missing in my life, she was and still is perfect, we fell for each other, big time, she moved in, and then it started, i told my friend all about J and us =moving in together, and then my friend started acting very funny, she started texting and calling me all the time, saying she wanted to be with me, i had never given her any indication i wanted a relationship with her,
then i asked J to marry me and she said yes, i was so happy. i told this so called friend and she immeadiately started threatening to hurt both me and J physically, i told her to leave us aone and she became more persistant, more threatening, she started saying that she would tell J we were having an affair, then i became scared, i would never cheat on J, i couldnt shes the world to me, but by this point i had made the mistake of not telling J what was happening, and i was terrified if i did this woman would then tell her a pack of lies and it would be over between us, and thats where i went wong, i didnt tell J becasue i thought i could deal with it and it would just go away, i was so wrong, it just went on and on, more and more texts and calls every day, she would not stop, I still kept it from J becasue this friend was starting to threaten her more and more, if i didnt answer she would hurt J and me, if i didnt answer she was going to desrtroy my life. i was terrified, i had been in a violently abusive relationship before and i think thats why i was being so easily controlled by this woman, I didnt know what to do, i just wanted her to leave me and J alone to be happy,
i became more desperate for it to stop, i tried everything to stop it, i even went to see this so called friend., to ask her to stop, she didnt,
then yes J found a text, we talked and i eventually told her everything, i told her how scared i was of loosing her, told her what had happened, even the meeting, nothing ever happened between me and this other woman, J even had her number to call or text, and she did, they exchanged texts, i dont know what was said in them, but obviously enough. J and I married in aug, this year about two weeks ago today, its all i ever wanted, but now she says it means nothing, and she does not want me in her life, i dont blame her for feeling this way, i know i should have told her what was happenoing, i know its my fault, but she is pregnant, and says thats the only reason that she married me, so she was not alone with a baby, this is tearing me apart, as i do love J so much, but she does not believe when i say nothing ever happened, now i dont know what to do or where to turn, i have cut myself off from all my friends, and i have no one to talk to. me and juli are still together but there is nothing between us, no contact physically, i dont mean sex, just those little touches and kisses, that say your in love, i dont blame her but im very sensitive, bad thing obviously and i wish i wasnt. did i do the wrong this not telling her earlier, i know i did, but i was only trying to protect us. has anyone else had a similar experience? help me please.

[starbuck]

Very weird story. Did you think about calling the cops on this other woman? She was basically threatening and harrassing you enough to warrant it I think.

Is there something here you're not telling us? Did you have a relationship with this friend of yours (the crazy one)? There are alot of elements in this story that don't make sense to me.

[Yacker]

That friend of yours sounds really really crazy. There must have been something you did with her to get her to start doing this. Did you have sex with her? Did you treat her differently for a while, obviously she thought she was going to have a relationship with you. Were you the only person she contacted in her life? Crazy.

[Cain]

Also, you made it known that you were going to call her 'J' and then towards the end you called her Juli.

[jack68]

no i swear i did nothing to or with that girl, and sorry i got upset while writting and gave her name. no it does not make sense to me either, i am telling the truth nothing ever happened between u. why would i be engaged to someone and then cheat on them, and no there was nothing before j either i was single for a couple of years, as my previous relationships ended in my partners cheating on me, thats why i would never do it to someone else. i did contact the police they said, she would just claim it was not her and no longer had the phone. why doent it make sense to you?

[Cain]

It doesn't make sense because it'd extremely odd that a friend that you had no romantic ties to and that you didn't lead on would suddenly flip out when you entered into another relationship. Obviously, the trust between you and J isn't there or else J wouldn't believe what the other woman is saying.

[starbuck]

no i swear i did nothing to or with that girl, and sorry i got upset while writting and gave her name. no it does not make sense to me either, i am telling the truth nothing ever happened between u. why would i be engaged to someone and then cheat on them, and no there was nothing before j either i was single for a couple of years, as my previous relationships ended in my partners cheating on me, thats why i would never do it to someone else. i did contact the police they said, she would just claim it was not her and no longer had the phone. why doent it make sense to you?

There are just alot of things in the story that don't add up. Like why you didn't tell her about your friend in the first place? If you had nothing to hide, why would you be so afraid of what this friend had to say?

And then the texting between J and your crazy friend is strange. Why did J so easily believe what this woman said? I believe that a woman could go apeshit crazy for no reason...odd, yes, but it could happen. But then why would the wife take the crazy woman's side over the husband's?

I just feel like we're not getting the whole story.

[ecojeanne]

its kinda weird but it seems like u wrote on this forum for ur wife's benefit to try to convince her...maybe i'm wrong...anyway wow what a story, u need to take out a restraining order on this other woman (friend!) show all the text messages to the police...if u still have them...if all else fails trick the woman into admitting what she has done in a text message or recorded phone call...thats all i can suggest that might redeem ur wifes faith in u.