Am I reading too much into this.....

[MissyB]

Hi guys, Just after some unbiased advised.

I met my boyfriend now boyfriend in January 2011. We decided to end what we had in April 2012 but got back in contact in July 2012 and have been dating since.

In September 2012 we went to the cinema and he went to get some food and left me with his ipad. I was watching tv on it when a message from a female came up. I had seen this name on his iphone previously but thought nothing of it. The message that popped up was innocent but women's intuition and all that. So I looked at the message history.

She is a work colleague and he started messaging her when we split. Hes in IT so his work phone is linked to his mobile account. Early on he asked her to go to the cinema but she didn't want to go. Messages after that were arranging to meet for lunch int he canteen but there were couple flirty ones in there.

He came back I asked him about her and if he was attracted to her did he think it was appropriate always lunching with her and being in that much contact with her. He said it was innocent, she has a boyfriend etc... I said I wasn't entirely comfortable with him spending so much time with her but they work in the same company which is large but he needs to decide what is appropriate and not.
I asked him maybe a month or so later if he still has as frequent contact with her and he said not really.

Just yesterday his at mine and his phone is open.... yes I did the ultimate sin I looked specifically for her.

Most of the messages are about work but initiate by both they lunch together regularly i.e meet you on the ground floor are you lunching now nor mal things

I then see one message quite recently where she has asked if he has had lunch today and he says yes. She sends lots of angry faces and he asks whats up. She says she needs a distraction and she was hoping to do that with his sexy eyes and lips. He didn't respond. When he doesn#t respond she says 'cat got ya toungue? and he just sends a straight face emoticon back.

I also see he meets her for a drink after work this Thursday for about an hour.

When he comes back I ask him if he has initiated any lunch dates or been messaging her he says no. I ask if he will unlock his phone and show me his message list. He does but deletes it before he gives it to me. I tell him he has deleted he looks me in my face and lies and say no he doesn't really message her.

This is the part that hurts the most, not the messages the deceitfulness of him deleting it and lying to my face. He then gets made and says you obviously want to find something and are looking for something. When we calm down he admits he deleted it. I asked him why and he says I would read into it and what he knows is Innocent he thinks I will read into.

My point is why delete it and lie. I know he doesn't know I saw it but it hurts he tried to cover it up. Can I trust someone who does that. That's more to it about the way he is but that is the summary. It also doesn't help that my best mate got divorced because her husband cheated with a colleague lol

Would you trust someone who does that, is it innocent?

[Chronicle113]

I wouldn't read too much into it. A lot of guys have this conflicted problem. Yes, he is deceitful in some ways and the trust issue is there. If it's a delicate situation that you can't handle, then I would say try to move on. As easy as I may said it and at the same time how hard it is for to do, men in some ways, have a way of finding out who we truly care and love for once that person is gone. Sad, but true. At this time, he is conflicting over himself whether who he wants to be with. Just give him time. Creating hasty actions and pressure have a way creating negative results. I would say concentrate on your own happiness. If this situation has a way of blocking what you want out of life, then this is not someone that you want to be with.

[Fruitsss]

and my point is why do u even go back if its over, and its to messy and to much childish stuff.

leave him and get serious with a grown men.
stop wasting time on a childish dude that doesnt respect u and not serious with u.

he likes what he do so he will not stop it for u.