broken and confused

[Romeo200818]

I just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, who i wanted to marry for a long time. she also wanted to. She thinks that everytime we fight its the end of the world and should break up. This was the fourth break up in the last year and its taken its toll. I decided to move on. but now she comes back saying she thought i would fight back for her and i let the break up happen. and she was persuaded by her friends to break up with me and she feels like dirt for it. Weve talked about this everytime we get back together but she keeps running away when things get rough, dont know what to do right now...

[confusedintx]

you both have communication problems. If things get heated enough someone should leave until things calm down and are both able to talk. Are you fighting fairly? Do you bring up things that really don't matter one bit in the big picture of things(or her). Your relationship is between you and her, not you her and her friends. Women talk to their friends to get out some steam and should just remain an open ear not advice. If you really love her and her you work things out and never let things linger to no end. Take your serious conversations to a public place so that you both are minding you anger and keep them in check. Maybe then she may not be ready for a fully trusting relationship and her past may be playing a roll. Not that you deserve it but we all bring past relationship hangups that destroy the current relationship we're in. If you want to marry this one go get some couple's counseling and work through it. Relationships aren't easy and require alot of work to keep them healthy and honest. Good luck.

[Romeo200818]

yes we have terrible communication problems and ive tried to work on that. last time we got in a fight about me looking through her "open" email account and finding a convo with a guy she turned it around on me. she wanted space and didnt talk to me (just her girlfriends -who tell her to break up with me). and the next thing i hear from her she wants to break up cuz of all the bad times. In fights i realize she gets angry and needs space but i cant give her days worth of space every time. and she does bring up things that dont matter (hurtful things). i dont bring early relationships into it. Yesterday she was really upset and needed me to pull her out and i feel like shes using me cuz today i got upset about the last convo and tried to talk to her. now shes being unfair and not talking to me and its making me very angry. i know i need to give her space but shes so selfish

[carl1222]

yes we have terrible communication problems and ive tried to work on that. last time we got in a fight about me looking through her "open" email account and finding a convo with a guy she turned it around on me. she wanted space and didnt talk to me (just her girlfriends -who tell her to break up with me). and the next thing i hear from her she wants to break up cuz of all the bad times. In fights i realize she gets angry and needs space but i cant give her days worth of space every time. and she does bring up things that dont matter (hurtful things). i dont bring early relationships into it. Yesterday she was really upset and needed me to pull her out and i feel like shes using me cuz today i got upset about the last convo and tried to talk to her. now shes being unfair and not talking to me and its making me very angry. i know i need to give her space but shes so selfish

What is this freaking space bulls**t? Space for what? 4 breakups in a year are 3 too many. What was the nature of her convo with this guy?

Carl.

[Romeo200818]

not space i guess just dont talk to her anymore, i was fine until she came to me crying the other day but she said some things that confused me and i asked about them and she didnt know what to tell me.. the nature wasnt that bad on her part, but she met him and hes like a total dork saying crap like 'i dont wanna get in the middle of anyhting, but i would just like to get to know you more' but she wasnt saying anything too bad back, just enabling him. so i just asked her about it and she turned it all around on me sayin i dig through her things...

[BodomsChild89]

hmm..sounds like you're basically in the same situation I'm in....I say ask yourself..were there more good times or bad times in the relationship? think back on it all, would you want to live with that the rest of your life? or would you rather move on and hope to find someone who you would rather be with for the rest of your life?

[confusedintx]

Dump her ass quick! The bitch is crazy and playing around on your emotions. Look she wants to have her cake and eat it to. She has mentally detatched from you and buying time to see just how much shit she can get away with. Trust me, I'm a women and have tried to play all these mulipitive games as her, when I was 20. She is exactly what you need if you love being mentally abused, it ruins you and all the future possible real relationships that are healthy. Get out of it now! We girls alway wonder why men can be such assholes, girls like her ruin good men like you. I say RUN RUN RUN..........RUN RUN AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE NOW!!!!! You'll be surprised, alot of women would love to have what she so stupidly threw away. You should "thank" her and you know now what to not find in a person.

[Romeo200818]

yea i know that would be a good idea, i guess im just wishing that it wouldnt be like this. but i know shell be fine after college, but i dunno if i can wait that long. I am getting tired of hurting and it gets easier everytime we break up (not a good sign). its just that my heart and my head are playing tug of war. i love her so much and would do anyhting for her. i just wish so bad she could do the same or give me a reason why she cant give me that. She tells me she feels like shit and is all at fault and know she needs to change. and it gives me more hope, so its hard for me to completely get rid ofher right now, maybe i'll move through it slowly. its just so hard cuz we are so good when we arent fighting...

[TeeDub]

Seems like there is a recurring pattern in your relationship that gets triggered by some type of event, emotion or situation.

These patterns are very common in relationships.

This is why the simple use of a particular word or tone that brings back a memory of a past argument can stir up a new one by changing the mood.

[Mish]

I just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, who i wanted to marry for a long time. she also wanted to. She thinks that everytime we fight its the end of the world and should break up. This was the fourth break up in the last year and its taken its toll. I decided to move on. but now she comes back saying she thought i would fight back for her and i let the break up happen. and she was persuaded by her friends to break up with me and she feels like dirt for it. Weve talked about this everytime we get back together but she keeps running away when things get rough, dont know what to do right now...

Move on... It's better sooner rather than later

[nitroy2k]

damm they always cheat online ... grrrrrrrrrrr ... talk to her .. make pause for 1-2 weaks .. if you still want her go get her if not .. **** one of thoes bitches that said brake up to her