She Feels "Guilty and Conclicted". Please help!

[TeaForTwo]

Hi Ladies. I have a unique situation going on and would really appreciate some great advice:

Here is what's happening:

About a year and a half ago I met an amazing woman at the pool. And I too am a really fun cool great guy. We looked in to each others eyes and it was instant magic. We told each other then and there that we were both married with families, but that didn't seem to matter. We exchanged email addresses and immediately began to communicate. We have since gotten to know each other really well and are great friends. We meet when we can to work out, have dinner & drinks, do fun stuff, or just hang out. We have so much in common its just incredible! Our chemistry is surreal! We meet and sometimes kiss & cuddle, give each other great back rubs, or just hug for an hour. In all this time, we have not had sex. It is by both our wishes, as we just don't want to do that now. We both admit that we would like to, but just don't feel its right at this time, so far. Its really hard sometimes to resist after a glass or two of wine by the fire for sure.

Recently, we had a spat and didn't communicate for a month. That didn't last long, as we could not keep away from each other. She makes me feel so happy and relaxed, and she tells me that I "am always a great time". It feels great, and sometimes scares me. I think it scares her too. When I begin to pull away, she intuitively reaches for me. And vice versa.

A little background for context: her hubs is an alcoholic, and her kids are now in college. My wife is a cool hearted person, and we have not had sex in many years. Though I offer hugs, I never get any back. I am in a sexless and loveless marriage. We have gone to therapy, it made life at home easier, but didn't solve the problem. I have a son to who I am a great dad. We have an awesome relationship, and he keeps me engaged at home accordingly. He is my world for sure!

So as you can read, we are both really great people, both stuck in unfulfilling relationships. Its a bummer for both of us, for sure.

Recently we talked and she said "I feel so conflicted and guilty about you". I told her I don't want to be a source of guilt or conflict in her life, and I'll leave her alone if that makes it better for her, hence showing empathy for her. She just smiled and said no. What does she mean when she says that? How can I help her though this, if I can?

I would appreciate non judgmental responses from other members who can share some great insight as to what happening here. Or perhaps some advice some someone who has faced this kind of relationship themselves, and share how they worked though it. That would be great and really appreciated. Thanks!

TFT

[Wakeup]

Well, I'm sorry but here comes some judgement with my advice. WTF are you two not getting divorces from your perspective unfulfilling, dysfunctional, sick, marriages?

You're both in need of therapy with a good psychiatrist that works with the dysfunctional codependent personality... that would be you and your emotional affair partner.

You want to know how to make her feel less guilty and conflicted. Suggest she dump the alchy and that you'll be leaving the frigid bitch you call a wife. (You can still be a good dad to your son... you don't have to sit on the couch in the same house as his mother to do that.) so that you can be together in your own private romantic dysfunction.

Foolish, foolish people.