"You are never gona be happy."

[Graham Berkeley]

Went shopping this evening and spoiled myself with a couple new jackets. Showed em to my roomates and invited them to the party/club I was invited to this weekend that kinda precipitated the mini shopping spree...

They turned down the invitation then went on to mini lecture about why I was "changing" my dressing style to impress the people at this party. The party will be filled with rich Persian types and frankly I got a taste for kabob. Something about Persian women's high self esteem and no baggage is outrageously attractive to me. They went on to lecture me about the string of women I've been dating and almost said straight off they think I am doing something wrong by NOT settling for some one more like a house wife. They know my relationship history since my 5 year marriage back in my early 20's ended and said words to convey that they think I aim higher on the attractive/out going girl types because I am perusing something in my own head...

I'm confused because it doesn't feel like I am doing anything wrong but don't like the looks and "advice" I am getting from my peers.
"Just relax Graham. You need to find a more 'grounded girl'."
"Notice how each of your relationships get shorter and harder to get over the hotter and more out going the girl is."
"I think you are going through a phase where you are chasing an idea."

The honest truth is I don't want to be a player. I just want to find Mrs. Right and I DON'T believe Mrs. Right works at a coffee shop, day care, or grocery store... I want someone spontaneous and loving and fun and artistically creative and being payed good money for it. Someone with self esteem and minimal baggage who is filled with spirit...

[Mish]

I think that the key to figuring out what kind of girl is best suited for you is knowing yourself. You need to know what kind of a person you are from the inside out. You need to know what kind of people you work best with when you work with them. Only once you know yourself sufficiently you will be able to realize what type of a woman will best compliment you. You will really have to look outside of the artificially constructed criteria like job title and earning power on this one. The girl who's right for you might be working anywhere and getting paid anything.

The Persian girls may be telling you to look for a grounded girl because it's in their culture, but unless that type of girl really compliments you their advice is useless.

[misombra]

if you want something in another person i would try getting those things for yourself first. you can never trust someone else to be everything you want them to be.

[Gigabitch]

What do you think a woman with high self esteem and little baggage, yet filled with spirit is looking for? Is it you, wearing a new jacket?

Your roomies are seeing the same thing I'm seeing- an entirely dissatisfied person with ever narrowing criteria for that elusive woman who is going to make everything right in his life. I agree with them. Keep going the way you're going and you will never be happy.

[Graham Berkeley]

I'm not looking for a woman to make everything alright in my life. My life minus the woman is pretty good its just VERY lonely.

So you are saying I should settle?

[girl68]

The bottom line is you think you know where you'd like to find mrs. right but the reality is that you don't. How can you say that a fun loving gal with high self esteem doesn't work at a coffee shop or daycare?

I might argue that little miss coffee shop gal is very fun loving. she enjoys chatting, is friendly to randoms and knows how to communicate. this also usually goes hand in hand with self confidence.

Or how about a day care worker? She's got to be VERY fun loving, out going, engergenic! Hello, she works with kids for heavens' sake!

My point is only that you're ruling out so much just because you think you know... when I doubt you do. Don't settle, just don't rule out things "just 'cause" you mustered up some weird reason in your head.

[Graham Berkeley]

There is a reason why someone works at a coffee shop or grocery store. THATS what I want to avoid.

[sookie6]

There is a reason why someone works at a coffee shop or grocery store. THATS what I want to avoid.

Please explain...

[Gigabitch]

Graham, if you were dating 35-year-olds, I could see nixing the baristas. Girls your age are in grad school or just starting out in their careers. What they do to pay the bills is not necessarily a reflection of their degree of personal ambition. I think you're limiting your choices unnecessarily.

[girl68]

There is a reason why someone works at a coffee shop or grocery store. THATS what I want to avoid.

Yeah, why? Do you think you're better than the folk who work at those sorts of place? I'll have you know the job might be fantastic, the perks great, the pay not bad, the co-workers down to earth.

I'm getting the very same impression as your friends I'm afraid.

[Asip4u]

My coffee shop job brought me dates, great friends and much much more. One of our stores had to shut down so i lost the job but man some of the best moments came thanks to that job.

[QueenofCorona]

There is a reason why someone works at a coffee shop or grocery store. THATS what I want to avoid.

I'm sure "girls like that" want to avoid an uppity prick like you as well. Its a win-win situation.

I actually hope you find what you are looking for but I forsee you being a lonely old man with your attitude/outlook on women. More power to ya though.

[Gigabitch]

I'm a designer and I'm surrounded by other designers. Believe me when I say you might be much better off with someone who works in the bakery at Whole Foods.

I think you're looking for an accessory, Graham. Arm candy. A high-status girlfriend. I don't see that actually making you happy in the long run, I just see it bringing drama into your life.

[sookie6]

There was someone like you on the forum not long ago.
He was questioning whether he should go out with a girl despite her working at Mc Donalds..

He liked her, was attracted to her but her job bothered him...

Just like this particular guy I think you are wasting our time on here...sorry guys I should say my time...I can't speak on behalf of my fellow LF members...
But really your whole attitude stinks so much that I am certain now that you will never be happy in love and I don't care.

[mrz16]

Bruv stop holding expectations on people because of their circumstances. Someone isnt an a hole just because they work in a cafe or a Mcdonalds. And dont look too hard, who knows you've probably already met Mrs. Right.