BInge drinking for 4 days now

[everybodybutme]

bf broke up with me 4 days ago. the day before he broke up with me, we were hanging out and having fun, just a happy couple. the next day he texted me he cant be with me anymore. he said, "i love u. so much vince,but there'sno assurance that we're gonna be together from one week to another. id rather end this now without having a fight with u., i will miss u and i hope of the same for u. please don'ttry to hate me, i want to have u in my life, period!"

ive been binge drinking, day and night, just overwhelmed dunno what to do. I asked him why he canst be with me, he couldnt give me a straight answer. he kept on telling me he loves me. but he cant give me any reason why he cant be with me. i dont even know if he WANTS to be with me.

Ive so many questions to ask him, like if there's a third party, etc.

but i can't ask him, even though i want to because i told him the last time i saw him 3 days ago, before i left his place that if he can think about it again and if he reconsiders, he should call me.

im seriously devastated. the last time i felt this kind of connection was 4 and a half years ago with my first bf. i dont smother, i dont cheat, i dont lie. the connection was there. we both love each other, but i just couldnt understand why he would just break up like that.

ui was expecting he'd say something like he's not ready for a committment, or he'sgonna be busy with school, but he didnt give any reasons at all!

it hurts to be dumped and it hurts more to be oblivious.

i dont know what to do anymore. he texted me lkast night, i didn't reply., i am trying the non contact thing with him, and it's so ****ing hard.

ive been going out and i got no interest in flirting with other people, no interest in hooking up. none at all. i am so devastated. i am seriously hoping he would reconsider us.

I was good before i met him, then i was better when i was with him, now, im just devastated without him. i really love him.

the last text i got from him was, I LOVE U TOO. I'M STILL HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING...

please, help. what should i do??

[Dogtoast]

you should probably give him a few days to try and get his head straight. then you should try and meet up with him in a public place to talk about things and see where he's at. At the very least maybe he can give you a reason as to why he broke up with you. I know you're going through some shit but alcohol is a depressant and it makes things worse.

I cant really say much though, because when my ex gf broke up with me 4 months ago I came home from work and immediately started drinking liquor until I was hammered. I did that for several weeks and was miserable. I started working out more and it made me feel better. Thats just what worked for me.

[everybodybutme]

a few days? it's been 3 days since i last saw him. isn't that enough? i am seriously thinking of going toto his place and asking him to tell me everything,

[Dogtoast]

a few days? it's been 3 days since i last saw him. isn't that enough? i am seriously thinking of going toto his place and asking him to tell me everything,

ehhh probably not. I know 3 days seems like an eternity to you, but he might be busy with work or school and not had much of a chance to think about it?

I wouldnt show up at his house out of nowhere. If you do that'll come off as a bit out there I think. Try to give him a few more days and then tell him to meet you at a restaurant.

Chill out with the drinking if you can.

[everybodybutme]

im not gonna show up. im going to call or text him beforehand. and ill tell him everything i feel and tell him that if cant or doesnt want to give me any reasons why he broke up with me, then im not gonna force him anymore, im just going to give up..

[irrelevant_89]

hm.... "there's no assurance that we're gonna be together from one week to another"... and the whole "I love you but we can't be together" attitude.... this makes me think there's something serious going wrong with his life, in which he doesn't want you to get involved... just a hunch.

[everybodybutme]

thats why i wanted to be by his side.. he's turning 25 in less than 2 weeks and i assume he's having a quarter life crisis... since he quit sschool and wanting to move somehwere else in the city... i don'tknow... what should i do?just give him time? BUT HOW ABOUT ME?

[Dogtoast]

im not gonna show up. im going to call or text him beforehand. and ill tell him everything i feel and tell him that if cant or doesnt want to give me any reasons why he broke up with me, then im not gonna force him anymore, im just going to give up..

hm.... "there's no assurance that we're gonna be together from one week to another"... and the whole "I love you but we can't be together" attitude.... this makes me think there's something serious going wrong with his life, in which he doesn't want you to get involved... just a hunch.

Yeah something might be up with his life, def a possibility. If he doesnt give you any reasons, I'd do what I could to move on.

[everybodybutme]

is it right to to talk to him this soon? and tell him everything i feel and tell him that i will move on?

[Dogtoast]

i dont think theres a right or wrong....you just might not get what you want out of it if he's not had the appropriate amount of time to think about it.

[irrelevant_89]

I say make one last try and ask him what is exactly going on with him, with the "you know you can trust me and I'll be there for you" and all that jazz. Be sympathetic and caring. If he doesn't answer then I guess it's lay off the contact, but telling him you're moving on doesn't sound right, especially when it was him that for some weird reason broke up with you.

[Illusional]

whoa.. you're my kinda drinker!!!

ask yourself this though, is HE really waiting around for you?? or is he moving on??

raverboy

[vashti]

What should you do? How about you stop drinking? A three day binge is just disgusting, and besides, alcohol acts as a central nervous system depressant, which will only make you feel worse in the end.

[cmacattack1]

It's kind of lame and disrespectful to just end it by text.

He probably does have some issues to sort out, and if you don't suspect anything else is going on, I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

He has to understand that if he wants you in his life he has to figure stuff out. And talking to you like it's no big deal is not acceptable.

I know it's tough to not have any reasons behind it because you want to fix what went wrong. This is a good time to reflect on the relationship and see some things that may have been overlooked before. It's hard to believe that there weren't any signs before he dumped you.

[everybodybutme]

i absolutely have no idea what he's doing with his space. Last I heard, he hooked up with someone.

I guess I'll just move on, he's obv trying to really forget me. 2 night ago, I was @ a bar and he saw me with a friend. I didn't say hi to him or anything because I Was busy talking to my friend. He just waved his hand at me and I just ignored it. I went to the dancefloor and kinda looked for him, turned out he went outside. H"e texted me, asking me to talk to him. Which I did. Ended up at his place, had amazing sex, talked about our relationship, (couldn't quite remember eveerything since I Was drunk and he's on something, he said something like I already told all my friends about what happened, even my mom, I dont know what todo, if I get back with u, blah blahblah.. ) and now he's been texting me nonstop since yesterday - asking how my day was, my work , blah blah blah.

I just think that he's doing these stuffs, letting me know that he's been online solicitning sex, meeting casual encounters, trying to be nice and friendly to muffle the pain I'm going through, coz I know in the end, he's not getting back with me, even though I am secretly wishing he would.

Every single time he would text me, I Always ask myself if I Should reply. What should I do?

Just do the no contact thing at all? WHt would that prove anyway? EIther he would pick up on that and miss me or he would just forget and move on (obv i do not want the latter to happen)