Socializing and Conversation

[erik]

Nowomannocry's thread had a good title, but from there became...

Anyways, ladies, what do you look for when you first meet a man on a social level, maybe share some stories of men you were impressed by when you first met them

[Indignant]

I am impressed when a MAN doesn't advertise himself. I can't stand guys who try to oversell themselves on the first date.

[erik]

Even before the first date, what social cues do you look for when you start to consider men. What sort of questions do you like him asking upon first meeting etc

[the_robot]

I am impressed when a MAN doesn't advertise himself. I can't stand guys who try to oversell themselves on the first date.

What is advertise himself exactly?

[dewilliams2]

^^^I'm also curious what you mean by that? Are you just talking about bragging or what? I mean its hard to not talk about yourself to a certain extent on a first date...thats kind of the point of a first date.

[QueenofCorona]

I don't like when a guy talks himself up too much. If a guy is interested in ME then he'll ask me questions about ME, not sit and tell me how much money he makes or why he's so great. Sure, tell me a bit about yourself and have confidence but date yourself if you are so wonderful. Talk about common interests, like if you are hearing a band play talk about music tastes. If you are meeting a friend of an acquaintance, ask how she met the acquaintance. Show you are interested in getting to know her, don't try to sell yourself to her. Its too forced and cheesey.

[dewilliams2]

I don't like when a guy talks himself up too much. If a guy is interested in ME then he'll ask me questions about ME, not sit and tell me how much money he makes or why he's so great. Sure, tell me a bit about yourself and have confidence but date yourself if you are so wonderful. Talk about common interests, like if you are hearing a band play talk about music tastes. If you are meeting a friend of an acquaintance, ask how she met the acquaintance. Show you are interested in getting to know her, don't try to sell yourself to her. Its too forced and cheesey.

Okay that makes sense...I just didn't know what advertise yourself meant....I figured it was just bragging and overselling.

[the_robot]

I don't like when a guy talks himself up too much. If a guy is interested in ME then he'll ask me questions about ME, not sit and tell me how much money he makes or why he's so great. Sure, tell me a bit about yourself and have confidence but date yourself if you are so wonderful. Talk about common interests, like if you are hearing a band play talk about music tastes. If you are meeting a friend of an acquaintance, ask how she met the acquaintance. Show you are interested in getting to know her, don't try to sell yourself to her. Its too forced and cheesey.

Yeah, that makes sense, I don't know how a "first date" works, but I do see how saying things like that would be a mistake.. probably makes you look like you are desperate.

[QueenofCorona]

Yeah, that makes sense, I don't know how a "first date" works, but I do see how saying things like that would be a mistake.. probably makes you look like you are desperate.

I think when you are ready for a date, do something where there is something going on...like seeing a band or going to the beach. Something where there will be something to talk about at ease. If you go into it going to dinner just the two of you in a boring old restaurant it might be hard to find things to talk about. If it is a dinner date go to like a hibachi style restaurant where there is something to watch, you'll find more things to talk about.

[erik]

What about if you meet a guy in a more random situation, has there ever been any instance where you have been "wooed" by someone who you have no social connection or previous/limited contact with? Maybe it was through a business transaction (you as a cashier, secretary, whatever), anything

[lahnnabell]

I'm intrigued by eye contact, smiles, and intelligent conversation. It's not just up to the guy to be impressive either. When I walk into a room, I attempt to make eye contact with and smile at everyone in that room at some point. It's like my primer for a social situation, especially if I'm anxious 'cause I don't know anyone.

Conversation is much harder to come by. As people have said, guys and girls alike will oversell themselves to the point it makes you wish you'd stayed at home. The guy I'm talking with has to take an interest in my life. If I find that he's just using the pauses in my story to interject his own opinion or thoughts, I'll move on. I want a real exchange. I prefer guys that are well-read, college-educated, knows how to dress, and smiles. Those are some initial criteria.

[Doc Durian]

Well then, we're a non prospect. I may take interest in anyone I meet, gender non specific...but I dress according to my philosophy on life.

I never want to be caught out. I want my genes to make it as far as humanly possible.

Girls who wear clothing which couldn't get them 3 K's.... I ignore.

They let fashion dictate their lives and not practically.

That's why I'd rather meet a random girl camping or hiking over meeting them in a club.

I need to know that they are stronger than the society which spawned them.

I'm old fashioned mind you, so you can shoot me if you like... seems to be the 2oth and 21st century hunting season.

[the_robot]

I'm intrigued by eye contact, smiles, and intelligent conversation. It's not just up to the guy to be impressive either. When I walk into a room, I attempt to make eye contact with and smile at everyone in that room at some point. It's like my primer for a social situation, especially if I'm anxious 'cause I don't know anyone.

haha every time a girl I don't know looks at me in the eyes and smiles I automatically think there's something wrong with my outfit or something and I look funny... I now think I was wrong about what that meant..

How can you tell he is taking an interest in your life? If he is sharing his thoughts on your story, wouldn't that mean he is interested?

That's why I'd rather meet a random girl camping or hiking over meeting them in a club.
I need to know that they are stronger than the society which spawned them.

I get that point and share it... someone who is a slave to society is just sad...

[lahnnabell]

Robot, please learn and understand that we are all slaves to society. Make peace with that, and move on

Yes, I daresay you were misinterpreting her smile and eye contact. Next time that happens use that as an open invitation to approach. Now, if she smiles then starts whispering to her friends and they all start laughing, then you can assume that's a "NO".

And yes, the guy can have an opinion on my story, of course. But if he asks me if I'm well-traveled, and I go into regaling the story of a trip I took, and the moment I pause he says, "Oh man, I think I left something in my AUDI." Not a smooth segue.

[the_robot]

Robot, please learn and understand that we are all slaves to society. Make peace with that, and move on

Yes, I daresay you were misinterpreting her smile and eye contact. Next time that happens use that as an open invitation to approach. Now, if she smiles then starts whispering to her friends and they all start laughing, then you can assume that's a "NO".

And yes, the guy can have an opinion on my story, of course. But if he asks me if I'm well-traveled, and I go into regaling the story of a trip I took, and the moment I pause he says, "Oh man, I think I left something in my AUDI." Not a smooth segue.

Well, my definition of slave to society is more like people who do everything to please the rest of the people around, like wearing one way just because their friends do, thinking something because of the same reason.. they have no real opinions, that's just sad.

About the eye contact, I wasn't thinking it is an invitation either... I thought it was just like you said you try to do... Am I getting this wrong again?
The whispering to her friends has not happened yet that I know of..

And if someone asked me something and in the middle of my reply he interrupted with something entirely different very often, I'd kick their balls. At first I thought what you meant was like if you say "I like blue cars" the other person says "I prefer red ones" you'd get it badly..