is never forgive/forget standard female behaviour?

[Nimrod]

My relationship with my wife is going downhill at a steady rate and I am trying to fix it all but to no avail so rather than try to do all of our problems in one post I will try to talk about them one at a time and see if anyone has any valuable input.

MY wife has this problem where she never forgives and never forgets anything (And I do mean anything) that I have ever done that ticked her off and she fully acknowledges this behavior but thinks that its a good thing and thinks that not doing this is inferior.

She also Will tell me its fully OK to do something (many times going as far as telling me to do it) and than after I do it she will get angry at me for doing it saying that I should have an inner desire to do what she wanted me to do even though the correct answer was not obvious hence the reason I had to ask in the first place.

So is this normal female behavior?

If I need to provide examples to put this into perspective years ago I was talking to her and she took me out of context and thought I was implying that she was a lesbian so she got really angry so I quickly put myself into context and she than understood what I was wondering about but even after all these years she will bring it up like it happened yesterday along with all the other incidents on her list of things I have done.
Then just recently I asked her if I could go help my Dad clean out his garage and she told me to go ahead and help him out but than when I get home she is angry with me and told me that I should have had an inner desire to stay home with the family than go help my Dad (I am a family guy and stay home all the time so its not like leaving home for a bit is a regular occurrence) but of course its on her never forgive/forget list either and she has promised that she will never forgive me.

As you can imagine over the years the list of these seamingly minor incidents is adding items that she broods over all the time making her not want anything to do with me and what I think is odd is that when I look up relationship advice on the internet people out their who are breaking up have real problems like cheating spouses and alcohol issues which we have none of.

OK so does anyone have any advice and if nothing else is any of this normal female behavior?

[Gigabitch]

If by "normal female behavior" you mean being completely unreasonable and mean, then yes, it's normal.

[ashwood85]

While it seems somewhat normal for women to behave that way, meaning, its kind of like a test; I will tell you what you want to hear but at the same time, I expect you to read my mind and then I get upset because you cant. LOL. It is so normal. I realized that I was doing it to my husband and realized how unreasonable I was being, and made a strong effort to ammend that situation. It would never occur over the course of years though, that seems a bit much.

It seems she is finding any issue, be it, minor or major to cause an issue. Maybe she is pushing you away.