Emotional neglect? Or simply clingy? [Long]

[Swan]

My boyfriend and I will have been together for two years this September. I love him so much... but I also, have troubles loving him. There's a side to him that I don't think many could understand, and I can't decide how much it is hurting me.
I can't kiss him when ever I'd like to, he keeps pushing me away and says I kiss him way too much.
He does this with hugs and other things too, and it feels wrong, to have your boyfriend shrug you off and tell you it's enough already.
I find it hard to ask him questions sometimes because he shoots back these attitude filled blurts that are never a straight answer. He says I ask stupid questions.
He's not good at comforting me. Says he doesn't know how to, but even when I tell him how, he doesn't exactly try.

Omg look at this list so far, he sounds like an absolute prick, lol. But he's not a mean-hearted person, quite the opposite. He gets worried if he thinks he might lose me, or if I'm angry at him. He shares his secrets with me. He still spends some time with me, even if its not as much as I'd like, and he tells me he loves me and makes me dinner and we laugh, and learn, etc, like a relationship should go. It's just that when he isn't ..lets say " In the mood to be a good boyfriend ", he's harsh....really harsh. Or at least it feels that way.

And all this "Don't kiss me so often" or "Don't ask me about _____" or his lack of motivation to go out and do things (He's a big gamer, glued to his computer).... It pushes me away, and I'm very worried I am beginning to train myself to Not love him. When he refuses my hugs or kisses, I become worried about bothering him, and teach myself to not want to hug or kiss him, or not want to ask him questions and include him with things in my life. Do you know how that feels?
To start training yourself to not want your boyfriend?

It's heart breaking, and not..moral, and yet he doesn't want to lose me.
It's not like he's trying to break up with me... he just does this and keeps on thinking we'll be together forever...but how the hell is that suppose to happen when you're training me to push myself further and further away??

Sorry...had to rant.
I just don't know what the hell I'm going to do.

[miSSleepy]

I think you need to tell him exactly what you told us. Haven't you, already? In those words? If he can't listen to what you've just told us, then you need to worry.

I can't tell whether you're too clingy. You've told us the story from your perspective and there's no indication what HIS perspective us. But still, you need to tell him exactly how he's making you feel. And if he still has the same attitude, and you're not happy with it, there's no point carrying on. Both of you will just end up bitter and resentful.

[Swan]

I just talked to him about it. He says I'm smothering him. and it's "not about not kissing me, it's about self-control" ???? And we've been arguing about the fact that I'm going to get a dog next year and I need to know if I'm living with him or on my own because regardless, the dog will happen, and I need to know what will work, and I point out that the dog would REALLY help me spread my compassion out and ease up off him a bit and he disagreed in someway, and I'm going to admit I'm drunk right now but he cut me off and focused on his god damn computer game again and I'm too nice to yell at him for it and I'm so god damn sick off him dropping off important conversations for that stupid game that he's so wrapped in and I don't think this is going to work.

Perhaps I am being selfish. He is somewhat coming around to the idea of a dog, but something unexpected has happened.. I fell inlove with a deaf dog and I feel I can provide him with the proper living conditions and provide him with a great life and he's just like any other dog, you just have to use sign language instead of your voice and he has this HUGE problem with a deaf dog meanwhile he has already admitted that he woundn't be training it, I would, etc. etc, and I just think it's better I live alone because it's not fair to bring ANY dog into a household where everyone is not willing to pitch in for the well being of the dog and thats any dog, let alone a deaf dog that requires a different way of thinking.
I need to follow my heart. I feel I need this, for the dog and for me, it would improve my life in ways that people just cant seem to understand and it makes me feel alone but determined. It's one of those little things in life you feel you need to do or you'll never forgive yourself and never be "whole", and if he can't understand that, than maybe it's not right.

What do you think?

[Yggdrasil]

Swan,

the problem is two fold.

Yes, you are demanding and clingy (needy). On the other hand, he's emotionally closed.

You'll both have to work on this.

[lostinconfusion]

you sound like the person who just needs to love and care for someone (person or animal), which i think is great, but obviously that's not the kind of girl he wants. you should ask yourself if you are gonna change to fit him better and pretend to be less passionate about your partner, or do you find someone better suited for you.

[Yggdrasil]

Swan,

BTW: read this:

[url]http://personalwebguide.com/needy-people[/url]

then this:

[url]http://searchwarp.com/swa11367.htm[/url]

to understand better what you are dealing with and that the problem is two fold.

[miSSleepy]

I'd ditch this a-hole. Whether she's clingy or not, this dude seems like an ego-centric idiot. Add the gaming obsession, and you have my least favourite type of person.