hello all, was looking for some advice with what too do... thank you in advance for your opinions and taking your time out too respond...
we were together for about 2 1/2yrs... it started in high school senior year when we each had crushes but nothing more then hook-ups at parties. then after graduation we decided to get together.. i was so sure i dumped a girl i was seeing for 2months. we went to 2 different colleges about 30min away.. we practically lived togther for the first year of our relationship.. i spent 4-5nights of the week there with her. things went perfect no fights besides what movie to see or what was for dinner.
at the end of the first year about 2 weeks after our 1yr anniv. she told me she didnt think we were right for each other and wasnt sure this relationship would work, and she had alot going on with family squabbles and the word divorce being thrown around the house. so i stayed close too her we went to teh beach,movies, and hung out. eventually about 2 months later we got back togehter and things were great.
about jan-feb 2004 was when i hit a bump.. i didnt know what i wanted from life, school, or myself so i told her i wasnt any good for her and i didnt desserve her.. she said no we will get through this and over the next week or so we did and things were great again. after the school year was over we went to daytona beach for a couple days with her family but it was the most fun ive had in along time and im not a fan of beaches unless im with her. i started to get lazy and i guess you could say i took her for granit. but i started to want to change for myself to make myself happy then make us happy.
we got into a stupid fight which was my fault and i know it. i got angry she wouldnt have lunch with me when we planned it and her boss only gav eher 30min instead of the 1hr. so we got into a squabble and decided a week of breathing room was in order since she didnt have as much time on her hands as i did. then we got together on a wednesday night watched tv and just had a nice night to ourselves. we walked around the blocka nd before she lef ti told her i wanted to take her on a trip. anywhere she wanted to go cuz we needed one of those to revitalize us from the same dull schedule.
so we didnt hang out that weekend cuz of conflicting schedules and on monday i took her too lunch and we laughed and had a great time. and as she got out of my car for work she told me she loved me and gave me a kiss. when she got home that night she told me she doesnt deserve me cuz she doesnt feel the same way i do when i look into her eyes or vice versa. and things started to slip but we still hung out and kissed and said i love you the next couple of weeks.then i had a dream that she thought she was pregnant and when she wasnt she told me she wanted to see other people. within the next week she told me she thought she might be pregnant and when she was fine things got worse. she told me that she didnt think we were right for each other and we didnt fit and that we were wrong for each other.
i was about to give up then i found this while cleaning out my computer. "i love david, wholly and completely, and i thank god that you found me ;-) im not lucky, im blessed, and so are you, cause this is right, and we fit...and only god knows whats in store for us. i love you, david. good night:-)" and i went to her house after her avoiding me and not answering my calls and not letting me give my side and what i thought on the situation.
i printed out what i had found, it wasnt an emotional night she typed it out on. it was a regular night when i wa sout and she worked late and its how she genuinely feels. but she said no forget it and throw it out because she fell out of love with me and she has been feeling less love as time passed... the time being about a month or less.
and i found out that she was seeing someone else.. a kid from our high school years back that has kept in touch with her cuz he had a hard-on for her then and still does. and she has recently moved into her new house and family has been under stress from moving and she said she felt the incredible urge to change and that she likes all the new things that are happening in her life and she felt like her soul needed this she told me if we were meant to be we would be making wedding plans already but we know we wouldnt cuz of school and work... and she doesnt want to try to make things better.. she just wants to let our 2yrs just fall and be nothing more. but i feel like i cant... i feel like i need to fight.. there are a set of words out there i can say or something i can do to prove her otherwise.. and i dont want things to go back to normal.. i want them to get better... im not sure what too do... any ideas? i havent talked ot her since then.. it was about 2 days ago and things are so rough.. days are so long... its horrible i am definetly lovesick