Honeymoon Period?

[bart]

I've been broken up & no contact w/ my ex for 2 months.

We were a LDR, which we were both experiencing for the 1st time.

Anyway, I'm beginning to wonder why I keep thinking that he is "my soul mate."

Before we even dated, but were on that flirty level, we fought. When we started dating, we fought. About 5 months in, I contemplated breaking up with him, but never did. Same thoughts at 6 months. Eventually I did break up w/ him, but only because I felt forced to..I felt like he didn't want the relationship anymore, & he was withdrawing.

The thing is, I've heard the "Honeymoon Period" can last up to 2 yrs. We dated for 10 months, but were unofficially together for 3 months prior. But, within a MONTH of meeting/flirting, we fought. It was over petty things, and as I said, I'm sure the distance added..but isn't that just WAY to early to be fighting?

I mean..what did we have to fight about? Idk, I can't even remember. Anyway, I think I'm doing better at moving on. But, sometimes I still think, "damn, hes my soul mate, i let him go." I started thinking about this last night, & just wanted some opinions. He couldn't have been my soul mate if we were fighting that early on, right? Oh btw he's 22, I'm 20..and 3 weeks after we broke up he had a new gf, and is still with her today.

Any advice would be appreciated, thanks guys.

[TheTooya]

The honey moon period doesn't have a set amount of time, it just... dies out eventually. Like everything in life, things that are brand new are much more appealing than things you are accustomed to. A single month isn't terrible, it just means the chemistry wasn't there all that much :/

[Gigabitch]

Chemistry is pretty hard to maintain in an LDR. You might have had a chance if you'd been in the same place, but you weren't. Fighting isn't necessarily the worst thing in a relationship. It can indicate passion.

[cmacattack1]

Aye, it's pretty tough to do the long distance thing if there isn't a set foundation there. If it's long distance from the get-go, building that bond that you can only build through spending quality time together in person can be difficult. The Honeymoon Period is not an exact science anyway, it's more of a concept. The reality stage that hits afterwards is when people begin to get comfortable and stop trying as hard because they know they have the other person. When most of us aren't at the same level and want the same things in a relationship, this is where people begin to grow apart when you have to be growing together to have a chance of this thing working. When you have two unique people and all sorts of different problems at different stages in our lives, there is no real set time for the honeymoon, or if it even has to end for that matter.

Sounds like your focus is still on the wrong things though, if you are exploring and wondering about the "Honeymoon period" and trying to rationalize why he isn't the one for you even though he feels like your soulmate. He very well could be possibly your soulmate, although at this juncture in his life and your life, he can't be. But he isn't right now, and there is no guarentee or knowing when or where you guys could work. And if the timing is never right, then it probably couldn't conceivably work out. And as we all know and say, life is too short to try and play around with the what ifs and waiting around for the right time when things aren't guarenteed to work.

I know this is a time to sort things out from your relationship, and by all means if you can figure some things out and learn from this, you should do that. You are eventually going to have to draw the line somewhere though if you are obsessing over him still though. Just remember that you can't change what have happened, you weren't happy when you were with him, so it's stupid to think that anything has really changed on both your parts to wonder how things could be today if you stayed together or if you tried again today. Those what ifs are just dead ends. Possibilities, but not realistic.