Should I Wait For Him Or Move On?

[Diamondrose3000]

Ok I have been friends with Chris for 4 years, and I am madly in love with him. He has told me that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me, and he has had several reasons why. The last reason that he gave me was because he doesn’t want to lose me completely. It seems that the women he was in love with before he met me hurt him really badly. He also doesn’t feel like I really love him, but I don’t know how I can make him believe me.

When he first told me he didn’t want to be with me I tried to take a step back from the relationship to get over him, but he got mad and I missed him terribly so I couldn’t do it. Even though he has told me that he doesn’t want to be with me I still cant help, but sit around and wait for him. I make excuses now not to date other people. My last ex has already gotten married so it’s been awhile. I cant get him out of my head, and no matter who im with I cant stop talking about him, and I blush like crazy it still feels new.

Chris provides for me, professes his love for me and protects me. I have always been told that you have found the man for you when nobody or anything not even you could make him leave your side, and he never has not even when I was to young for him. Oh and I am certainly a handful to deal with, and he puts up with it. In four years we have never had sex, but we are intimate and he always tells me how amazing he thinks my body is so I know he’s attracted to me. Recently he casually asked me in a kinda joking way to have his baby.

I said you say it like your joking, but I think your serious and he says so what do you think of the idea. I said I like it I think you would be a good dad. He says so you want kids. I say yes and he says I mean do you want a baby now I said yeah with the right person. Then he just says ok I gotcha. I am ready to settle down and get married and my family and friends pretty much are expecting it to happen soon since im ready plus chris has always been my rock so everyone is expecting to see him at the alter they expected it way before I even fathomed the possibility in my head. So tell me what is going on? The man doesn’t want to be with me, but Is contemplating kids is this normal? Does he really want to be with me or not? Should I move on, and start building a future with someone else?

[Agape]

"In four years we have never had sex," . . . wow, that's interesting, why?

But I think you have fundamental conflicts in the future, "He has told me that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me, and he has had several reasons why." Vs "I am ready to settle down and get married and my family and friends pretty much are expecting it to happen soon" . . . how long are you going to wait?

[NewStart]

You can love your friend, but that does not mean you are destined to be lovers. Appreciate him for all he has to offer. Sadly, for you, he does not think of you in a sexual way. If he did, you'd probably have 'slipped' at least once in four years. This sounds like a clear cut case of unrequited love. I feel for you, because I too was in love with a friend. It only leads to heartache, until you realize that friendships often outlast romantic relationships. He might not be your future husband, but he just might be your friend for life!