Confused BreakUp

[tillgii]

I was with my long distance g/f for over 9 months. We only met 6 times in 9 months due to uni and family etc.
Her family were religious but she still wanted to be with me.
Any how in 9 months everday we was on the phone to each other, we became so madly in love.
In the last month of our relationship she started to feel guilty of her relationship with me as she was lieing to her family etc.

Her mum passed away only 4 years ago, and since then shes had a rocky time finding her dientity. Shes had messed up relationships in the past and she got up to some messy things.
Anyway I helped her to find her identity alongside her friends and she did become such a better person.

At her age she has so many responsibilities - acting like a mum to her real little bro, baby sitting her step bros 3 chidlren and generally her family being dependent on her.

So last week friday I met her up even though she was feeing guilty but I wanted to and in the end she respected that. As soon as I met her she was feeling so uncomfortable that she didnt hardly speak or let me hold her hand or anything.
After 15mins like this, her mate called her on the phone and after the call she sprung to life a little and started to talk more.
She told me shes feeling guilty, so we decided to eat and go to a cinema.

She didnt really want any physical contact at all, just talking and joking about.
We went cienma, she decided again to have no contact. Then I had a headache so I went to wash my face. On my return she asked if I was ok, I was like im ok, but she gave me a head massgae which was nice.

After the movie we went star bucks and I couldnt help but asking her why she acting like this although she made her point. It just hurt I came from such a far distance and she was acting all distant with me.

Anyway I pushed her into some answers which lead to her saying why u feeling so inecure and why u sufforcating me. I told her its because its a long distance relationship and I dont want to loose you. She goes to me ' I told you your not going to loose me'. I go I know but its just so hard. Then she started to think and 2mins later she was like this is ust too much to handle. I was like what you trying to say, you ending it?
She said No, but I want you to.
I said I couldnt.

She had made her mind up, although she didnt intent to she did.
Anyway 5 days on, ive struggled to sleep and I keep wakeing up around 6-7am. The thorts are still going through my head.

She was my best friend, my soul mate and lover. We was so right for each other. She said she wants to remain best friends and im happy with that. I tried contacting her a few times on the phone but she doesnt answer.
Yesterday I asked why cant you speak on the phone, she said well mates only talk when they need to. Its obviously going to be harder on her I think if we carry on speaking on the phone.

Last night I spoke to her on msn with few mates, and I felt so releieved and happy.
Recently Ive harldy been eating or sleeping well and just been moody.
With the convo last night as just beign friendly. I got to sleep with no problem. I woke up again at 7am and she was on my mind for 15-20mins but then I got to sleep again till 11am.
Thats been the most amount of sleep ive had so far.

Anyway I wake up and sitll feel the situation effecting me, I messaged her on msn and I felt better.
I dont know what to do?
I dont want to loose her as a mate as shes one in a billion and shes given me so much that I can loose it all in one go.

I dont know if there will be a chance for us in the future but at the moment shes at home, and when ever shes at home shes always had family stress.
Im waiting for her to start uni and then maybe call her up and take it from there.
What you guys think?

[TAVS]

You dont know what to do? Forget about her and move on. What did you expect from a long distance relationship? They rarely work out. Sorry dude, but you've got to get her out of your head and get on with your life. Stop contacting her, spend more time with your friends, pickup a new hobby, whatever.