good news and bad news

[ktm390]

so my ex finally called today. we talked for 30 minutes though it felt like two minutes. she said she still loves me and we have a chance to get back together. she has been gone for a month now with no contact besides two short emails. oh yeah on v day i sent her a card and a rose to her work. the card wasnt clingy or needy and she said when she read it she almost lost it at work. so at first she didnt want me to know where she was or how to contact her. today she gave me her new phone number and said to call anytime and she wants to get together for lunch soon. after i asked she said she has been on a couple dates. i told her that if she slept with someone else to tell me cuz then it would be over for meand i can move on. so she wouldnt tell me cuz she said now she knows what to say if she wants it to be over. at first when i asked her i thought she has slept with someone else then she made it seem like she hadnt but now its all i can think about! i was so happy at first i knew i shouldnt have asked the question! after a while she had to get off the phone cuz she was feeling sick and had anxiety from talking to me cuz she still loves me and its hard for her to talk to me. thats why it took her so long to contact me she says. so what is my next move here, if i want her back? do i press her about sleeping with someone else? or let it go? or what? im so overwhelmed with emotions right now i just cant think straight. not to mention i have been awake for 32 hours and have to work a 12 hour shift tonight in 5 hours. i just cant sleep!

[xxazurexx]

I'm suspecting she did sleep with someone else because she didn't give you an answer either way. If she hadn't, she'd have told you she hadn't I think.

I don't think it was stupid of you and to ask such a question and because it's something I would have asked too.

[ktm390]

yeah she probably did but im still holding out for a 'no'! ha! just sucks cuz at the start of the talk i was so happy now i almost feel worse than when i hadnt heard from her. i need to get some sleep or else im gonna be ****ed at work tonight! tryin to chug as much beer as fast as i can so i might pass out but its not working. how can she say she still loves me and we have a chance and she thinks about me all the time and then sleep with someone else?? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

[xxazurexx]

yeah she probably did but im still holding out for a 'no'! ha! just sucks cuz at the start of the talk i was so happy now i almost feel worse than when i hadnt heard from her. i need to get some sleep or else im gonna be ****ed at work tonight! tryin to chug as much beer as fast as i can so i might pass out but its not working. how can she say she still loves me and we have a chance and she thinks about me all the time and then sleep with someone else?? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I guess that happens and when they return and with a view to reconcilling, you hear all the bad shit that you could have done without hearing.

She hasn't said whether she has or not for definite yet and it may turn out she didn't. Your asking if she slept with someone, was probably the last thing she was expecting you to ask and she was unprepared for your asking and she didn't know how to respond. Because you also told her that it was over between you and if she did sleep with someone, that will also have put her off from telling you the truth.

If she did sleep with another guy...trust me, it will be something she sorely regrets!

[ktm390]

thank you. so let me ask you this....does it sound like there is a real chance we can get back together... that is if she didnt sleep with someone else or if i can deal with that? i would NEVER take back a cheater but this isnt cheating so there is a slight possibility that i could accept it. i will have to do some serious soul searching and thinking though cuz if we do get back together im not gonna let this ruin things for us, so i have to make 100% sure that i can honestly accept it you know?

[xxazurexx]

thank you. so let me ask you this....does it sound like there is a real chance we can get back together... that is if she didnt sleep with someone else or if i can deal with that? i would NEVER take back a cheater but this isnt cheating so there is a slight possibility that i could accept it. i will have to do some serious soul searching and thinking though cuz if we do get back together im not gonna let this ruin things for us, so i have to make 100% sure that i can honestly accept it you know?

I don't think you have any reason to distrust her and if you do get back together. It happened while you two were apart as you say, so she didn't cheat and while in an exclusive committed partnership with you.

I will also share an experience with you that may help you understand why she may have did what she did. When I was 17 I was with this guy and we were together for 8 months. Anyway, we split and I'd made the same daft mistake as your girl may have...I slept with another guy and despite still being in love with my ex. The reason why it happened, is not because I was in love with this guy, but because I thought there was absolutely no chance of me and the ex getting back together and I stupidly thought that sleeping with someone else was the easy answer to getting over my ex. Of course, it wasn't the answer and I regretted and still do that it ever happened.

I think you could definitely get passed this and were you to get back together.

[ktm390]

I don't think you have any reason to distrust her and if you do get back together. It happened while you two were apart as you say, so she didn't cheat and while in an exclusive committed partnership with you.

I will also share an experience with you that may help you understand why she may have did what she did. When I was 17 I was with this guy and we were together for 8 months. Anyway, we split and I'd made the same daft mistake as your girl may have...I slept with another guy and despite still being in love with my ex. The reason why it happened, is not because I was in love with this guy, but because I thought there was absolutely no chance of me and the ex getting back together and I stupidly thought that sleeping with someone else was the easy answer to getting over my ex. Of course, it wasn't the answer and I regretted and still do that it ever happened.

I think you could definitely get passed this and were you to get back together.

thank you soo much. things are finally starting to look up for me, well except the possibility of her sleeping with someone else. maybe thats something my anger management counselor can help me out with. maybe not. but if i find that i cant deal with it i will let this whole thing go,,,,, then roam the world alone and forsaken, stoned and alone. cuz ill never get another girl like her.

[xxazurexx]

thank you soo much. things are finally starting to look up for me, well except the possibility of her sleeping with someone else. maybe thats something my anger management counselor can help me out with. maybe not. but if i find that i cant deal with it i will let this whole thing go,,,,, then roam the world alone and forsaken, stoned and alone. cuz ill never get another girl like her.

Well don't be too hard on her because she will be feeling bad enough and for what she did (if she did) and she will very likely just want to forget it ever happened.

Right...you can get some sleep now then, lol

[ktm390]

haaaa i wish! i cant sleep. just listening to music and tryin to drink myself to sleep. if i fell asleep now i could get 2 and a half hours of sleep. it might be better to just stay up at this point. guess i am gonna smoke another cigarette finish this 24 of beer and turn everything off and just TRY TRY to sleep. i just dont know its been so long since i stayed up this long i just dont know whats a better idea?

[SelflessnHumble]

HUGE mistake dude.
Read the Art of War or something dude.

First rule when dealing with people: Don't EVER show your hand to them!!!

DO the math dude, she did sleep with someone else...However, you weren't together so she has no obligation to abstain from sex, does she?
Obviously you don't have to like it, but seriously man.

Read this:

Me: Hi, Babe. I've missed you and I want to be with you again!
Jenny: Me too! I love you so much!

Me: So have you dated anyone while we were broken up (huge mistake to ask)
Jenny: Yeah, nothing serious though. What about you?
Me: Naw, I just focused on school and stuff.
Jenny: Aw, really?!?! You're so sweet.
Me: So look...since you did date someone...did you sleep with anyone during our break?

Jenny: Uh, well.... (I interrupt)
Me: Look, if you did sleep with anyone then it would be over for me and I could never get back together with you...
Jenny: (silence)
Me: You can tell me, it's cool.
Jenny: Well, now I know what to say if I want it to be over, huh?


This makes no ****ing sense right there. ^^^ Oh, actually it does!
See, she wants to avoid telling you the TRUTH in fear of you reacting to the news and dumping her. See that?

Next, she lies to you (using anxiety as a bullshit excuse) to avoid the inevitable confrontation and confession of her sleeping with some other dude.
It took her so long to contact you because she wasn't done ****ing the other guy.

If you want to take her back?
Drop the issue. You weren't together so you need to get over this petty excuse not to be with her because she chose to get out and see other people
instead of sitting on the toilet 24 hours a day moping and crying for you to call her.

If you can't sleep? You think actually putting a face and a name to the image banging your girlfriend is going to make you feel better? Really?

[Kaius]

If you are bothered by the possibility of her sleeping with someone else during this month apart, then it will definitely come up during your renewed relationship. You will lose sleep over it. You will have thoughts about guys having sex with her. This will stress you out, so I think you should reconsider. How can she sleep with other guys while she is still in love with you? Think about it....people who break up are usually too sad to get laid....for a long time if there are still feelings. Do you want to feel like her "backup plan"?
I mean, if she slept with someone in a short period of 30 days, and tells you she wants to get back together, doesn't it imply that she only wants you because things didn't work out with her fling? GET HER OUT OF YOUR MIND! DON"T GO BACK! You know she got laid during this time, so why torture yourself?

[IncognitoSir]

HUGE mistake dude.
Read the Art of War or something dude.

First rule when dealing with people: Don't EVER show your hand to them!!!

DO the math dude, she did sleep with someone else...However, you weren't together so she has no obligation to abstain from sex, does she?
Obviously you don't have to like it, but seriously man.

Read this:

Me: Hi, Babe. I've missed you and I want to be with you again!
Jenny: Me too! I love you so much!

Me: So have you dated anyone while we were broken up (huge mistake to ask)
Jenny: Yeah, nothing serious though. What about you?
Me: Naw, I just focused on school and stuff.
Jenny: Aw, really?!?! You're so sweet.
Me: So look...since you did date someone...did you sleep with anyone during our break?

Jenny: Uh, well.... (I interrupt)
Me: Look, if you did sleep with anyone then it would be over for me and I could never get back together with you...
Jenny: (silence)
Me: You can tell me, it's cool.
Jenny: Well, now I know what to say if I want it to be over, huh?


This makes no ****ing sense right there. ^^^ Oh, actually it does!
See, she wants to avoid telling you the TRUTH in fear of you reacting to the news and dumping her. See that?

Next, she lies to you (using anxiety as a bullshit excuse) to avoid the inevitable confrontation and confession of her sleeping with some other dude.
It took her so long to contact you because she wasn't done ****ing the other guy.

If you want to take her back?
Drop the issue. You weren't together so you need to get over this petty excuse not to be with her because she chose to get out and see other people
instead of sitting on the toilet 24 hours a day moping and crying for you to call her.

If you can't sleep? You think actually putting a face and a name to the image banging your girlfriend is going to make you feel better? Really?

You typed everything I was too lazy to. I can't believe nobody else saw that!!!! Like seriously WTF, that makes no damn sense. And as far as her not knowing how to respond to your question...........Uhhhhh, it's a yes or no question its not ****ing rocket science damn. She reeks of lies and deceit.