Trying to get over past...

[Katarina25]

I met that man about a year ago. I wasn't sure if he was interested in me or not because of mixed signals he was sending. After few months we spent some time together, talked and it seemed like he liked me and my company ( even though we've never had any real date ). I saw that I attracted him and thought there could be something between us. Then he told me about his past relationship and ex-girlfriend. They broke up 2-3 years ago, don't see or contact each other (she lives in another town) but it seems she is still on his mind. He told me I attracted him a lot but he was afraid of hurting me. I just don't know what to think. It's been so long since they broke up but it seems like he really doesn't want to get over her. When I asked him if his feeling may change he answered " rather not". Seems like could be happy only with her...Another question is that I don't know if I am right person to make him forget. If he doesn't want even try to start something new and still thinks of her maybe I am not? I'm really confused...

[carl1222]

It's obvious that she was/is the Great Love in his life. He may never truly get over her, and if given the chance, he would take her back in an instant even if he starts a relationship with you. That's why his reluctance to move on is understandable ... it would force him to give up his fantasy of a reconciliation with her down the road.

I would only pursue a relationship if:

1) There is absolutely, positively NO chance that they could ever get back together; and
2) You can live with being #2 in his heart.

Carl.

[Tug]

Why would you want to get involved with someone who cant get over his ex? Your better than that and deserve so much more than he could possibly give. Let this guy go, there's plenty of single men out there that would be more than happy to spend time with you and treat you the way should be treated.