I think I'm making a fool of myself....

[China]

So I met this guy Jay through a mutual friend about 5 weeks ago. We hit it off from the start and have either hung out, talked on the phone or IM'd EVERY day since we met. I thought he was a good looking guy from the beginning and was told by our mutual friend Anne that he thought I was cool/cute as well. The more time that we spend together, the more I have feelings for Jay and have been completely upfront with him about my feelings so I know he is well aware of how I feel. The problem is that when I ask Jay how he feels, he tells me he's not sure what he wants. Which is fine but at the same time we continue to spend a lot of time together. The story is actually much longer than what I'm posting but I don't want to drag this out. Essentially, I don't know if I'm wsting my time and should just move on or if I should continue to hang on, if nothing else, I want to continue to be friends with Jay but I don't know if I will be able to given how I feel about him. I've tried sitting him down and talking about it but he tells me the same thing, he doesn't know what he wants. I respect this but at the same time it's frustrating. His best friend told me that after all this time, if he hasn't made a move he's not intertested. I went back to jay with this and he said that since he never talks to his best friend about me how would he know..The worst part is that the friend that introduced us has been pushing the relationship angle so hard that it's now causing problems between her and myself as well as between her and Jay. They have known each other since childhood and I am beginning to feel guilty about the whole situation. The other problem is that people keep telling me to make myself "less accessible" to him but I find that hard to do. I enjoy spending time with him and talking with him but feel that my friends are right when they say that he has no reason to date me since it's like we're dating already and therefore he needs to make no commitment...Any ideas?

[Tone]

Wait you don't happen to live in Lincoln do you?

[China]

Wait you don't happen to live in Lincoln do you?

Nope, I'm in NY

[true_love]

Guys love the chase. My advise is make yourself less available to him. This drives guys crazy. If he enjoys your company as you say you do, he will miss that and realize what you mean to him. Let him seek you out. Sometimes you don't know what you got until its gone. He will realize this when you suddenly make yourself less available. Good luck!

[Fyesteema4]

if he wanted to date you, he would. I'm sorry but it is really that simple. You spending all this time with him is just going to make you like him even more. Have you been intimate with him? You should move on, I'm not saying you have to cut yourself off from him all together, but move on emotionally and just know if he does want to persue things, he will.

[Tone]

Nope, I'm in NY

Darn. I have a roommate named Jay and he has "this girl" that he sees about once every 2 weeks or so and I could see her saying the things you said. I was hoping you were her cause she's kinda hot.

Wait.

Does that make me an a$shole? >:[

[Fyesteema4]

Oh and by the way, guys are cowards, they will make up any excuse to avoid saying "I'm sorry I just not that into you," (they really don't want to hurt us! )

[mhussain]

china ...
move on ... i am sure u love him so much ... but he doesnt ... no matter how many times he says that he doesnt know ... it means that he doesnt want to hurt u ...

china ... life goes on and will go on and i am sure u will find someone ... someone who wont be able to live without loving you ...

best of luck ... wht u decide to do is ofcourse upto you

Hussain

[Only-virgins]

Guys love the chase.

Negative.


_______________

[mhussain]

i second OV

Hussain

[China]

Guys love the chase. My advise is make yourself less available to him. This drives guys crazy. If he enjoys your company as you say you do, he will miss that and realize what you mean to him. Let him seek you out. Sometimes you don't know what you got until its gone. He will realize this when you suddenly make yourself less available. Good luck!

The problem is, he's one of these guys that if I were to do that, he wouldn't care....I told him that's what scares me about him, that he could be so flippant about his friendships. He told me that it's not that he's flippant, it's just that if someone doesn't want to talk to him he's not going to force the issue.

[China]

Darn. I have a roommate named Jay and he has "this girl" that he sees about once every 2 weeks or so and I could see her saying the things you said. I was hoping you were her cause she's kinda hot.

Wait.

Does that make me an a$shole? >:[

*LAUGH* nope, just makes you honest!

[China]

So he and I spoke and he told me that I need to do what makes me happy which I told him is impossible for me to do if he's not "in agreement". This is the response I got: "you look at this whole situation. you like me and want to date. you know i am at the point that i'm pretty much happy single. now factor in is it easier/will it make you happier to forget about it and move on or do you think there is a good possibility you can sway my ideology. you look at it, decide which is the best root for you and then follow that decision. You know how persuasive you can be and you know how stern i am in my views." So I asked him if he thought I could persuade him and he said: "I have no clue if you could. you might be able to, you might not."

WTF?!?!?!?!?

[Tone]

Sounds like a jerk, take Hussain's advice and move onto a guy who won't BS you around..

[misombra]

girl move on. he's saying he wants to be single. leave him alone and save your dignity.