How to choose?

[earlydecember]

If you read my other thread you'll know i have a girlfriend but i think i'm falling for another girl, i get stronger feelings about her every day, every time we talk.....

I was wondering if anyone else has been in a position where you like two girls/guys and didn't know what to do?!?!?!

What did you do?
Was what you did the right thing?

[squirrley]

oh jump in Ice!

First you must not really be in love with the first...or have things that are not being fulfilled. Otherwise you wouldnt be interested in this other person.

You should figure out what it is you really want without playing both of them. Do they know about eachother?

[earlydecember]

My mate knows I have a girl friend, and my girl friend knows I have a mate at college called Charl.

I'm ment to be going out with my mate on Thursday if my girl friend is unhappy about that would that mean she dosnt trust me.....is there any point with being with someone who dosnt trust me??

I do love my girl friend, just maybe not as much as I thought!

[squirrley]

you just answered your own questions!

WHY would you want to maintain a relationship where there is no trust? That's crucial~! If you dont have that its over already.

You have several things in a relationship that should be unconditional...love, trust, communication, and the list go ons.

When you start to feel things are being met for you...you need to get out. Dont stay because you dont want to be alone or whatever. You should want to be with someone who reciprocates what you need or want. Without it how could you have a healthy relationship?

My OWN personal opinion with what you have said, is to get out.
Not necessarily jump into the other fire pan...but scope things out play it cool and have fun. In the meantime figure out what it is you really want for yourself first. Then from the other person.

Goodluck!

[earlydecember]

thanks squirrley i think i needed someone to spell it out for me, even if i was thinking the same thing!!! I've never liked another girl while i've been with someone, it's just so wierd for me!!!

[gmcnxx]

Choose one or the other and go for her. Playing two girls is attractive but may end up with both of them dumping you for the obvious reasons. Besides, women are usually very possessive and they definitely will not stick around a guy who in their opinion cannot make-up his mind. You are setting yourself up for a failure by courting two girls at the same time – no matter how honest or good your intentions are.

[squirrley]

Um where did playing 2 girls becomes attractive?

WTF? thats not cool man.

Yea it can backfire on your ass inevitabley. But if you know what you are doing things will work out for the best anyway.

He just needed a shove in the right direction. He knew what was right for himself, just needed someone else to tell him.

As for as possessive? Oh man REALITY check for you bud. Who the hell would want an possesive woman up your ass 24-7 ! Those type of women are scarier than hell. STAY AWAY FROM THOSE!!!

He's not setting himself for a failure here...he's only trying to figure out his own feelings, and hopefully he knows what he wants and he'll do it for himself alone...

[earlydecember]

(gay voice) You go girl!!!!!

[squirrley]

hell I call it like I see it!

[gmcnxx]

Sorry, earlydecember (and squirrley);

Did not meat to step on anybody’s toes. I thought the question was “do I stay with the girlfriend (of now) or do I go for the other.” As for possessiveness, I have yet to meet a gal or a guy who will be happy with his/her other half dating others. I have tried in the past (at least two times that I remember) to be nice and stay friends with the ex while my feelings went for another. It never worked. The ex always became obsessive and the ugly scenes afterwards. It is nice to say “I am open and non-possessive” but I have to throw the B.S. flag down on this one. When was the last time your b/f or g/f dated others and you were so happy with it? Maybe squirrley is taking the word possessive to mean obsessed. Now, obsessed, that is 24 /7 bitch up your ass as it was well put.

[squirrley]

This is the deal...you are obvioulsy dating some or dated some real nut jobs. We have discussed many times about staying friends with your x's. some do some dont.

I wasnt confusing the obsessive with possesive. Its not healthy to be possesive of your b/f or g/f its insecurities there brother.

But the two go hand in hand...

[gmcnxx]

Well said

[squirrley]

why thankyou

goodluck in finding those non-possesive type!

[gmcnxx]

I wrote “well said” because you brought up some valid points. Like you said, the issue of the original thread “How to Choose?” may not have been about making choices at all. But that’s how I read it. As for dating nut cases, I probably did. My current g/f is a total nut-case as well. I just gravitate to the wrong kind. But they all seemed normal in the beginning.

Cheers

[squirrley]

yea thats what we all say...

at least you learned one lesson here today....

women are just freaks! some of them anyway...