Backstory:
- Boy frequents local bar near his office and becomes a regular and gets to know all the wait staff
- Boy and bartender have great chemistry and flirt whenever they see each other. She's 24, I'm 27.
- Boy finds out she's engaged and leaves it at that
Fast forward a year:
- I've changed offices and rarely go back to the that bar.. say once every 3-4 months and when I do, I get a warm reception from everyone
- I found out from another bartender that she broke off her engagement and decide to make a move
- I ask her out and she enthusiastically gave me her number
Anyways. A couple days later on a Wednesday night, I take her out to resto-bar type thing and next 4 hours proceeded better than I could have imagined. We hit it off right away, not missing a beat. We ended up on the same side of the booth, with her leaning up on me and us just swapping stories and getting to know each other with so little effort that I thought I was dreaming. She mentioned a few times how she was having a fantastic time, and reading her body language and everything, it felt like she was really into me (and surprised herself by how much fun she was having). Anyways she had a birthday party she had to make an appearance at after our date and asked if I wanted to join, and I declined saying I had some work to do thinking it was better to cut the evening short and leave her wanting a bit more. Also I didn't want to tag along to her friend's thing on a first date. So we call it and although I didn't kiss her (she was sick and I wanted to take it slow) I said I'd call to set up our second date and she again enthusiastically agreed.
Now perhaps I screwed this next part up, but 1. I'm not a super experienced dater so I don't know all the rules, and 2. my last relationship was a 4 year marathon that ended in heartbreak so my confidence is a little shaken
But whatever the reason, I wait until Friday to msg her. It was just a stupid a picture of meme that we both liked and I changed the wording so it was about me asking her out for the second date. I thought at worst it was nerdy as hell but still thoughtful enough to elicit a response, especially since we had such a great time.
Nope. No luck, no response.
So I wait.. thinking she's playing some game or maybe she's genuinely busy or whatever.
Saturday was St Patty's day and I say **** it, I'm going to have fun today and not think about her and hope this is just a misunderstanding.
Nada.
I call yesterday and get her voicemail.. leaving a short message like "Hey, it's (me) and I was wondering when you're free this week, I'd like to take you out for dinner. Call me".
Again nothing.
Now I'm annoyed because I know she's used her phone, we follow each other on twitter and she's been using it so I know she's at least seen my missed call. So simplest reasoning: she's ignoring me and blowing me off. This hurts because I feel like I deserve a little more than nothing as we're not complete strangers and she's definitely going to see me again when I go back to the bar.
I figure she's either met someone else in the last few days that is more exciting than me, she's a terrific actress and had me completely fooled into thinking she liked me or she's taking her time and playing childish games.
Girls: did I wait too long to contact her? Did I not show enough interest? Should I have followed up the next day? Is it possible that something so petty as when a guy re-contacts you after the first date can totally turn you off?
TLDR; boy takes girl out, they have an amazing time where girl is flirtatious and agrees to go out again. boy msgs girl, then calls girl and gets zero response. what am I suppose to do now?