Almost painfully shy..

[MissMischievous]

Ok so I'm a really shy person.. When I'm online or around my friends, I'm totally fine, I don't have any problems. But when I'm around people I don't know all that well, it's like I don't know how to act or what to say. Or sometimes I will have something to say, but due to my surroundings I'll second guess myself and just keep quiet. I really want to be more outgoing, less afraid to speak my mind.. Does anyone else have these problems? Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to maybe get past it?

[Aeradalia]

The way I counter my shyness is to learn what would be appropriate should a mishap occur. Such as, what do you if you stutter or god forbid, trip.

Try to act out scenarios with friends and family that you may do at meetings and other more formal get togethers. Sure you may laugh, but you'll develop 'muscle memory' of the motions you go through in such an event.

Practice, practice, practice in front of a mirror... no matter how silly you'll feel. It's important to know what kind of facial expressions you're conveying... and how to will the ones you want. This will give you a much needed sense of control --- if you don't feel confident, at least you know you look confident.

Learn how to focus on one person at a time... instead of a whole group. Remember, it's easier trying to talk one on one... so have that frame of mind.

There are other tricks... but these are the ones that readily come to mind.

[sehvral]

I used to. Actually, I still do, just to a lesser extent.

You conquer fear by doing the things you are afraid to do. I was terrified of sharks after watching Jaws when I was 5. I got over it by jumping into the water and swimming with sharks one summer. I was afraid of being "rejected" when I approached strangers, I got over it by approaching them.

The key is to not overthink it. This is an old rule guys are taught for approaching women. Don't talk yourself out of the approach, just walk up and say something. Saying the wrong thing is still better than saying nothing.

Do this: for the next two weeks, talk to 5 strangers every day. Nothing major, you can even just start out slow and say "hi", "how are you?", etc to people you pass. Every once in a while, you'll click with someone. I spent 2 hours late one night talking to someone I happened to say "hi" to in a store as I walked past. It wasn't a big thing to say, we just clicked.

You'd be surprised at how many people are afraid to approach strangers. Sometimes all it takes is you saying "hi" to them to get them out of their shell.

[dewilliams2]

Yea the best advice I have is to just dive head first into a crowd of people.

I used to be fairly shy...still am I suppose. But you wouldn't know it to look at me or talk to me. I always present myself confidently.

Don't be afraid to screw up.....I mean worst thing that will happen to you socially is you will be laughed at. Laugh with them...cause its probably funny.

[Aeradalia]

When it comes to goofing up in public remember... it's only a moment and that too shall pass.

[QueenofCorona]

I am a little bit that way, it used to be a lot worse when I was younger. I grew up in a household where I was constantly told I was a **** up so you really start to believe that. I sometimes second guess myself before saying something in public, especially around people I want to make a good impression on. It just takes more time for me to open up and let my guard down. Just believe that you are good enough and smart enough and people DO want to hear what you have to say. We are always our own worse enemies half the time.

[lastwish]

Just remember, when you make a mistake and people laugh at you, those people are going to end up in dirt in the end anyways.

[Doc Durian]

I kind of look through people these days where I was unable to look at them before. It wasn't something I chose, it just happened one day out of the blue...

...but then again, I didn't give a shit about anything on this earth and was hurting...

Maybe it was my bottoming out point... where nothing matters. Dunno.

One life was on one side of the shyness line, the other picked up after that.

Though I've noticed that my son seems chemically to be on the same exact ques as me along his birthdays and with a different upbringing.

Makes me wonder if the fight or flee gene doesn't hang tuff despite whatever society seems to pretend otherwise...

[DarrelH]

When you are with people you know or meet new people the best thing you can do is to ask questions. This is especially beneficial when they make a statement that could have several meanings or beliefs for the statement. Ask them to clarify. "Why do you say that?" ( in a quizzical tone) works well. People appreciate when you pay attention to them.