Some advise from the females!

[loveisthedrug]

Hi everybody. Long time lurker first time posting.

I have question for the women out there regarding how a girl acts.

I'm in a situation now where I have been seeing this girl and we get along well together. We can talk for hours without any awkward silences and be all round ourselves with each other.

Over the last couple of weeks I have noticed how she seems to be more physical. She always goes to grab my hand so that we can hold hands and when we are sitting down, she will more ofter rest her head on my shoulder. I quite enjoy all of it but I like to be honest with a person.
Today while we were on a bus, I told her that I am falling in love with her. Which I am! I think about her when I wake up in the morning.
After I told her that "I'm falling for her", she said she liked me a lot, but said she doesn't want anything happening. Not in those exact words, but none the less still obvious. Even after this on the bus, she still likes to hold my hand. She starts the contact.

I'm in a state of mind where I don't know what is happening! I've decided for the moment to try and take time away to give her room. Maybe I was too forward?

Do any of you women know what she is thinking or what she is doing?

Thanks for the help

[vashti]

You told a girl you haven't even dated that you love her? Yes, you were too forward. Sorry, my friend, but you shouldn't have done that.

I think you should tell her that you are developing feelings for her (NOT love) and think it would be best to keep your distance if she doesn't reciprocate the feeling.

[loveisthedrug]

Oh we have dated! Twice infact. They have been successful because she gave me great feedback about them.

This is where I get confused. All was running well up untill today.

[vashti]

I would still give the same advice. (Two dates isn't much, is it?)

[Ellynn]

The worst thing you can do in any relationship is to confess your undying love for someone WAY TOO SOON! Two dates hardly qualifies as time to really get to know each other. Most people wait at least a few months and some a few years INTO A RELATONSHIP. Either way, if you say it too soon, more then likely the other person will run in the opposite direction.

Next time, just go with the flow. See where it takes you instead of pouring out your heart right away.

[Gigabitch]

All she wants is for you to take it really slow with her. She's just getting comfortable with reaching for your hand.

I think you should tell her that you're really glad you met her and that you hope that someday that you and she can be together as the most romantic couple in the world, but that the pace of your relationship is entirely up to her. Tell her in plain words that you won't rush her. She might be a little freaked out.

How old is she? Does she have any experience at all? If she's new to this, you have an opportunity to be that wonderful, kind, patient first love we girls all wish we'd had. Maybe one girl in 20 has this experience. Maybe.

[Blix]

Ohh but don't "Give her space" just don't say it again to soon.

[loveisthedrug]

Little update:

What I said to her come up in conversation with her and she basically said that she isnt comfortable pretending to have something when she doesn't want it.
It all become clearer, as she is planning on leaving the country later this year to head back home and she doesn't want anything serious because she will feel she will get hurt and she doesn't want to see me hurt either.

We are still friends, which is great. Will still have a good laugh together.

[Ellynn]

Well at least you got a good friendship out of this. yeah since she is moving, its smart not to get too involved.

[loveisthedrug]

Well it was hard to come to terms really, but being honest with both ourselves, it's the only logical way.
She said it to me that she did think beforehand about a relationship even before I slipped the words. She added the pros and cons up and the cons out weighed the pros.
She's the type of girl that travels a lot, so she is not up to having anything serious until she settles down back in her home country.

I do rather to at least have the friendship from this, as she is truly a wonderful person. She feels that she can talk openly to me about anything and I do to the same, which is good too.

[clynn]

You're lucky to have such a sweet girl for a friend!