Absolutely Confused

[Luvaboy]

First, let me start off that i didn't know what area to post and excuse me for my bad grammer. I will do my best to explain the situation. I became friends with a very nice lady at work. Her and i were both having relationship problems so we became good friends. She was married and I was in a LTR. Her and i both would come to work just to get away from our partners. One thing lead to another and we became lovers. Over the course of time i ended my long term relationship because i was living with a woman who didn't hold up her end of the relationship. She stated she was going to leave her husband. As time went we became more involved with one another sharing as much free time as possible. One day 2 weeks ago we got into a stupid argument. She started to yell at me and i began to curse at her. We quickly realize that we should talk about this at a later date. The next day she stated to me that we have to take a look at he situation and make a decision on what we should. She decided to cut it off and i was ok with that. Now over the course of these few months we realized that we care deeply for one another. Trying out best to stay away from each other.

The sad part is that we call each other and spend our breaks together because of choice. And during that time all we can talk about is how much we miss each other. Now, she is still married and one day she told her husbad about the affair she had with me. Her husbans wants to try and work things out. But she states to some degree is not willing because of all past problems her and her husband had. They've been married 5 years and got married only 3 or 4 months of knowing one another. She just out of a bad relationship and he just got a divorce. In my opinion was a very bad move. They have a child together about 2 or 3 years old. The reason why she is not all that willing to work out the marriage is because of the verbal abuse. I asked her do she love him and her response is only as the father of her child. But yet she still remains with him. A few months back he theatened to leave and divorce her. Now because of our feelings for each other she is forced to make a decision about if she really wants to stay and save her marriage. Before when her husband was in control he felt like he could do anything and she would accept it. Now that she is really thinking of leaving now he wants to save their marriage. She has stated to me that he is firmly aware that she does not love him. Yet they both stay in this relationship.

Now she is confused on what to do. She wants to be with me because i make her happy ect. But apart of her wants to try and work things out with her husband. I'm really trying to be her friend helping her think about the situation and to help her make a decision. But she is so unhappy that its killing me inside. She is affaid that in the end someone feelings will be hurt. I have explained to her over and over again. She need to do whats best for her and not to worry about my feelings. I have gone as far as stating that she does not have to be with me or make a decision about being with me. Hoping that would ease some of the pain she is feeling. But she insist that its to late for that. I'm trying my best to help her as a friend and not as a lover. I give advise to her on both sides of the coin. I've even informed her that it might be best not to choose me or her husband and to go on with her life. Which i think is the best decision. I'm not looking for any personal gain out of this situation. I just want her to be happy. But i must be honest with myself she makes me happy. With or without her i'm still happy with my life. I truly feel that in the end she loses.

The reason why she is still married in my opinion is that both her and her husband are affaid to admit to failure. Also affaid to move of with thier life because they dont know whats beyond the front door. They are both unhappy and willing to settle for it because thats all they know. Too affaid to take chances with life. I want to help but dont know what to do. I have offered to stay clear of her until she can make up her mind. But she states that will not help. I'm absolutely confused on what to do or what the outcome my be. Any advice would be helpful. Thx and sorry for the book lol

[clynn]

They've been married 5 years and got married only 3 or 4 months of knowing one another. She just out of a bad relationship and he just got a divorce. They have a child together about 2 or 3 years old.

The reason why she is still married (in my opinion) is that both her and her husband are affaid to admit to failure. Also affaid to move of with thier life because they dont know whats beyond the front door. They are both unhappy and willing to settle for it because thats all they know. Too affaid to take chances with life.

Maybe they're both starting to realize there is could be a pattern of repeating mistakes in their lives. Leaving one relationship for another. Never solving any problems or ever figuring anything out. Maybe their relationship is difficult and challenging but they've decided they want to stick with this one instead of giving up on it. Maybe. Just maybe.