Jealous boyfriend?

[Jenna9999]

I've recently started to notice that my boyfriend of 1 year is starting to show signs of jealousy to some of my male friends. My friends are very important to me and I don't see why I should have to sacrifice my friendship or how much I talk with them just to make him less jealous about it. He knew from the start and I made it perfectly clear I tend to have more male friends than female friends and that I am close with some of them.

He keeps saying he isn't jealous but if he knows I am talking to some of them he will start replying cold to me and act sad about it, I dont think he will admit it. The problem is he is mentioning it indirectly almost daily now, asking what I am doing apart from chatting to guys etc and it is starting to annoy me. The worst thing is he spoke to one of my male friends and got his number off him for whatsapp/bbm but then made out as if my male friend gave it to him. I can't stand if he's just using that information to stalk who I am talking to and when. For now it hasn't annoyed me that much but do you think this is just going to get worse?

He has female friends and I have no issues with that whatsoever. The problem is some of my friends I have been close with for over 5 years and I trust them with everything, whereas i have been with my bf for 1 year, it's not like he can expect me to just change my friendship with people surely? these people have been there for me when times have been rough and they are always there for me, i think he did not really understand at first how close i am with some of my guy friends but perhaps now he is?

Any thoughts would be appreciated, thanks.

[pcmaster]

Weel he must like you too much. Maybe from begining he was ok with your friend, but now hes not cool if someone is with you. He could be jealous because he mmay want to relive some of thouse emotions that you have with friends, like diferent level of trust. He might want to be everthing that you will ever need.

[Jenna9999]

He has known of my friends from the start, but now I think he is understanding how close some are to me in my life. There are things I can't talk to him about that I can talk with to my friends, is this normal?

[pcmaster]

Yes it is normal for you I quess. You told him about friends from the start so he have to accept that you come in one package with them in this relationship. Otherwise it would be emotional affair(google it) and thats like cheating.

[Starnique]

I know several guys who don't like their girlfriends male friends. My Ex, for an instance. He was just very upfront. He said male friends are off limits. Period. I didn't have any male friends when I was with him. If I did, they were mutual friends to both of us. I had maybe one or two he didnt really know about it but we didn't hang out or anything like that. He always felt like the guys I had as friends had some kind of hidden agenda. If he feels that way he probably wont change because some guys just don't like it. Period. So you would need to decide what's more important. Your friendships or your relationship with him. And maybe if you all can compromise if your boyfriend will change but if he stuck in his ways then you have to determine if that's the kind of relationship that you want.

[VincenzoG91]

Some women are incredibly naive about the motives of their close male friends. That may or may not be the case in your situation, but it's understandable that your boyfriend is concerned. And if you don't value your relationship with your boyfriend more highly than your relationships with these other guys, then you are either with the wrong guy, or you aren't ready for love.

[Wakeup]

Do you spend one-on-on time with these male friends, Jenna?

By the sounds of things you value your posse more than you do what is suppose to be your best male friend ~ your boyfriend. I think he should dump you and find someone who knows that when you are in a relationship the dynamic of your opposite sex friendship(s) should change so that your SIGNIFICANT Other is actually feeling significant.

[pcmaster]

I think its cool to have friends. BF should be a reason to live less social life or cut off friends? In the end not every relationship should be based around partner. Some people dont even give up their extra social life for their own kids. Everyone is building their own type of relationship and theres shouldnt be society frame that limits your creativity, freedom or stoicism when it comes down to relationships.

[Jenna9999]

Most of the time no, mainly through text messages and emails. By the sound of some replies here it seems you think I should forget my best male friend for my boyfriend?

[Wakeup]

"Most of the time, no" So you do spend some time with him doing date like activities. Not cool to your primary relationship. ... and ... If you're spending most of your time on the phone having conversations with your male friends while your bf is there being basically ignored, then that's rude and disrespectful and hurtful to say the least. Has your bf even met your "friend?"

"It seems you think I should forget my male friend for my boyfriend." If you have any decency and if you loved your bf and you're not secretly in love with your male friend, then you would think you should give up the disrespectful activities your own self.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Break up with him. He won't change, and you won't either.

[Wakeup]

Yes... and keep having the same fking thing happen with every new guy that you happen to hook.

[pcmaster]

Well you said he have female friends so everything is fair. ofcourse you could hand out with your friend infront of BF so BF would feel perhaps safer and less ignored. Anyway its up to you if you think its time
that you have to choose
What you win or lose, you can't have everything
Don't you take chances, you might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain 'cause love won't set you free


Its words from Leona Lewis song Happy

[Jenna9999]

Sorry I think you're misunderstanding a bit Wakeup.

I don't go out with male friends just when it's the two of us, not if it can't be helped. No my bf hasn't met my friend.

And no I don't spend time talking to mates whilst i'm with my bf's, I will reply to mates if my bf is doing the same thing on his phone.

I do value my relationship with my bf, but i also value my friends too. I just find it weird that I have no problems if he hangs with female friends, infact one of his ex is in his circle group of friends yet I dont have a problem with it.

I just don't see why I should have to choose between them? :S

[overanxious]

ahhh this topic...its a good one

when i started dating my ex my one close female friend(who was a complete non threat) who wasnt in a relationship hated her because my best friends gf and her were close and they both liked me alot and hated her....those girls felt like she was taking me away from them.....and i had hoped we could all be friends(I even took my gf and my close female friend out for dinner together in hopes they could bond)....my ex would only be friends with my female friends who were in relationships

i had another girl that i used to talk to alot....and wanted me to take her out...but i just didnt have feelings for her....me and my ex went to a party she was at...and everytime i went into a room alone this girl would follow me in to see how my gf would react......people are just crazy and i dont get it....

one time at a family dinner which my ex wasnt there for ....my best friends gf flipped out and left the house....she said "you ruined my life" to me and told my best friends mother "i thought if me and joe didnt work out me and aaron would be together"....complete ****in nuts....

meanwhile early on my gf would tell me "i have alot more guy friends than i do female friends"....well that was because these guys all wanted to sleep with/be with her....and she alienated girlfriends with her shitty attitude and constant criticism....