So I posted here before about a girl I was seeing long-distance, and now that that distance is over, I think I killed the relationship. Let me know what you think.
So I dated a girl from another city all last fall while I was in school in another city. We were hot and heavy, texting and flirting every day, and when we got together on weekends it was unbelievable. Spent two different weeks together in November and December and it was great, all our friends thought we were amazing, I was just nuts about her and she said she was crazy about me. I found out I got a new full-time job in her city, starting in one month. Even better.
Then the job told me they couldn't actually start me until April 1. Bummer. With no income until the new job started, and needing a visa to even live there, I had to go home and live with my parents for Christmas and New Year's. I wanted to fly to see her for New Year's -- we both wanted it insanely badly -- but I couldn't get together the $1200 for it. So we texted every day, sent funny photos, talked about life. Sometimes it was difficult -- her ex-boyfriend at one point went crazy trying to get her back but she refused -- and in the end my new job moved my start date up until mid-February. Terrific. In the last weeks she had gotten a little argumentative over silly topics, and one day just quit her job spontaneously with no backup to turn to, but she seemed generally okay and we were both so excited. Two weeks before I come over she says I might be the most amazing person she's ever met (clearly her judgment isn't perfect).
So after two months of waiting, finally the day comes and I arrive to stay with her for a week before moving into my new place. Immediately I can tell something's wrong. She's colder, seems to be trying too hard, does all the caring things girlfriends do but now it seems fake. I ask her what's wrong and she says nothing, everything's great, I'm seeing something that isn't there. This goes on and just gets worse for the next four days. Sometimes she acts like the girl I remember, other times she's cold as hell. I continue to act the overly sensitive clinger and ask her what happened... has she lost feelings? She laughs and insists no, I'm crazy.
Last night we both barely sleep but also don't talk, and this morning after I again ask her what's up, she finally confesses and says that since I've been back she's lost some of the feelings she had before Christmas. I ask what this means, does she want to break up, and crying she says no, absolutely not, but says she really needs space and time alone, and we've been together way too much in the past few days. She keeps repeating that she's so sorry, that I'm such a "good person", that she just wants to feel like she did before Christmas. So I tell her I'll move out and into my new place immediately, no worries, that she can have the time she needs and we'll work from there. She cries some more, then finally says after our talk she's feeling better. I pack up and go.
Since then she's texted once to ask how I am, then again to ask whether or not it was intentional that the only thing I left behind was the tie she gave me for Christmas. (it wasn't.) I'm for now going to play it cool but nice, not initiating contact but not being cold either, and see where it goes. I'd put a good deal of money down on a Valentine's event tomorrow night, which we're still going to anyway, but I doubt things will be changed.
My guess is that the fire can't be reignited, however much we both want it. If there's any hope for us, do let me know how as I care about this girl so much. If it's just done-done, though, let me know also as I need to know what to expect. Thanks all.