ok.. so i've posted threads about me feeling like shit and dont know how to be myself again after what happened to me.. well now im feeling better..
i dunno how you guys might see this but i've been contemplating these past days on forgiving my ex. first, i got a lesson about forgiveness in church, then saw a movie which touched on that matter. so i've done a lot of self-check of how i feel towards him whenever i look back to that event. i realized that the more i kept the hatred, the more i remember him and can't really be free emotionally to move on.
he has been making attempts in making "peace" this past month and wasnt really successful coz i've been an ass and a bitch every time. he never said bad things to me all those times.. but i did coz i had all the reasons to. so i decided the other night to forgive him for my own sake. and it felt good.. realizing that i dont feel bad anymore.
i sent him e-mail telling him what i think... and after he got it, he immediately talked to me. it was how i expected it to be... a civil conversation between 2 people who used to care and say good things about each other. it went fine...
and last night we talked for almost 4 hours and i didnt feel even a tiny bit of hurt or hatred towards him. i actually spent the time laughing.. we've always been like that before and yeah i kinda missed having those silly conversations.
i dunno but it was just a great feeling being able to talk civilly and laugh away with him again. hell, i was even up to talk about his love life (which he said he doesnt have or just simply dont want to discuss the past).. i am that comfortable of myself now.. it's a wonderful feeling knowing that i dont have any negative feelings inside.
i guess each of us has a different way of moving on... it just so happened that forgiveness worked for me just fine. i'm glad. thanks to everybody who has been there for me ready to give their sound, sane and matter-of-factly advices.. hugs to y'all