Checking out my girlfriends cell phone calls and text

[SpadedOne]

I've been dating my gf for about 5 months now. We hung out for about 5 months before we made it official. We've worked together though for about 4 years now. She is was just out of a 7 year relationship/with a kid, when we started hangning out. She left him and moved out. She talks about him alot. She said he was her only good friend. I can understand that. About a month or two ago, she had started to notice that is bothers me how much she talks to/about him. So, she sent him a text message telling him that she only wanted to talk to him about their kid from now on. She made me look at the text message. She now shows me most of her calls and texts, thinking that I need to see them. I don't need to. I wanna trust her. On St. Pattys day, she wanted to go out. I had my kid, so couldn't. She wanted to hang out with her ex's roomate, because he just got a divorce. I didn't want her to hang out with some single guy I have never met. I told her that. So, she told me she went to a friends house that night and drank there. She even called me on speaker phone to verify that she was at her friends house.

This morning, I did something I'm not too proud of and looked at her calls and texts when she was in the shower. On, St. Pattys day, she text him and it just said "i'm here. be here in the next 20 minutes". So, I know she went to see him, and didn't tell me about it. I also found a few texts that said this in general "why do you have to be like that to me? I want to give our child a happy home. I want to move back with you. I'll give you the next 2-3 months to think it over".

I thought WOW!!!!!!!!! My gf tells me and shows me lots of love all the time. I want to belive her, but know I find this out. I feel bad, because I'm not a jealous person and have never looked at my gf's phones like I did today. I don't know what to do now. Do I tell her I was snooping in her phone? Do I try to find someother reason to break up with her? She is very emotional, and very stressed/depressed right now. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I feel I need to say something. I really like her as a friend, and don't want to ruin that. Just at a loss as what to do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

[VincenzoG91]

For more reasons than you probably mentioned here, you had doubts about her. And it turns out that your doubts were on target. She has been dishonest, and she is more interested in her ex than in you. I think that you should locate your self-esteem and then get out of this deadend relationship.

[Gigabitch]

You show her the text and tell her it's over. The trust is gone.

[girl68]

She's not ready to be dating anyone 'cept her baby's daddy.

[oneandonly]

I did go though my ex's text messages too. He saw me reading through when he got out of shower. I said to him, 'I know I am not supposed to do this but I just had to know.' I meant exactly that. I had to know. I don't feel guilty about what I did at all. I packed everything while he was at work and kicked him out that night.

Your action should depend on 'Will you be happy with her knowing what you know now?'

I knew I would never be.

[Indignant]

yeah, i've done it too. and left as soon as i found out.

[Mish]

This morning, I did something I'm not too proud of and looked at her calls and texts when she was in the shower. On, St. Pattys day, she text him and it just said "i'm here. be here in the next 20 minutes". So, I know she went to see him, and didn't tell me about it. I also found a few texts that said this in general "why do you have to be like that to me? I want to give our child a happy home. I want to move back with you. I'll give you the next 2-3 months to think it over".

It sounds like she is using you as a bargaining chip. And she's only showing messages to you she approves off so you don't suspect anything, to cover her tracks

[kisswithafist]

tell her you knew something wasnt right because your not stupid, and you looked through her phone, trust me shes the one in the wrong, and yeah so what you looked through her phone she was the one lying to you and how else were you going to find out. tell her then leave.