Girlfriend in bed with friend

[runcmd3]

hello all. a few days ago i decided to have a party. so the party was fun and well.. i had a little too much to drink. we all have been there. i got sick when sleeping in bed with my girlfriend and threw up on my bed. my girlfriend left the bed and went into another room to sleep. later i awoke to go clean up and went into another bedroom and found my girlfriend sleeping in a bed with my friend. she explained that she went in the bed first and that he went in after. we all had been drinking. my girlfriend makes jokes sometimes about this guy to mess with me. like one time we were all in the car and she was like hey im sitting on his lap right. should i be mad about this? what do you guys think? i just cant get over it

[Only-virgins]

Let it go man, you barfed all over the bed she wanted to sleep in. What do you expect. I doubt she would be so obvious as to continue to sleep with the guy in the bed if she was cheating cause it is obvious you would catch them...but you never know...some people are weird.

[1averagejoe]

Should have smelled her coochie to make sure.

Sarcasm aside I don't know...that just sounds weird.

Even if they didn't actually have sex or cheat. That's just weird that they slept in the same bed. He should have slept on the floor or she should have told him to, to avoid this conflict. I personally would confront each of them separately and get both sides of the story.

But in the end it's really just going to be a matter of if you believe her or not? Are you going to be able to trust her again? Honestly, don't say yes just because you want to...but will you be able to?

I was in a similar situation like this with my ex, I really wanted to trust her after the situations she had put herself into. But, to be honest I didn't.

[runcmd3]

i don't know. i confronted her and she started crying. she said she should have moved to another bed but she was too drunk to get up and move. which made me mad cause it sounds like bullshit. she cries every time i get mad about something. she is afraid i am going to break up with her. i asked her if she was in my situation and it was me in bed with another girl what she would have done. she said she would have been furious

[Only-virgins]

You two need to stop drinking so much, at least one of you should stay sober and sane enough in case for crying out loud.

[agatha]

I don't want to be judgmental with this situation. I had this WHAT IF's in my mind.

• WHAT IF they just slept together and nothing happened. They don't bother to separate, that someone should be on the floor, due to too much drunk and what they only need is to rest.
  
• WHAT IF something happened to them due to the liquor they drink. And that they are the only two in the room, they can do whatever they want because the boyfriend was already asleep.

I always experience this one. We hung out and got drunk. I slept with the guys but nothing happened to us. I think its the RESPECT we have with each other. Friendly slept with him.

[1averagejoe]

At this moment there is nothing she says or you can ask that will change anything. There is no way for her to prove she didn't cheat on you. Well a polygraph would work, but that's a bit extreme, lol.

The ultimate decision lies with you, whether you can trust her again. It's not just giving her another chance, but trusting her again. Because without that trust your relationship will fall apart. It was one of the reasons I got in so many fights with my ex, because I had so much trouble trusting her again.

[runcmd3]

yeah i trust her. im 99.9% sure she didn't cheat. its not even about her sleeping with him. its the fact that she didn't move when she knows hes a horny pathetic kid who she knows would try something (and he did) its also the fact that she would flip out and start crying if she caught me sleeping in the same bed with another girl. i dont think its even the relationship thats getting me mad. im not sure i love her. not because i dont love spending time with her. but because im not even sure i know what love is. she told me she loved me before i even asked her to be my girlfriend. it feels really good to let this out

[1averagejoe]

yeah i trust her. im 99.9% sure she didn't cheat. its not even about her sleeping with him. its the fact that she didn't move when she knows hes a horny pathetic kid who she knows would try something (and he did) its also the fact that she would flip out and start crying if she caught me sleeping in the same bed with another girl. i dont think its even the relationship thats getting me mad. im not sure i love her. not because i dont love spending time with her. but because im not even sure i know what love is. she told me she loved me before i even asked her to be my girlfriend. it feels really good to let this out

99.9% sure, ha? Either it's 100% or 0%. There's no in between, even if you feel you really trust her almost completely, you either do or you don't.

If I found out a guy was in the same bed as my girlfriend and tried making a move on her when she was drunk, his face would be up against a curb. What a dick, and you call him your friend?

Second, how old are you? How long have you two been together?

[runcmd3]

im 18. its been 4 months. are you saying i dont trust her? cause you might be right. although i have no reason not to trust her. i guess i'm being immature

[1averagejoe]

im 18. its been 4 months. are you saying i dont trust her? cause you might be right. although i have no reason not to trust her. i guess i'm being immature

You're young...she's young. First off stop being so dumb drinking recklessly. This all could have been avoided if you weren't drinking like an idiot. So yes you were immature, but not because of the reason you're thinking.

I'm not saying you don't trust her. I'm saying you either trust her or you don't trust her, there is no middle ground. You'll find out later if you do continue this relationship if you do or don't trust her.

Well I'd hate to come off as being negative, and I'm not telling you to not trust her I'm just saying she has given you a reason to not trust her. She was sleeping in the same bed with another guy who was trying to make a move on her.

I said it before and I'll say it again, this decision is yours on what you want to do. If you feel you are willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her then do that. But one thing I say you SHOULD do is to get rid of that douchebag loser you call a friend. And if you decide to stay with her you make it clear that you don't want her to be around him again. If she refuses or gets upset about that, I say screw her.

[Zilla80]

If you didn't vomit in bed this would have never happened. She would have slept with you. You booze you lose.

[runcmd3]

first off. i don't usually drink like that. i drink average once every 3 weeks or so. i only get like that once every 6 months maybe. and i do realize that that is immature. lifes boring without stuff like that.
i think you are right that i don't trust her. it makes me mad though because i know she didnt and does not want to sleep with him. the .01 percent is because she was drunk.
but why would she not move when he said hes sleeping in the bed. it feels like shes hiding something. under no circumstance should she be in the damn bed. if she slept with him she would have moved. if not she should have moved so i would not suspect anythign

[Mish]

I'd probably mess with someone's head if they threw up on my bed as well

[1averagejoe]

flifes boring without stuff like that.

A sign of immaturity.

i think you are right that i don't trust her. it makes me mad though because i know she didnt and does not want to sleep with him. the .01 percent is because she was drunk.
but why would she not move when he said hes sleeping in the bed. it feels like shes hiding something. under no circumstance should she be in the damn bed. if she slept with him she would have moved. if not she should have moved so i would not suspect anythign

The fact that you're questioning this situation if she actually did it pushes me to believe you are going to have trouble trusting her. This situation is going to put doubt in your mind if you can trust her the next time she says she's out with her friends or at a party somewhere without you.

Ask yourself this, would you trust she isn't with another guy at the party and you weren't there even though she told you she wasn't? If you trusted her it wouldn't bother you. So would it bother you?

You may be wondering what does it matter if it bothers me? Well a lack of trust means you'll want to be more in control of the situation and try to force her to avoid these situations. For example, keeping her from going out with her friends, doubting where she's been and getting in fights with her about it.

I say these things because I've been in a situation similar to this. My ex put herself in a shitty situation for me and it made it very hard for me to trust her again. We ended up getting in fights about it and ironically it turned out she was cheating on me. That's not to say your girlfriend did cheat. But I'm saying if you don't trust her, the relationship is going to fall apart.