i still haven't found what i'm looking for

[silverlocket]

Hi all,

First of all i'm not here to look for compassion .. but just to see if there's some one else in my situation..
I'm 32 by now and people say that i'm not an ugly guy, not shy, not average, not boring, happy... but BUT
Yes but... it's a lifetime that i'm looking for the girl of my life and like bono says: "i still haven't found what i'm looking for".. i mean she's soo hard to find... it's becoming an obsession... these last days i thought i found her, yes i really would have passed the rest of my life with her but she told me she already loved someone else.... i really really don't know if i'll ever meet her .. is there anyone who can tell me what he or she did to solve this problem ? If there is a solution ...

Thx..

Paul

[vashti]

In my observation, men who remain single (and want to be partnered) either lack the courage to ask women out, or hold unrealistic standards for women to live up to.

Have you ever been in a serious relationship?

[Mathias]

Too high of standards?

[vashti]

... yes, unrealistic. For example,

physical (guy expects to marry Angelie Jolie when he looks like Rick Moranis).
He may expect her to have a fantastic career, but also be a submissive, traditional partner.
He may want her to have little or no sexual experience, despite the fact that she is 30 and hit puberty at 13.

Of course, it may be that the original poster has some fatal quality, such as chronic unemployment, excessive neediness/clinginess, drug addiction, etc.

[silverlocket]

Mmm... i'm not looking for an angelina jolie... no career problems also.. i just want compatibility and someone who really cares... and i've had quite a lot of sexual experience... so maybe i'm too picky.... i don't know

[misombra]

He may want her to have little or no sexual experience, despite the fact that she is 30 and hit puberty at 13.

...and despite the fact that he has slept with a million people.

[silverlocket]

No.. not a lot of ... but i've had my experiences ..

[StabMyHeart]

U Are Looking for something imposible then... cuz u won't find a perfect woman cuz sooner or later u will see bad things on her and then u will be more then sad...

[Gigabitch]

It sounds like a lot of pressure. You're trying to make it happen rather than let it happen, and I would imagine women are picking up on this. You might as well spray yourself with Raid.

[silverlocket]

Yes i'm trying to "make it happen" for sure...

[jakki2903]

My advice is to forget about what you want and focus on living your life happily. We all feel at some stage like its hopeless and we'll never meet 'the one', but then we change what we want and heck the closest thing to it comes along...just be patient, good things come to those that wait.

My cousin is very fussy and has been single for a long time and only had one date! go on lots of dates, you might be surprised...my feelings on 'the one' change everytime I meet someone who gets closer to it, plus how I felt when I was 18 and wanted the one are different now I am nearly 28...chin up and stop thinking about it!

[Nkeno]

32 is still young....I guess time and a little patience will tell. Hit the dating scene in the meantime.

[Aidan]

I'm with Jakki and Gigabitch on this. Relax and enjoy life and you'll be far more likely to meet (and keep) "her".

I wish I took my own advice! I'm 38 and have all but given up! And, no, I'm not fussy! That's when they say you'll find someone too - when you're not looking. Hasn't happened thus far. Interested ladies - drop me a line

[Only-virgins]

I don't know how this dating shit works and I don't care anymore. I am 25 so not that far off from you age. I mean who cares anymore? I see fat ugly guys with hot chicks and great looking successful guys looking for a woman and yet can't find one...I also see the opposite ....but in the end I just think it is luck and coincidence and I just don't care. If it happens it does and if it doesn't than it doesn't ... as long as I can still get vagina in my face...but that his been becoming rare ...and so I hunt for vagina...the relationship garbage can go to hell.

Maybe you intimidate the girls because you look better. I mean what the hell happens when you are with a girl? I think the chemistry has to be there and I think you are trying to force an extremely serious relationship on people that aren't really feeling enough of it.

physical (guy expects to marry Angelie Jolie when he looks like Rick Moranis).
He may expect her to have a fantastic career, but also be a submissive, traditional partner.
He may want her to have little or no sexual experience, despite the fact that she is 30 and hit puberty at 13.

Very good points but the third one...I mean a guy could want someone who hasn't been with to many people ...maybe wanting a virgin is unreasonable but little experience isn't. Specially if he himself hasn't had to much. It bugs some people and it will be a wall and nail in the coffin of that relationship at one point or another.

...and despite the fact that he has slept with a million people.

Yea, thats the one.

[TheSphinx]

... it's a lifetime that i'm looking for the girl of my life...it's becoming an obsession...

People who "need" something this much usually put me on edge.

It's likely that the women you are meeting can feel this as well.

jakki had some valuable advice in "focus on living your life happily." Good things seem to flow to those who have little need of them, while those who "need" after them receive little in exchange for their mental/emotional efforts.

~Sphinx