What should I make of this...?

[damn2008]

Met a sweet, beautiful girl around March, and we hit it off on the first date. It got very hot and heavy...sparks flying everywhere.

Slowly but surely within the next month, I realized something was fishy and it turned out she and her ex- (of around 3 years) were reconciling or whatever. She has described him to me as a self-centered and careless guy. Doesn't care for her goals and essentially took advantage of her emotionally, financially, etc. This really surprises me...and maybe I persist too hard after her but it's basically too late.

We keep in contact, and sometimes see each other every few weeks. Problems persist with her relationship, they have fights, they're in love again, wait no they're not,etc. She tells me this stuff...all at the same time while we talk openly that we still have feelings for one another.

Eventually, she has what she says is their "final break-up" (I still don't believe it). We talked on the phone and she describes that she is attracted to me physically, emotionally, but there is something that she just "doesn't know" that stops her from pursuing something with me. She claims it's because I am the opposite of her ex- (I am positive, respectful, we both can communicate like adults,supportive,etc.) but it scares her that I am such an "unknown" and she is "used to/comfortable with" being taken advantage of in a relationship.

I am keeping my other options open, but honestly...I would like to try to have something with this girl. I do not want to push her but at the same time I want her to "open up" once again and just take a chance with me. I know she might take some time to heal...but what is the best advice I can do?

I know many might say "drop her and forget about her", but lets just say you're me...what's the best approach I can give?

[Primo]

I posted in another thread about how the back 'n forth of ending a relationship only adds the the pain and drama.

If I was you? I'd realize that I'M the rebound for her and enjoy the angry breakup sex that she's going to give you. Stay away from being the friend with the shoulder she can cry on, unless you're getting the sex. It only means she's giving the breakup sex to someone else and you're listening to all the crap.

Go stock up on condoms, but don't be surprised if she keeps going back 'n forth.

[damn2008]

We had sex our first date and that was it. Because of her on-off thing with her ex-, she hesitates moving that direction when I see her cause as she said "I'm not that type of girl and what happened was so much further than anything I've had with another guy".

When we got together last, she admitted to having a "shield" up cause she still had her b/f in the back of her mind. We did kiss several times though and she said she had a great time.

[Primo]

It's your call, but unless you're getting the rebound sex, you're just going to be the free therapist to make her feel better about herself and chances are she'll just go back to him for more of the same crap.

[Mish]

We talked on the phone and she describes that she is attracted to me physically, emotionally, but there is something that she just "doesn't know" that stops her from pursuing something with me. She claims it's because I am the opposite of her ex- (I am positive, respectful, we both can communicate like adults,supportive,etc.) but it scares her that I am such an "unknown" and she is "used to/comfortable with" being taken advantage of in a relationship.

Well, this is the point where you tell her that the two of you aren't right for each other and you should go separate ways. You are too comfortable and non threatening for her. And she is too unpredictable, lowly and assholish for you.