My friend kissed me...but i have a man...

[BitterSweet428]

I am 21 years old and am currently in a long distance relationship with the love of my life. For the past 4 months he has been trying desperately to get a job and move out here but has had no luck. As a couple we argue at least twice a week, sometimes its less but thats about average. I love him to death though and will be here for him until he is ready to come back to me. I know that he loves and appreciates me although he can definitley work on showing it a bit more. Still I rarely feel neglected.

Every woman has that one male friend that we always go to when we're having issues with our men.He always make everything so much better and allows me to see things from a males point of view which really helps understanding my man better. This friend lived in a different state but has sense moved into my city to go back to school, which I find even more convenient because now I can see and talk to him more often. My boyfriend knows about this friend and trust me completely around him. The other night I was over at his house playing COD, (yes I know i'm a geek ) when he out of no where kisses me... I immediately pushed back and felt so bad that I was so unaware that I began crying. He hugged me immediately and began apologizing. I left shortly after drying myself off on his shirt. I immediately told my man everything that had happened and how horrible I felt because I would never want to cheat on him or hurt him. He understood and accepted the situation for what it was. We have sense moved from it...but theres is still something bothering me.

The entire time my friend kissed me all I could see was my man, and even though I knew at that moment that it was wrong, I have to admit that it actually felt so right. Now please make no mistake, I love my man with all of my heart, and my friend knows this, but sense the situation I cannot stop thinking about the kiss! I love my friend dearly and have accepted his apology, but I must admit that things are just not the same with us anymore. He later admitted his feelings for me and now I feel cornered. I have no intentions of leaving my man, however at the same time I really do love my friend and I think that I have even began forming new feelings for him. He also admitted to having moved back to my city for me, and how much he wants to make me his. He's willing to do all the things that my man doesn't or hasn't done.

Someone please help me I need some advice on what to do! I dont want to leave my man, but I dont want to lose my friend!!!

[JasonG]

You need to break your friends heart and tell him that you only consider him a friend and that you love your boyfriend very much and for him to find somebody else. He is trying to rescue you from your situation. I know because I have played this role before and if I could go back in time I would have just remained friends with the girl.

[qwertz]

I agree, you need to make it clear in no uncertain terms that a friend is all he will ever be.

I was in a very similar situation a couple of weeks back, only I wasnt with anyone at the time my friend made his move. From that moment i knew whatever happened things would never ever be the same again.
I decided to give things a go with him, obviously thats not what you want so you should back off him, i dont think you can ever be as close as you were, again.

[workoutgirl1970]

I think you should go for it with your friend. He is there and your bf isn't. If it doesn't work out then you can be friends and move on to someone else but if it does then you have a best friend and bf all in one. He is in love with you, or he is trying to break you up. I have had this happen and then when I was broken up I wasn't a challenge and he only wanted to be friends and I was left with nothing, be careful.

[doppelgaenger]

Every woman has that one male friend that we always go to when we're having issues with our men.He always make everything so much better and allows me to see things from a males point of view which really helps understanding my man better. This friend lived in a different state but has sense moved into my city to go back to school, which I find even more convenient because now I can see and talk to him more often. My boyfriend knows about this friend and trust me completely around him. The other night I was over at his house playing COD, (yes I know i'm a geek ) when he out of no where kisses me... I immediately pushed back and felt so bad that I was so unaware that I began crying. He hugged me immediately and began apologizing. I left shortly after drying myself off on his shirt. I immediately told my man everything that had happened and how horrible I felt because I would never want to cheat on him or hurt him. He understood and accepted the situation for what it was. We have sense moved from it...but theres is still something bothering me.

This is not true.

The entire time my friend kissed me all I could see was my man, and even though I knew at that moment that it was wrong, I have to admit that it actually felt so right. Now please make no mistake, I love my man with all of my heart, and my friend knows this, but sense the situation I cannot stop thinking about the kiss! I love my friend dearly and have accepted his apology, but I must admit that things are just not the same with us anymore. He later admitted his feelings for me and now I feel cornered. I have no intentions of leaving my man, however at the same time I really do love my friend and I think that I have even began forming new feelings for him. He also admitted to having moved back to my city for me, and how much he wants to make me his. He's willing to do all the things that my man doesn't or hasn't done.

Wait a minute, you said he tried to kiss you and you immediately pushed away... now you're changing the story a bit. Now you're saying that he was making out with you and the entire time you were making out, you claim you were fantasizing about your man. Bullshit.

This whole story sounds like bullshit to me. You're going to have to do one of two things. Drop the friend or lose the boyfriend. Now that your friend has approached you intimately, you can't continue the friendship!

[daydreamin420]

That is a tough one. You sound like you really love your BF but if you are developing feelings for the friend, than there must be a problem in your relationship. You know yourself better than any of us. You have to make this choice on your own. My advice would be just to think about it, all the pro's and con's, what are you losing, what are you gaining, and try to decide. I hope this helps!

[soulsurvivor23]

Whatever you do, don't leave both guys in NO MANS LAND! AKA, you take a little from both with the only distinction from the two being the title "friend" or "boyfriend." As was said earlier now that the line has been crossed you really gotta choose if the friend is who you want or if your gonna stick it out with the bf.. It's not fair to either to be in a valley of indecision.

[poathomson]

I have had this problem recently myself, I have found a new man, we are not yet "official" but we are very close. My best male friend, who lives pretty far away, has strong feelings for me, I did have feelings for him, but since meeting this new man(who I see almost every day) I have lost those feelings for my friend. This new man though, he is one that you hear about in the true love stories, not the ones where he is the "Prince Charming" and all that BS, but he is the one that is perfect for YOU, and this new man is MY perfect man.
Since you don't want to lose your man, but you also don't want to lose your friend I think that you must set limits with your friend, tell him you want to remain friends at the moment. If you think that your feelings may get stronger for your friend then you need to do some serious thinking about your man and the relationship you have, your friend is always there for you while your man is not always there. It will be a very tough choice, but in the end it all comes down to if you are happy with the decision.

[SirWagginston]

Do all girls really have a male friend like this? Girls are bitches.

[Gaby09]

I think you need to break his heart because it's unfair towards ur bf. I think you liked it because it was sth "new" and "not allowed" BUT you must also know, that ur male friend might missunderstood you and thinks that you also have feeling for him. You have to set a limit. If he does not accept it, he's not a real friend

[Gigabitch]

Every woman has that one male friend that we always go to when we're having issues with our men.He always make everything so much better and allows me to see things from a males point of view which really helps understanding my man better.

Um, no they don't. That's how you end up cheating. Your friend is attracted to you, which makes him, by definition, more than a friend. He's your backup plan. You've already lost your friend.


If you want to understand men better, stick around this forum. You'll learn a lot. The guys here have taught me SO MUCH about the way guys think, I can't thank them enough, and none of them have ever tried to kiss me.

[hurt_confuzd]

Get rid of both of them and buy yourself a vibrator.

[VincenzoG91]

Do all girls really have a male friend like this? Girls are bitches.

Sure. You know all those posts here from guys trapped in the Friend Zone? Each one of them is passively interested in their own BitterSweet428.

[vashti]

Every woman has that one male friend that we always go to when we're having issues with our men.He always make everything so much better and allows me to see things from a males point of view which really helps understanding my man better. \!

My one male friend like this is gay. That's pretty much the only time they aren't thinking about f-ing you, or vice-versa. And you know it, I'm sure.

[brokenhe@rted]

what kind of gf are you to kiss another guy? what kind of friend is he if he's kissing you when you have a guy??...