Broke up with boyfriend over Facebook?

[AndreaaN]

We've been together for 10 months in a long distance relationship. Because of the distance, plus the fact that he was kind of a womanizer in the past, cheated on his girlfriends etc, I have some trouble trusting him.
We had some argues in the past over Facebook, as he doesn't want to change his relationship status (it's blank now) and he doesn't want to put pictures with us on his profile. He has tons of pictures with his friends, girls, just 2 with me but in an album in which he has 50 pictures with many girls (his girl friends), so you can't tell that he's with me.
He adds tons of girls he doesn't know, "likes" their pictures, he never "liked" one of mine and so on..
So today I sent him some pictures we took last weekend and from them he chose a few with his guys and added them on his profile and none with me. I asked him why don't you put one wit us?(we had some nice photos and none of them was cheezy or with us kissing), but he said "no, you're not the one to tell me what pictures to put"
I simply said I had enough and that I think he's trying to hide the fact that we're together so I broke up with him. Maybe Facebook is stupid but I took it as a symbol of how he feels about me..
Do you think I did the best thing? Thanks!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yeah, he's trying to hide the fact that he's with you. Facebook is just how you found out, not the actual cause of the breakup. Without Facebook you just wouldn't have known, that he never tells girls he has a girlfriend.

[Wakeup]

I think you did the right thing, not because of his facebook M.O. but rather because he doesn't value you. You are (or were) a temporary option and he's an attention whore who gets off on the attention of woman he doesn't even know. A, I'll always leave my options open kinda guy. (Likely even when/if he gets married)

Your gut was telling you something, always listen to your gut.

P.S. Google "Facebook and divorce" and you'll get a good read on how bad that site is for relationship in general.

[AndreaaN]

thank you.. In the end,although I was the one to say I had enough, it looked like he was the one to break up with me cause he said that if he hears another word about Facebook from me, it will be the end. He always called the "putting of pictures with your girlfriend" pathetic, and sometimes I thought ok, maybe he's right..and maybe he's a private person. But then, why do you have a Facebook account? He has pictures with his friends, his family, his pet, his entire life is displayed there, besides me. I'm almost sure now that he had an ulterior motive.
He was cold to me in real life too, and he told me he doesn't love me, so..it's not like things were perfect and the only thing that bugged me was Facebook.
I just feel sad because I really loved him. Hope the feeling will pass soon.

[Wakeup]

ahhhh.... Good for you for having the self worth to dump someone who is clearly showing you that he didn't value you. Sadly, there are many women out there that would have stayed for the crumbs he gave them even when they were unhappy. You have a good sense of self-worth so don't let him tear away at your sense of self. I don't even know you and I know that you deserve a fine young man who values you enough to let the world know that he is now off the market because he's with the one he values above all others.

You'll hurt for a bit because your ego is bruised but with no contact and you're confidence and fine self esteem you'll be back out there in no time and you'll be totally indifferent to him. Do yourself a huge favor though. Block and delete him from facebook so that you're not tempted to creep his page. Doing that will keep him in your mind and it will make it harder for you to come to the stage of indifference to him.

Congrats on knowing what is in your own best interests.

P.s.

plus the fact that he was kind of a womanizer in the past, cheated on his girlfriends etc,

In futue I'd consider that a red flag. Guys like him more often than not get used to the "love shack" lifestyle and find it hard to give up. It's like any type of addiction, they need to hit some sort of rock bottom before changing. (think Tiger Woods).

[AndreaaN]

I was hoping for more opinions, but hey, maybe my problem wasn't that interesting
I have friends to talk to, but I wrote on this site because I wanted to hear outside opinions, cause of course my friends would say I'm right no matter what
I made a mistake today and called him, he was really indiferent, saying that I'm stupid for caring about Facebook and that he wants to be with a better girl. That really made me sad, again.. Anyway, hope I did the best thing. Thank you once again.

[HeartIsAching]

Yes, you did the right thing, Facebook or not.

[devonbrown]

In the grand scheme of things, Facebook is not that important. It is just another tool to use to examine how people treat you. You are probably right in your assessment of the Facebook photo situation, but even if it wasn't that, the fact that you say that he was cold to you in real life and his subsequent comments about wanting a "better" girl is enough of a reason to dump the jerk.

You are missing him not because you loved him, but because you have an empty space of time where he was once there. It will go away with time and if you concentrate on other things. And don't call him again. Cut all contact. He isn't worth it.

Good luck.

[IncognitoSir]

Yup, he's a douche bag. Don't even worry about that chump, he's playing games.

[Wakeup]

I made a mistake today and called him, he was really indiferent, saying that I'm stupid for caring about Facebook and that he wants to be with a better girl. That really made me sad, again.. Anyway, hope I did the best thing. Thank you once again.

Why would you need validation that you did the right thing and need even more validation when you got it? Stop being insecure about this and thinking you did the wrong thing. What would you have done otherwise? Keep being disrespected and devalued by him until you has zero self worth left and become codependent in the process?

Forget needing more validation for this. You know you did the right thing. He doesn't deserve you so remember that and DON'T call him again. Everytime you do that you boost his fvcktard ego one degree higher than it already is. Don't give him that satisfaction.

[Ian Moone]

Long distance relationships do work and that's not a reason really to break up with another, and if u can't handle that then why did u do it to begin with, did one promise other to move closer and never do it. Tell the other if long distance is too much u would if u moved closer to me, but the other person should make sure before they change4 there life that this person may work, so best to know them a little before doing that kinda complex but if works out proves that both mean something to one another.

However that's one thing...

The rest of what u said sounds 100% right with what he's doing. Tell him everything, and that his own actions u see him doing is "ONE" to tell him what pics to post and what not, I mean that's kinda telling him your concerned about how much he even cares or loves u. Facebook is the cheapest way to tell him vs. driving or flying to go see him just to tell him that. It's best mostly to do in person but I think all u did is pretty decent and u should find somebody that treats u better... Not much I can help with in his defense if all u put is true.

[Ian Moone]

P.s. In futue I'd consider that a red flag. Guys like him more often than not get used to the "love shack" lifestyle and find it hard to give up. It's like any type of addiction, they need to hit some sort of rock bottom before changing. (think Tiger Woods).

Good point but also a man or woman can ADMIT they did these things and change, in this case it doesn't really sound like that and it he changed he would openly admit his faults of the past and say he learned hard ways from his past and changed to be a better man for relations. All I am saying is don't apply this to every Tom, Dick , and Harry or every Sue, Nancy, and Betty. The saying once a cheater always a cheater isn't a true saying. Assuming too much is stereo-typing. But it can, only can be a red flag, not a define red flag...

[Wakeup]

When I meant "to me that would be a red flag" means that I would certainly consider it and pay attention to the current way he deals with me in general. His behaviour is the proof that the red flag and what my gut told me, is true. That being this guy has not changed and will likely never change.

Red flags are not things that indicate with 100% certainty that they are a deal breaker. They are simple telling you to stop and observe before allowing yourself to become completely vulnerable and falling for the person... Red flags are not to be ignored in hopes that the issue will go away... your gut warns you and usually it warns you for good reason.

P.S. But yes, I agree you shouldn't apply the once a cheater always a cheater unless of course that is what you totally believe. Then that would be called a deal breaker for you (the general you).