dying relationship

[missy]

I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together around 3.5 years. We know each other pretty well and I know we love each other very much. However, lately I’m feeling uneasy and restless. I’m his first girlfriend and he’s not a romantic guy, so he doesn’t know how to fancy me like the way a girl would like. I don’t need a whole lot but sometimes a nice romantic night out like a date would be nice. I have told him this problem before, and whenever that happens, we would go out on a night in town. And afterwards everything would be fine between us until I start to feel empty again. The problem is I don’t understand why he can’t keep in mind to treat me out like a girlfriend once in awhile. I miss that about us. Now that we go on a date, I can’t stop looking at him and feel disguise about the way he dress and eat. He’s such a slob. Sometimes I would throw a few comments here and there and hope that he get the point, but he doesn’t and he turns it around and say we don’t have sex anymore. Well, is not that I don’t want to but I feel so much like a piece of meat when we do it. There’s no romance in our sex…it’s just sex. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like our relationship is dying…and I keep wanting to say break up but the words can’t come out of my mouth. What should I do?

[Zekk_T_Strife]

I haven't had any relationship experience but I have observed a lot so take this how you will. First of all the most important thing to remember is that in the main scheme of things, you need to be happy. If this relationship is making you anything but happy, it needs to be changed or be left behind. Since you seem to be very attached to him and have obviously made a long time committment toward him I wouldn't suggest tossing it to the wind quite yet.

The thing I know about us guys is that most of us don't take hints. If your subtle suggestions and hints aren't getting to him, then I would have to suggest simply talking to him straight about it. A lot of guys need things spelled out for them so you may just have to present the problems your having directly.

I would say make sure he knows exactly how you feel, remind him often that you need to feel special, and whatever you do, make sure this relationship makes you happy. Life is too short to squander on things that make us miserable. Everyone deserves to find their piece of heaven on Earth. Of course, this is merely my opinion. Take it how you will.

[Illusional]

to put it simply, he's gotten to comfortable with the relationship and yourself. he's being himself and you're realizing that this isn't the same person who he was when you first met him.

i think that you should be honest with him. the two of you will probably get into a fight or huge disscussion about your differences but if the two of you are willing to actually take the time and settle this, then you know he is one that you should keep. if he's not willing to see things from your point of view, then maybe it's time to move on. keep an open mind and state your points. listen to what he has to say but be strong of what you want to say. accept his ideas but present your own. raverboy

[missy]

Me and my boyfriend have worked things out. We had a long talk and as it turns out we were both feeling unappreciated. He felt that I don't say enough nice things about him which made him ponder why I still stick around with him if I'm so unsatisfy with him. I totally understood his feelings and since then we have been very good to each other. I often keep in mind that he needs just as much loving words like I do.

Thanks,
missy

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Ahhh, makes you feel good to see things work out, doesnt it?